<Deleted User>

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So Young, So New

So Young, So New

I met you whilst working the reception at church
This is a memory I don't wish to besmirch.
Happily surfing the waves of the web,
In you walked, right into my head.

Sailed into my heart like Napoleon's fleet,
Set it a racing like a Keith Moon drum-beat.
With no panache I find out your name
Armed only with chat-up lines that are utterly lame.

I talk about theatre and the shows that I've seen
The perfect man, it must seem like a dream.
Sat at the bar, later that night
I try to decipher what it is that's in sight.
You're a whirlwind of smiles and longest brown hair
My old heart had better beware.
I plagiarise movies you've not seen, just for something to say
To paint you a picture, to present a bouquet
Love's on its way, it's no time to play.
and you make me feel so young, so new.

So what do I do with this swell in my chest?
I lay it at your feet
I'm your Norman conquest.
You've invaded my land, the white flag is raised
I've done it willingly
The lord's to be praised!

I'm in love for the first time and I don't feel bad,
These are the strangest feelings that I've ever had.
I was conceived for your smile
Your happiness my breath
An end to either could mean only my death

The horizon's before us and no way to know
How this act will unfurl and flow.
The stage is set, the transmission is live
I hear the music to "here comes the bride".

Now this man has more than his far share of faults,
Like Frankenstein's monster, with the nuts and the bolts.
But there is also a heart that aches only for you,
Like an open book,
Transparent,
See-through.
For you make me feel so young, so new.

Give romance
A chance
You don't have to make-do
Let's make you feel
So young
So new


Wed, 1 Aug 2007 04:45 pm
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<Deleted User>

It is me - I am not Anon
Thu, 2 Aug 2007 12:58 pm
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<Deleted User>

So, what do you think Maggie?
Thu, 2 Aug 2007 02:46 pm
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<Deleted User>

about what it says regarding me as a writer?
Thu, 2 Aug 2007 02:47 pm
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<Deleted User>

Hi again Chris,
I don't really think a piece can speak for you as a writer. I think this is a thoughtful piece - but it is only one pice that I have seen I think poets use different moods, tones, techniques and styles and therefore you have to take a collection of work and appraise it before making judgements on the writer and even then it's probably best avoided. I think you should award credit on each piece due to it's merit and try to avoid making assumptions about the person who has penned it. Hope that makes sense.
I understand what you are saying about rhyme and I know my wonderful teacher Matthew Welton taught me to respect rhyme and it's usage but to not overdo it and FORCE the rhyme as he would say, but I don't think you do this - I think Matt would say that rhyme has its place but isd only one technique and you should encompass lots of different ones in your remit and whilst I agree with him and have great respect for him, I would say do what works for you!
Thu, 2 Aug 2007 04:36 pm
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<Deleted User>

Well, she dumped me. It's over.
Fri, 3 Aug 2007 04:07 pm
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tsk you write a decent poem and thats the thanks you get!
Fri, 3 Aug 2007 04:19 pm
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