Today was another wasted day

That wilted as it drew to a close.

Energy ran away to where happiness was hiding.

Productivity was taking a nap, hope was in the pub.

Dreaming of a clear day, of a clear mind.

Tears blur clarity and vision.

So I will sit back down, waiting for the gift.

The gift of a new day full of new opportunities.

Full of chances to make you proud.

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That tune draws us together. Something in the tragedy creates something in common.

A kind of lust. An abundance of trust.

Making me believe that you are the piece of the puzzle that I’ve been searching for.

Your loneliness is a match for my hope. And I hope that when you leave

You’ll miss me too. An imprint of me on your mind.

So that I won’t feel too ridiculous

Alone.

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I criticised the 5 o’clock shadow,

To see if you’d change it to noon,

Because then I’ll know if it’s too soon

To tell Jack to come out.

He’s been boxed in.

And I need him to know that

I love you.

Because once the words cross

That bridge.

I can open up the door

And let the light from my soul

Pour into your life.

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you are the light that comes through

a window that I never even knew existed

until now.

a strange and new type of yellow

that makes me forget grey

and warms every freckle.

I never knew that I needed the light

from the window that I never knew existed

until now.

a fresh new frame of living

that makes me forget hurt

and holds my hand as I walk forward.

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Off you go, back to the strange world from which you came from.

All that remains is a newspaper clipping, the odd strand of hair: even now.

Filthy remarks still stain each and every mug.

The smell of lies still clings to the curtains,

Like a kitten before training.

Outside its obviously raining.

Another cliché for the books.

Maybe if it wasn’t for my impatience, her good looks...

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Empty space of: her.

I hear the wind howl.

I don’t trust her love.

I wallow in pity.

I forget to breathe.

I am strong and weak.

And my face speaks truth.

I dance. Dance at night.

And I forget her.

Because she is nothing.

I am young and afraid.

I love feeling and hate, hate beginning.

But I sense the end.

I stop to pretend

That I am ok.

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Here we go again then

The same old story of girl meets boy who has met a girl.

Girl is alone again and crafts her own romance

Shuts herself off and curls into a metaphorical ball so that she can no longer see the love around her

As if his love is the only thing that keeps her alive

When he is only a cherry on top of the magnificent cake which is her life.

Different slices of...

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Hey there old you

From that time before when I was sore and broken.

You look more grown than that old time

More distant somehow, somehow more protected.

And I have felt the weight of my punished soul

Dragging behind me

Perching on my heavy shoulders.

You are a wonder

And I have wondered if you really were the one to make us a two.

Just old me and old you.

I am fixed n...

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Thinking about that summer heat

Brings me back

To when

You were present in my world,

Not yet dragged to another

For your premature slumber.

I crave your fire

Your fury.

I want to see orange

So I wake up early to

Catch the day crawl in and

I hold hands with the auburn air.

Pretend you're there. 

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Smudged marks

And the inkling of sparks 

Keeps me waiting;

Craving to learn the meaning of patience.

Focusing on the breath

So that I'll stop focusing on your eyes.

Those deep universes of potential and noise

That keep me awake at night,

Paddling in my ponder

And I wonder

When my version of now will meet with yours.

I try not to shift my world

Instead let it dri...

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Trying hard to be better.

The new hair, new eye shadow.

The dating app.

Searching for a level up in false things,

Or false thoughts that do not correlate to the inner me.

We grow through correlation with others

Interconnecting and intertwining

Creeping higher and higher towards Utopia.

I'll meet you there sometime, some place.

When we've thrown away our falsitities and n...

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And that's it. That's how it is.

Quite simply alone in the dark

All candles have been blown out.

The only light that exists now is within.

Trying hard to stay shiny

And not let that inner flame die out...

Constantly striving for new things to stoke the flames

And generate warmth.

But fuel is rare and fuel is precious.

Sometimes we have to embrace the cold

And wea...

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i am a 1940s economist.

laissez faire or intervention 

the social and future benefits of

You.

negative externalities of the truth swarm around my brain

churning out countless figures

and i figured that i'd just keep quiet

and keep my findings to myself. 

because i have found the formula to joy

and you are the addition that i have been looking for

and looking...

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why is it that sometimes we

fall

and sometimes we fly.

we hit the cold earth or the stars in the sky.

the wind blows through our hair

or it knocks us flat.

we sink into our soft beds then we slide through the slats.

i often stop and wonder that and

if the middle ground were not locked and off limits

i would try and enter and dwell within it.

flowers grow then flo...

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As though the tide settles and the moon pulls away from its lunar embrace. It puts down its sadness and washes its face in the stars and the dawn. A wave of okay floods around the wolves as they fight the rest and the vampires can rest once more. Twinklings of light and whispers of clouds greet the moony surface and it washes a brief goodbye as it waits again for the cool comfort of the dark.

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I dreamt about you on Wednesday.

You were dancing and it was beautiful.

A beautiful cosmic dancer before my eyes.

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Here comes the light

Holding hands with the dark.

The dawn is confused and asks the night for clarity

But nothing is clear, all is grey.

Here comes the bee

Holding hands with the rose.

The hive buzzes with hate, for lack of nectar

But nothing is sweet, all is wrong.

Here comes the waves

Holding hands with the sand.

The fish demand a reason, an answer

But ...

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Today,

Saw a pigeon, lying to itself.

Trying to convince itself it was a pigeon.

Saw it staring hard, hard into the mirror

Searching for the truth.

Watched it stare at the alien beak and plumes

Until a tail and a wet nose manifested.

Saw the pigeon cry when it remembered that the dog inside was different to the pigeon outside.

Saw other pigeons laughing.

Dogs unsure abou...

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I place a bucket under my heart

To catch the drips of emotion

As I am overflowing

The pain is a constant drip now

And I don't know how to

Stop it leaking through

I patched it up but it always finds a way

Out.

I store bottles of thoughts

That I try to recycle

But I am scared that I will drop them

And cut myself on their shards all over again.

And old scars w...

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You have trapped yourself in this world

Where all is to gain through losing your

True self in the pretence of others.

Clutching onto the odd word or phrase

When all is a daze and you cannot count

Your intelligence as useful, only

Oppressive.

©

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“Be joyful and exult

As for all things known

That is the most difficult”

W.B.Yeats

I’ve worked hard for this flower bud here before me.

Planted the seed,

Nurtured it, edging it to exceed everyone’s expectations of

Me.

France’s sunlight led it to bloom.

And soon it will be ready

For me to wear on the lapel of my jacket.

Like a badge of honour.

For ...

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You are the magic

That life craves.

The sparkle against

The dull city

And the shitty

Monotony that we all fear.

You are the sugar

In my black coffee.

Taking away the bitterness and

Replacing the shittiness

With twinkly eyes

And soft words and stuff.

My life glimmers when you are in it

And every glance sends a shiver down my spine and every minute

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