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Rob Baylis

Thu 4th Feb 2016 23:15

Thanks for your comments Greg. I hope you like the resultant amendment.

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Greg Freeman

Sun 31st Jan 2016 22:49

Welcome to Write Out Loud, Rob. Enjoyed this poem about the ramsons - didn't know that was another name for wild garlic. I like the "star-white flowers" that "burst like fireworks". And if you're looking for feedback, I just stumbled over the phrase "a floating balloon", where the rhythm feels slightly wrong on that line, I thought.

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