I’m sorry to disappoint you
That I can be too sweet and so weak
And yet I can be cold and cruel too
That I can completely snap to my core
And morph into a creature of different sorts
I’m sorry that I’m not white or black
Or of any matter
For that fact
I’m not anything
Not wholly whole
Has been my superpower...
Monday 8th May 2023 9:09 pm
You pulled me into your orbit
when I needed your help
and so, I made you my centre
to centre myself
That was my first mistake
I looked inside you
for places where I could hide
I hoped to run from reality
into the delusions of your mind
I was happy to believe you were one of a kind
chuffed upon chuffed that you were mine
and I felt adored
grateful to m...
Friday 28th April 2023 11:54 pm
I’ve been working on
Coming back from
Living in this world
I don’t have to know who I am
But I must know that I am
I am, I am, I am
I don’t have to know what I am
To deserve to be
I’m working on being,
Because I’ve been existing
Mindless, automatic, numb
Best autopilot, me
Coming back from the dead...
Monday 6th February 2023 11:45 pm
It just simply does.
My arm fits behind your head,
as we lie on the bed, in the glow.
Your head on my shoulder,
comfortable and light.
It just does.
Staring at the ceiling;
at the cobweb on the fan.
Nobody cares. There are no thoughts,
just reverie, and peace. Just to be.
It just fits.
This life with you,
and who we are.
This growth togeth...
Saturday 31st December 2022 5:10 pm
I'm looking at all the warning signs. Staring them straight in the face and baring my claws.
Will I bite?
I will scream, scratch, scare everyone away from me. Stay.
My stomach hurts when I see the person I'm dating start to morph into their true self. Self pitty comes through my nightmares. I can't sleep at night when I don't know what they think about me. Why.
I will not be absent for...
Monday 19th December 2022 7:07 am
Cuts from pristine crisp yellow pages
leading to a moonlit night
beside the waves
with the onomatopoeia of the lapping waters
against your feet
and the warmth from the
Cuts from letters
not pronouncing love
but charges for services with “friendly reminder” written in red
and an occasional congratulations
and seasonal “vote for me”s
Tuesday 8th November 2022 5:41 am
To think it's been so long
Since I last saw you
This side of my persona
Has been stashed away
Like a cache of personalities
Itching to get out
Often I use this frame
To get through a tough moment
I'm not so lost
I'm not so hurt
I'm not so confused
But I still need you
To myself who stashed myself
Here I am
And I'm sorry
Wednesday 1st December 2021 12:03 am
Although she was beautiful
her struggle never seemed to fade.
With roots as strong as hers she would always smile
even when her petals were plucked and frayed.
Remember how her beauty glowed
as she faced the sun with grace.
Half laughing, half crying
somehow she bloomed from her pain.
Saturday 30th October 2021 7:01 pm
A green bud breathing in,
say welcome to your kin,
a promising prospect of evolution,
let it grow as it makes a revelation.
Opening up to the world surrounding,
potential no longer withholding,
a mechanism of nature working its magic,
as mesmerising as a smoldering wick.
Green gives way to different colors,
reaching out tenderly are vivid petals,
Tuesday 8th June 2021 6:11 pm
When you get out of bed in the morning
You shrink your feet to fit the flip-flops
When you eat your cereals
You shrink your stomach to feel you're full
When you dress up
You shrink your body to wear that pale coat
You shrink your colors because this season's trend
When you go out
You shrink your thoughts to suit your pals
You shrink yourself to fit all those places
Sunday 14th March 2021 7:16 pm
your fingertips are pulsing
from all that touchlessness
where do you leave your fingerprints
when no human skin is around?
your hands sniff touch
and they find you
tangled being, hanging plant
with your roots in the clouds
you touch yourself and discover
that you have human skin
below your mind's weeds
underneath you vegetal body
so you i...
Thursday 11th March 2021 4:55 pm
I felt like a clay pot
once from the earth
Born with spirit, soul cropped
The owners; my guardians, held me
They allowed me to be used
for my true purposes,
not as a pot but a holder of life;
Later, others wanted me to be a pot for use
To look and act like other pots
Or my uniqueness challenged their sameness
So I became like them, soul lost....
