R U Workin’ Wit Me

Are you workin with me or pushing me away
Let me tell you something I’m here to stay
You see me on the corner and give me that look
Look where your goin cause I don’t give a …..
You look at me the problem, that’s the problem

Don’t you remember when you were my age
Angry with everyone filled with hate and rage
Labelled, ignored or stereotyped were barriers
Where’s correct advice? Its hard I’m telling yers
Bring our times together share problems, be one creed

I’m pissed off being shoved in some convenient corner
Let me tell you something I ain’t Little Jack Horner
Take off my shackles I have things to say and do
Like I’ll let you teach me if you’ll let me teach you
Share the same plot, its both our hood, plant that seed

Each generation needs their freedoms to express
To make their ways through all of societies mess
Remove those barriers that bar us from sharing
Open up our worlds to value not start compairing
Workin together things just might work out first time

Running apart cuts the air turning faces places blue
Starving each other we’ll destroy each other, what’s new
Let’s lay down some tracks and share the same word
Unite the rhythms of the street, fuse the sounds heard
HEY my brother and my sister, are you working with me?

Phil Golding

the problem with this kind of thing is one either agrees with it, disagrees with it or couldn't care less.

Personally, the rhyme brings me out in hives, so I can't even get past the first verse to make a decent comment.

And at least have the conviction of your fucking swearwords.

More unreadable doggeral.

Come on Steven, anyone can be easily dismissive and hurt people - does it make you feel good?

It takes a real talent to provide constructive criticism. You obviously think yourself a cut above the rest of us so why not give some pointers as to what could be done to improve the poem. Come to that let's have a look at one of your poems - you can dish it out but can you take it? On your record so far I think not.

Steven, the problem with your kind of review is that people will either agree with it or disagree.
Personally, your negativity brings me out in hives.
Try been positive for once, its not hard! Or post your own poems up, even better post up your profile so we know who you are. Untill then I don't see why anyone should take you seriously as in my opinion your just a faceless keyboard warrior.

And you were right, you can't make a decent comment.
If you hate our poetry so much, why don't you go back into your little world of what you think poetry should be, and leave us to get on with our poetry.

More purposely antagonistic bile, Steve. You really don't care if your comments wound. Shame on you.

I really like this poem Phil, there is not many - I don't know your age but I assume because of our discussions that you are at least over 30yrs old. There are not many poets who are brave enough to use the words of youth i.e. hood, track.

There are also not many poets who are brave enough to take on Social commentary and to reach out to young people.

I come from a background of working with young people and one of my massive passions is to teach them that poetry is something that they can get into, something they can enjoy and more importantly do and I think your poem and it's rap style is a fine example of how that can be achieved.
As for having the convictions of your swear words I would say the opposite as I have said before and will say again and again your poetry is written from you and for you and if others like it that's a bonus. If you're not comfortable using swear words then don't.
Again it is subjective but at readings I get fed up with well known and considerably well published poets who stick a swear word in for effect and my kids say they should have more control over their use of language if they are 'poets' as my daughter says anyone can F**K!
The above advice about poetry comes courtesy of my hero Lemn Sissay who is very well known poet from Manchester and he has at least five books published, as well as at least five pieces of public art dotted around the area he is the writer in Residence at one of the most prestigous art places in London - I think it might be the Tate (but that doesn't seem right)
Anyhow this guy is the BEST performance poet that I have ever had the pleasure of watching perform and he has a poem where all the way through he goes FK and makes this wicked sound and it's like he almost swears but doesn't - now that's clever! That's what poets should aspire too, breaking away from the norm and the prescribed way of doing things.

As for your comments Steven,
I think you have deliberately set out to be hurtful, Phil is very new to Write Out Loud and harsh comments which are completely unneccessary could have an effect on his confidence and whilst it's impoetant that we all review poems honestly, you have attacked this poor guy just for the sake of it.
Write Out Loud is a supportive and constructive environment for poets old and new, of differing styles, differing experience and differing skill and you should respect that!

Well said Cayn and Paul for sticking up for Phil and his poems, I have reviewd many of Phil's poems and they are a pleasure to read.

Please don't take these viscous comments on board Phil, you are a very welcome part of WOL and long may you stay.
xxx

Hi Cayn

Good points


you can google Steven Waling

personally i think his comments show poor people skills.

I've googled him, very impressive I must say but its still no reason to attack other peoples work.
Everyone on here posts there stuff because they enjoy doing it, people review here because they enjoy reviewing and hope they're comments can help the writer of the poem.
If your not one of these people (and I say this from the heart) then get the hell off the site

I personally think a teacher should know better!

Actually the poem has a strong rap type beat for which the rhyming structure seems completely appropriate to me.

The poem works and I like it. I find the hostility to rhyme quite odd.

