Young nigga wit a 40 to his head
Hella blunts and hella 40s to his head.
Hella thoughts and hella voices in his head.
Screamin fuck the pain, wishin he was dead.
Can't eat, can't sleep, just layin in his bed.
Gahdamn the pain kills
Drinkin more, poppin pain pills.
& they lyin to you if they say the pain heals.
It was never real if the pain heals.
Used to scream fuck love, chase the bills.
Now a real nigga all up in his feels.
Screamin yo lord what's the deal.
I can't take this any mo'.
The pain never fades and times goin slow.
So I pop another pill, bout my time to go.
Pain is subsiding, I'm Layin on the flo'.
Pulse is slowing down, my eyes start to close.
Legs goin numb, my bodies so cold.
My arms start to tingle, think I'm losin blood flow.
Then I hear a knock, it's my mamma at the doe.
I holla go away mama Imma be alright!
She said are you sure baby? You been in there all night!
I can no longer speak, I'm starting to see the light.
I hear my mama bust in, I can sense her fright.
Cryin as her son dyin, must be a horrific sight.
She screamin at me, swingin at me, holdin on me tight.
All my pain went away but I still don't feel right.
Eyes still closed but I'm gaining back my sight.
Then everything pause and I hear a holy voice.
It's my nana, tellin me I have a choice.
Said she can't wait to see us all and rejoice.
But I don't need to cry right now.
I can end it all right now!
But first I gotta think about it all right now.
Ending my life won't fix a thang.
Ending my life won't end the pain.
The sun will still shine and the clouds will still rain.
I may be free, but the pain will remain.
The thoughts stop, and time pauses again.
Bout 12 o'clock I woke up in the kitchen.
Throwin up, sweating and my body itchin.
My heart was racin and my body twitchin.
Layin there thinking what did I do?!
What jus happened man what do I do?!
I feel no pain yet I still cry.
I'm fucked up and that's sumn I can't deny.
But I think god jus gave me another try.
I crawled to the sink and splashed water on my face.
Praise the lord I've been saved by grace