Sunday 28th February 2021 8:16 pm
We are all of us children
grown up and making our own
way in the world
for all of that.
We are all of us dreamers
woken up to our own
for all of that.
We are all of us lovers
in love with making our own
for all of that.
We are all of us seekers
stretching up to find our own
place in this world
Saturday 9th January 2021 8:31 am
I am from prose into poetry
I am from madness into sanity
I am from doubt into belief
I am from anguish into ecstasy
I am from isolation into company
I am from hatred into peace
I am from discord into harmony
I am from solo into symphony
I am from restraint into release
Saturday 2nd January 2021 3:51 am
Narcissus creatures surround me.
Vultures, pecking at my serenity.
Testing my resolve.
Threatening to consume me.
Daring me to break free,
from a doomed mentality.
Do I close my eyes to injustice
permeating our atmosphere,
like The Great Smog?
I spread my Phoenix wings.
Rise above the toxic darkness.
Bring forth healing light.
Spread peace, kindness, love.
Never give up ...
Thursday 10th December 2020 3:49 pm
[ ] See the red flags and watch who & what in your life you allow.
[ ] A smile can be a frown upside down.
[ ] The energy vampires brings what appears as holy water only to watch you drown.
[ ] They see your King/Queen royalty & they want your crown.
[ ] You may not see them peeping, lurking, spying, but they're around.
[ ] They're studying you lowkey up & down, hair folli...
Monday 23rd November 2020 11:58 am
There's 2 sticks
Give it A lot of friction
A slow building tension
Allow it some time It'll start, don't whine
See the little embers?
all of the smoke?
Take a step back so you don't choke.
Give it room to breathe
Just watch, you'll see.
See, there's a little flame
all you need is a little time and patience
You wouldn't want all that effort to be wasted.
Tuesday 25th August 2020 2:59 am
I was born at twenty-one
Thrust out of the womb
Released into the newness of life
Born, at twenty one
Eyes opened to the world
Crying, struggling, fighting
Trying to make sense of it all
Yes, I was only born at twenty-one
Borne out of education
Borne out of society’s expectations
Borne out of comfort, out of the shield
Though I lived before
I was onl...
Friday 14th August 2020 9:26 am
I May Be Wrong
I may be wrong but I’ll say it anyway
surely that is the point.
Jung’s theory of circumambulation says
“Give it a go”
Follow that glimmering thing
that interests you
down the path of development.
Heed the call to adventure
let new parts of you manifest.
Be the fool as precursor to
the Jedi master.
It’s an error ridden process
Thursday 30th July 2020 6:06 pm
An orange morning,
a fresh aromatic air,
and a cup of coffee
might make you crazily cool.
The multi-colour roses,
a lush-green garden,
and the love-filled people
might sway you in a romantic realm.
The dark clouds,
and a forked lightning
might throw you in a scary field.
The bad guys,
an evil thought,
and the black habits
might drive you glum and burri...
Wednesday 3rd June 2020 8:04 am
Some mistakes cannot be undone
They haunt us with the rising sun
Memories that hijack the waking mind
And racing thoughts that make life grind
Though we attempt to bury them deep
When we’re vulnerable there they creep
So how from this torture do we escape
And begin our story to reshape
By accepting that we all have flaws
And we aren’t prisoners to what was
Piece by pi...
Sunday 10th May 2020 1:08 am
Untouched but not Unfelt
Spent years like a husk
now life is kindling again,
purifying from pain
and pleasantly plentiful
The cage of the State
for I traversed the labyrinth of my own mind
So I shall recognise shackles
as a concept,
but be mindful of surrendering control.
Isolate from crowds but not from feelings,
not from unde...
Sunday 22nd March 2020 9:08 pm
Hush now little seedling
Don't be afraid of the dark
You're going to grow and flourish
I'm giving you the best start.
You're going to be so beautiful
and do such wonderous things
You could be a saviour
lets see what summer brings.
It's going to take some time
So be patient through the rain
You're part of a whole forest
Nature's whispering campaign.