I actually like the poem and it sounds like it would be a blast to perform. In fact with Phills permission I might try it out

Should we have a devils advocate on this?


Has Steve got a point and that its just his very cruel presentation of it?

For example, like what ' A Daftie' says it takes skill to be a good constructive critic, so we have stablished Steven has Zero skill at this (at least in the posts here today) but what about his motive and driving points.

Let us look at the poem, he is describing the rythme as 'doggerall' harsh words indeed. Unecassary Steven really as you will just alienate and antogonise. Perhaps you dont care that you do this to yourself. DOnt you understand these people may actually meet you at one of your Manky Poet events or readings? Would you be suprised if they confronted you if at least in an objective way? you encourage response but not response of a tempered nature.

I have looked at the poem and I think the rythme is obvious and predictable to a degree but that does not mean that the core of the poem cant be communicated. It does not mean that it is any less, yes you may find that its not your style but its unfair to hurt people, some people cant take it and it may hinder thier progress. As the Great Maggie Lane points out (and Cayn malc n mox) we are here to encourage and support.

That said when i write a rubbish poem I am fully prepared for the blasting but it hurts every time, theres nothing better than rubbishing yourself becuase you know you are one poem closer to a classic.


I dont like a lot of poetry myself, its like music you cant like it all. Just dont come here if you dont like it.

I dare you to find a poem you like on here

I dare you to tell us your likes on here

I dare you to stop bloomin wailing and cryin

I dare you to write Steve so we can review

As i said to you once before when you tutored me on a poem (forget the thread, but yes you said scrap the Entire piece and keep one line and work round that - I agreed but it hurt, re wrote the poem and you enjoyed it - RESULT!), I would rather speak to you face to face or on the phone, so we arranged to meet and we did. I actually thought you werent too bad (compared to what I was expecting) but then thats often the case with the internet, very easy to get wrong impressions, its why I try to steer away from it. Indeed I have often mis read comments made in innocent jest and spat out my dummie to Julien, Paul and Thomas, my fault my mistake for mis interpretation.OVERLY SENSITIVE AND PARANOID I AM SOMETIMES.

I think to be fair I think we should also apply this benefit of doubt to everyone, I applied it to you and waited till I met in real life, I was glad as I dont like confrontation and we have to cross paths sometimes.

You are obviousley an intelligent person and I wil be cursed no doubt for not laying the boot in, but democracy (if thats what WOL has as policy) must encompass all , just a shame you cant put the criticism or point of view more politely Steven. Philip im sure can take it, I took it when you said scrap my entire poem, it hurt but on that ocassion I thought you were right.

You did however slam my 'Sex cells' I dont think that poem is poetry in the way you would like to see it. It is more frustrated ranting using rythme, rythme many things, its not from your 'stuffy' school (sorry i dont mean to offend by that its the only word that came to mind) however sex cells entertains. I am more an ego centrical entertainer than anything though I think I have the potential to write some really good stuff across the board, and dare I say it, I reckon I could take you on if you showed me the way, though I always get this urge to rebel to entertain to howl to show off to break out to express to be anarchic, is there a place to me in Steves stuffy school? (again not an insult)

the very fact I have given this much time is in itself indicitive

whats the phrase 'would not give them time of day'

Steve, please please learn some people skills. We can all benefit from each other. You are not holier than though, neither am I and neither is Philip.

the only one is ' A daftie' the King.

btw SEX CELLS won the wigan litfest slam.

Thanks to all of you for your support re Steve's comment.

I work in the multi-ethnic comminty of Old Trafford, an area I like to call my second home. This area is considered by many to be a no go area. Yes there is drug, knife and gun culture. Then again they can teach alot of the more affluent areas a thing or two about working for the betterment of their community.

As for Steve's non constructive comments, the views expressed by him are are in a minority of one. I work closely with the Black Minority Ethnice group from Trafford. I have several of my poems being used by youth groups from the area as part of the an overall project I am setting up a'Skills Bank Scheme. Rap music is bing used to enable the message accross to bring Fusion to the area.

Amongst others I have written '8' and 'Death for Rent' aiming to open up dialog, remove barriers. Many are to be acted out. At the grand old age of 46 I do market feedback to ensure the language and phrasiology used hits the mark. Having a 14 and 8 yr old keeps me on my toes.

Other council organisations are expressing interest in my work in this area. Poetry is a medium that all levels can relate to. so can be utilised as one ofthe aids to get a message of any accross.

Thank you all

See you on the 19th

Phil

Doggerel is usually used as a pejorative term to mean a simple rhyme lacking in worthwhile content.

The content of Phil's poem is very strong. Even if you think that its message (of assertion of identity by a person who feels ignored), is too obviously presented for your taste, it is quite simply wrong to describe it as doggerel.

