Firstly, full marks for the title Gen.

I liked the emotive story, flows really well but as Colin said it could have been chiseled down a bit. Less is more in some cases.

Nice work!

Raj

Comment is about Blue Movie (blog)

Original item by Genevieve

love the title and what you are trying to achieve here Genevieve. I think a bit of trimming down of words and line length could lift this poem to the next level. Thanks for posting, Colin

Comment is about Blue Movie (blog)

Original item by Genevieve