Monday 24th February 2020 8:02 pm
The rose recognizes the beauty of the sunflower, all the while self-assured in her own. She does not envy the golden beauty for her appeal to you
She knows better - she has guarded her stem from the likes of your fingers and the fingers of those before you, and the ones that will come after
She knows that while you, selfishly and ignorantly, believe the garden to be created for you...
Saturday 14th December 2019 2:59 pm
Prevented, unplanned, unknown.
4 years later.
3 years old, I can’t imagine,
what it would be like.
I thought it was.
you can love and let go.
For a reason, everything happens, they say.
Believed, I believe it.
You were a lesson.
I would not be who,
Tuesday 26th November 2019 6:48 pm
what used to hurt me
what used to scare me
what used to make me curl up on the floor
shaking to my very core
I am constantly afraid that one day
I will come face to face with my mistakes
a tableau of painful regrets and aches
the times I said I couldn’t when I could
the times I said I wouldn’t when I would
the past stil...
Tuesday 12th November 2019 11:23 pm
There is a pit inside of me
A deep, dark abyss where the negative thoughts grow
“I will fail”
“I cannot do this”
That is why
When I look at you, there is pain behind my eyes
Bleeding onto my cheeks
Staining all that surrounds me
This bubble of safety
Does not always contain it
This is what high functioning looks like
From afar, it is well co...
Tuesday 12th November 2019 8:57 pm
A disingenuous wild wind
that blows through
the withered and weathered
leaves of a life.
A life left puzzling over its roots,
and its new growth,
outstretched limbs bending in the
bowing down to the mighty
twists of stormy blasts
gathering unseen and unheard
all around and about.
Friday 18th October 2019 12:36 pm
We Had a Big Argument Because of Continuing Problems Related to My Mental Illness and I Did Not Have Time to Take a Shower, I Love You and I am Sorry
I am itchy
My scalp is itchy
I cannot stand how itchy it is
My whole body smells
I cannot stand how smelly it is
I feel slimy
My feet and groin feel slimy
I cannot stand how slimy I feel
It is my fault
The whole situation is my fault
I cannot stand how this is my entire fault
I made you upset
I continue to make you upset
I cannot stand how I f...
Wednesday 16th October 2019 1:58 pm
I once made her my home.
I would go there every day.
I memorized the cracks on the walls,
The shadows dancing around flickering lights,
The water leaking through the floor.
I took a walk through haunted hallways where I hung portraits of childhood wounds,
memories of past heartbreaks,
mementos of loss and regret.
But like a child who outgrows her clothes
I no lon...
Tuesday 27th August 2019 10:27 pm
Be more by doing less.
Accomplish more by taking a rest.
Taste more by eating slow.
What seems unlikely
may bring the greatest reward,
as when we treat our adversary
Big weeds grow from a tiny seed.
Infection comes from a small scratch.
Small acts deter disaster.
Humble beginnings can grow into greatness.
The wise one perceives potential...
Thursday 21st February 2019 11:50 pm
Standing your turf
wielding a giant pen.
Power serving words,
determined to win.
Into the net,
out of bounds,
Will you be the
pinnacle of calm
or pull a McEnroe?
Steady your pace
or steamroll every
opponent you face?
Thursday 31st January 2019 6:56 pm
Old wounds have begun to heal.
This new life feels unreal.
The shadow hanging above my soul.
I was once trapped within a role.
The wounded one full of anger
Dragging his worthless anchor.
Behold look into the mirror.
Now gaze upon your own error.
You thought you couldn't stumble
But it's the season to be humble.
No time for embracing illusion.
The former has reach...
Wednesday 17th October 2018 3:35 pm
Others create self-serving expectations
That they thrust upon you with no hesitation.
Always remember you have two choices,
To heed or ignore the many voices.
Most define themselves by what others say,
Resigned to play the games people play.
Sooner or later they will awaken,
Realizing that they’ve been mistaken.
Then a rebirth for all to see.
Some will rejoice, some will...
Thursday 11th October 2018 1:53 pm
You cannot walk the journey for another man.
You cannot gift him with the perfect plan.
We all stand in the universe of our own creation.
A product of our limited expectation.
Many lust for the mantle of wisdom,
Only to create self-serving fiefdoms.
An old story stuck on reset.