The omission of the obscenity quite obviously relies for its impact on the predictability of the rhyme. This is a technique which has been used for generations to engage an audience and demonstrate some of the humour of the work. Either Steven has completely missed this, which seems unlikely, or he is just deriding the fact that performance poetry can be good light entertainment. If so, it is an unworthy attitude.

There is a lot of value in serious and intense work of quality and it is different from the pieces which rely more on humour and the dramatic personality of the performer to affect their audience. Both are poetry and there is no need for the practitioners of one art to demean the others. There is as big a risk of being pompous and pretentious as there is of being trite and superficial.

My own poetry has been called doggerel. I am quite happy with that, but it is just possible that those who think it to be so should just recognise that it is not what they enjoy.

All power to you, Phil! How many of us can say that our work actually changes anything or anybody for the better, or that our work is truly and passionately representative of our community? We live in tough and fragmented times -- and what you achieve with your work is little short of heroic. What's more, your poems are blessed with a sense of humour, a sense of proportion and a sense of the ridiculous -- none of which detracts from their potency. Have fun at the Howcroft, (more of) your public awaits!

As for constructive feedback i will take it every time. How else might i improve.

Comments structured like Steve's, though hurtful, do not put me off quite the opposite.

Cayn if you would like to perform this poem please drop me a line and take it from there.

Thank you all once again

Phil

Hi Steve

Thought I should look at your poetry.

I liked poem 'mother, which has a nice quality.

I would like to read some more of his poignant, poetry .

Cheers

Phil
.

By the way Lemn Sissay is the writer in residence at the South Bank in London.

xxxx

This is a technique which has been used for generations

- that's supposed to be a recommendation?

This is the 21stcentury not the Victorian age.

Been at the wormwood and vinegar again this weekend?

I'd read it as a statement, not a recommendation.
However, here is a recommendation: say something positive.

I thought you were about to become writer in residence at a prison. British Prisons continue to be organized and run on Victorian, male-centred principles. I know because I’ve been writer in residence at several. How can you align your distaste of the trappings of Victorian legacy and yet opt to work within a blatantly Victorian system? As writer in residence you will be unable to overturn the regime and install a 21st century alternative. You will also be faced by a majority of inmates for whom rap and hip hop – with all the implicit, obvious rhyme schemes -- are their chosen means of communicating feelings and thoughts. Rap and hip hop, with their obvious rhyme schemes are, I would suggest, late 20th/21st century cultural phenomena. You won't be able to import the attitude you've shown on WOL into the prison environment without creating conflict. Then again, I don't think you will react in such an antagonistic manner because you're a writer with considerable experience. However, that leads me to ask why you can't show the same ability to discriminate between what is appropriate and in context on WOL, and what is pure antagonistic, and often hurtful, glaringly out of place bluster?

"Lemn Sissay, Simon Armitage, Peter Crompton, Alabaster De Plume, Scott Devon, Cayn White, Shaun Fallows, Gordon Zola, Moxy Casimir, Paul Blackburn, Julian Jordan, Dave Morgan, Val Cook and Melanie Rees"

Do forgive the way I've been speaking. I've been irritable for days, due to pains in my foot and my hand, and probably an attack of depression.

Some of those names I don't know. But Simon Armitage revolutionary? Come off it. He's as middlebrow as Larkin. Perfectly nice, perfectly unobjectionable. Lemn Sissay - I like, but again not revolutionary. Certainly not formally radical - unlike, say. Amiri Barka in his heyday or June Jordan. Gordon Zola - revolutionary? The cheese poet? He's quite funny when he's not hogging the stage. He has, of course, the requisite left-wing views; but that doesn't make you revolutionary. Appollinaire, Andre Breton, Alan Gisburg were revolutionary, because they changed the way poetry was written. Writing a rhyming poem doesn't make you revolutionary. Not unless you think Kipling was a revolutionary.

Pete Crompton's got something going for him. Alabaster de Plume - again, good performer, but what's he doing that the Liverpool poets didn't already do? I can't speak for the rest of you. Maybe I read too much poetry over the years; it's like listen to indie music: I keep getting reminded of something I heard 20, 15, 10 years ago.

It's not enough to trumpet working-class origins, I'm as working-class as the rest of you - what are you doing that's different from before? In the 19th century, working-class poets & artists were always 50 years behind the rest of the art world, because of access mainly. Now maybe the gap has narrowed to 20 years. But it's still behind when it should be forward.

As for rap & rhyme, granted, they go together; though it might be interesting if you experimented with what you can do with it? Stretched the form a little, or even to breaking-point? That's what Mike Skinner does, at his best.

And I still stand by what I said about standing by your swearwords. Leaving them out just makes you sound like a '70's club comedian. It wasn't funny then and it ain't now. Do you really think Lenny Bruce would leave out the swearwords?

