My mom always told me I had an old soul...I've wrote since I was 10. I didn't know how to express everything I had inside. Deep raw.. feelings.
Samples (one of my writings)
There is a star that will not stay dead, that refuses to fade. Stars always burn out. Their light collapses, exhausted.My heart clenches inside the gravity But I am small and the material of my heart aches with the contraction. The stardust were made of seems lost, floating in thoughts around you. It is as consistent and mysterious as cosmic noise. I listen for some understanding. I am confused by the unexplained phenomenon. I study it. I remind myself of the rules, the laws of nature and attraction. The chemistry of nearness. You are my mother. My soul. You should be here. I have tried so hard, but thoughts of you ripple through the expanses. I hoard happiness and laughter. I nurture the world around me. I try and conquer the world as bravely as I can. Big as I can be. Bigger than stars. I cannot be bigger than my heart. In every quiet moment, you are there mom. I wonder when a day will come when my thoughts do not drift towards you in concern as though you are gravity and center itself. But it never fades. A star dancing alone. If I sleep, my dreams betray me. When I wake up I still hear your voice. I am hardly conscious of myself anymore.. I cannot escape the gravity. Instead my aspirations fall into this void that has opened up around your name. All the words swallowed by time and space... How do you bottle an exploding star? I look for you everywhere. I look for places to imollate my heart, cauterize our connection. In all the searching, there is that singularity I cannot find. Home was always you. The thought of you not being here letting me take care of you, is like watching art burn to ash as tinder for some ignorant fire. when you are not here, I feel your absence. Because in feeling your absence, I feel my own. Without you, I wish all the stars and their wishes and wonder upons would die.I miss you so much that it defies the small machinery of my mind. So far away that I cannot see your face or have a conversation. Why do I feel this gravity? There is still so much I do not understand. Like a warrior, I felt strong with you here, And I feel dull and untrue without that fire in me.thru the silence, there in the back, is the echo of you, I am lonely for your voice. And I would give anything to hear it.
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