What you give, is what you'll beget.
An old story stuck on reset.
What you give, is what ...
Wednesday 10th October 2018 7:45 pm
All the hurt is making me stronger, The deceitful ways help me strive for better days,
I know how it feels not to be loved by your loved ones
I know how it feels to be cold,
Living with no heat, three pairs of socks on my feet,
Still I stay strong in the mist of my storm
Knowing my self worth is better than not knowing at all,
So many stumbles and falls I took to see me,
Monday 18th June 2018 2:56 pm
Your very first
My most important
You held it so tight
I couldn't hold my tears
To make sure you're fed
You in the middle
Across from your neglected crib
Your first steps
Corners were quickly covered
You're getting so big
I always did my very best
Friday 19th January 2018 2:46 pm
is not yet an old soul. Such apprenticeship has not yet begun.
Studiously she watches as you cite your second hand wisdom.
Bested by her innocence, such familiar nostalgia withers like the thick layer of dust it hides beneath.
Shaken and bruised like brine against an ice cube, the vermouth of your ideals is poured into an ill fitting glass.
Left feeling dirty you turn to d...
Saturday 23rd December 2017 6:57 am
A Tumblr picture; my first bikini
In the ocean
I had been so proud, disabled and beautiful
That's when you saw my shine
You reached out like a moth to a flame
Too fast, my love, too fast
One makes mistakes
when no one hesitates
Oh how much you have grown my love
Not only have you become the man I saw all along
You have become the man you have always wanted to be
Tuesday 21st November 2017 1:31 am
Phases. Transitory time patches
Grouped or characterised by a theme.
A shade, a colour, a tangible
And identifiable sameness.
Phase of fashion.
Reflecting an idea.
Perhaps marking self out as distinct.
Separating self from the others.
Friday 11th August 2017 4:53 pm
Your born into a family
No one knows why
Is it souls recconecting
Or random out of the sky
You learn lessons from all
Good and bad
But family is something not everyone has
Some endlessly search with false expectations
And some find love with no altercations.
Open your mind and then you will see
Family is nothing different than a tree
Leaves will come and go while branches will ...
Sunday 5th June 2016 7:42 pm
I've been lied to, setup, used as damage control, taken advantage of. thrown through your ringer and drowned in your crocidile tears. But you never knocked me down. Your sins against me, I wear them as armor.
Monday 8th June 2015 10:57 pm
Flicked flickering sand slices slashes
Pain and anguish portrude pen to paper
Releasing resting relief from crooked corner
Creation creates creativity
Crusty cankers and cracked crevices
Friday 24th October 2014 5:08 pm
Inside her closet are the remains of a broken umbrella with the materials in cinders.
Her skin cloak is draped over a spindley coat stand,
most people name it a spine,
most people's are strong,
They carry the puppet as if a master holding strings...
But sometimes autum's trees fall down
because nature is flawed.
Sometimes a stem ca...
Thursday 9th October 2014 8:19 pm
Is the longest I've been able to go without sex since I was 16
I stood frozen, mind racing a mile a minute
Trembling as the truth set in
I was unable look away
As memories replayed themselves like movies in the mirror
New characters and slightly different scenario in each one,
But the plot was always the same
Has always been the same
Since that time when I was 1...
Monday 7th July 2014 10:41 pm
Tuesday 30th July 2013 11:06 am
Another attempt at my paternal tongue.
Un altro tentativo di mia lingua paterna.
And though I beam with pride as I'm learning.
E anche se mi fascio con orgoglio, come sto imparando.
I'm aware that translated, the metre is wrong.
Sono consapevole del fatto che tradotto, lo strumento è sbagliato.
But this language pulsates to my yearning.
Ma questo linguaggio pu...
Monday 8th April 2013 11:31 pm
In poetry, autumn is approaching death.
The mists of receding memory
part briefly in the shortening days
to feed the fruits of wisdom
to admiring young.
The dark night of winter
is a short blight
before life springs forth
again in proud perfection.
Floral beauty and rich crops
have spread their radiance,
fed their progeny, sown their seeds.
Done their job, returned to earth
Wednesday 16th December 2009 12:08 pm