Hi! friend or new reader. My names Nova, I've always been a shy and quiet person but when I write, it's the only time I feel loud and heard. I love nature and collecting crystals. I'm a mother of two and have three pets; a dog, cat, and betta fish. I'm not sure what I'm doing here on this platform but what I do know is I've always loved to write, even from a young age; it was always a place I could turn to when life seemed hard or I need to escape. I felt like finding a creative outlet would be good for me basically a step up from journaling. I love rainy days, chai tea, horror movies and True crime. When I have time to spare I like to read or do embroidery projects. My favorite writers/poets are Walt Whitman, Sylvia Plath, Shakespeare, T.S Elliot, Robert Frost and many, many more!
Honestly? When it comes down to it... It only took one hand stand to open my eyes I never looked at myself like that before I romanticized who I was in present moment I see her I see the pain I hear her sorrow I see the scars Why am I so mean to her? Is it because she's an easy target...? Or maybe it's because she's an easy punching bag...? But as simple as it is to water a flower I wanted/want to be her I want to be the better version of me I see her beauty I see her worth She's not weak She's strong Like the dents on her back She breathes in, to release the hurt in her heart Watching as she continues to grow I see her body, I see her strength Like a chrysalis ready to bloom I wonder...why am I so mean to myself? Soft like rose petals, but sharp like thorns My words, My projections, Hurting Me Like a mirror bouncing back against a dancing flame I see you today I see your growth I see your drive Today I'm only human Today I strive to be the better version of myself Today I forgive my body Today I forgive myself
Silhouettes dancing across my walls Like a shadowed memory of you Sometimes the hurt still creeps up on me Missing the way we touched The way you knew my body better than I knew myself... Dancing silhouettes creating cracks on your walls Slowly they're fading Black unburied lies I'm a memory... maybe I'm not even that Stuck in your room, I have no power Stuck in your room, I'd do anything Stuck in your room, I'd be happy I let you belittle me I let you use me Washing my hands at two A.M in your bathroom sink... I stand there looking at myself In the mirror I know I'll only ever be but a haunting memory I knew I'd be "that girl" I don't think you knew what you were doing with me But somehow I made you feel, somehow I gave you importance; and you liked that... You abused me and drank me right up I knew I'd never be "that girl" "That Girl" you'd bring home But I knew I'd be that secret The one you'd keep until your deathbed Driving back to my place The passenger seat never felt so lonely... Watching the Vegas lights glowing Fiery red against my face... you look at me and for once I feel seen... You looked at me with such bewilderment In that moment I was something more You used me for your art and oh how broken I was... I was so, so broken, and that made you love me I was the leading girl lost in a city filled with drugs and sin, a movie never written Little did I know You'd be the toxicity that would mold me You'd set the bar For the rest of my relationships An obsession A drug The Boys with dark eyes The Boys with broken souls The Boys that are to pretentious I was your broken masterpiece I was the girl you'd release I was... I was that girl...
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