Where are the poetic equivalents of Lenny Bruce & Bill Hicks, by the way?

I'm not talking about their writings yes some of the people I mention write incredible poetry! You are right Peter Crompton has got something going for him. I saw that spark the first time I saw him perform I have been to hundreds of readings and yet Peter is the second best performance poet I've seen. The first being Lemn. It's not about the writing though of course the beauty of their writing is exceptional. It's about the fire, and passion with which they deliver their work. One of these guys on first meeting him you told him his whole poem bar one line was crap! Now this could have completely blown his confidence and you could have cost the world of poetry an incredible performer but more importantly a wonderful poet!
With the greatest respect Steven as I appreciate that you have tempered your response what gives you the right to make these attacks and attacks are what they are!
Theses guys all the ones I have named have revolutionised poetry as it is no longer, just for the very well educated! The techniques no longer have to be rigidly set in stone.
You may not like people leaving swear words out of their poems but some of us do, some of us don't appreciate swearing and don't think it is clever to fill a poem with them or just stick in the odd one for effect. The whole point of poetry as Randal said last night is that it is subjective. I adore Percy Byshe Shelley - My very wise and clever poetry teacher can't stand him, he loves Frank O'hara and I can't see what he sees in him.
Incidentally I think Kipling was a very good writer, I like what Gordon does as he makes poetry something every body can be part of - you should try to be more open minded Steven. I have seen Gordon read one of the most beautiful poems Brother verse Brother on the Battlefield, I've ever had the pleasure of hearing.
Nobody is criicizing you for your personal taste and I think it is refreshing when a fellow poet is honest about my work as Cayn was with me about my poem Your A to Z of lovers, it's the way that you do it. You are a teacher Steven think about it like this if you have a sunflower which has started to shoot up and is bending to far to side and drooping, you get a cane and you tie it to the flower the flower does not like being restricted and it hurts, but surely if you take the cane and beat the flower you will merely destroy it and be left with mud. I hope you don't find this analogy to patronizing, you are obviously very learned and experienced in poetry and I think developing poets could prosper from your opinion, depending on how it is given.
I have to disagreee about Lemn he made poetry into a form of rock and roll a very long time ago before other people cottoned onto the notion and he has had a massive impact on the poetry world - people often criticize Lemn and say he is arrogant but if you bother to look under the shell of the man you will find that he is actually very learned, he has studied poetry for over twenty years and his poems are often multi layered. I will not defend him anymore as I do not need to his rise in the poetry world speaks for itself and the monuments that exhalt him in his home town.
Thank you for having the courtesy to reply to my comments and I should apologize also as my previous comment was an attack on your character. The fact that I question how you react to people is very hypocritical of me, if I am the going to go onto attack a fellow poet.

"Incidentally I think Kipling was a very good writer"

Of course he was, just not exactly revolutionary or in anyway radical. You can be a perfectly good poet without in the least being radical. But there's something rather self-deluding about thinking you're radical and new when you're using the techniques of a hoary old imperialist like Kipling.

Personally, I prefer "Two Little Boys With Two Little Toys" to Gordon Zola's version.... (I'm joking...)

Lemn, who probably has read Amiri Baraka (and if you haven't yet, you really must) probably is realistic enough not to class himself in the same league as one of the leading lights of Civil Rights poetry in America... but maybe in the moribund world of mainstream British poetry he seemed radical at the time. Compared to Craig Raine he's positively anarchistic...

...but it's not exactly difficult to be more exciting than Craig Raine. :)

I'm thinking of giving up using hoary old words, they're so passe. Instead I'm going for a much more new and modern concept of post modern runic-hieroglyphs couple with deconstructed vegetables as metaphoric icons.
Unfortunately I haven't got a keyboard to communicate the sheer excitement of this new poetry - perhaps you can help Moxy.

"I'm thinking of giving up using hoary old words"

Been done. The John Rylands Library on Deansgate has a fine selection of the typewriter poems of dsh if you want to investigate further...

...then of course there's the inimitable Bob Cobbing, who claimed to be able to perform even the poems that seemed furthest away from actual words & sense...

or there's Peter Finch... and the concrete poets of Brazil...

Whatever daft idea you might want to come up with has probably already been done, probably in the '60's, or the '20's (Dadaist sound poetry anyone?)

Check out Fluxus and the Situationist International.

Steven, did you ever hear of irony?

Isn't that where you have to press your shirts for interviews?

Actually, I just thought I'd add some information that people might want to follow up...

I've just discovered too that Fluxus apparently still exists... Come in Yoko Ono, the water's lovely... though it's made of cheese.

I've got over my coniption, by the way

Steve, you seem to be saying:
Innovate, innovate! You can't innovate. It's all been done before. Where are all the innovators?

Why do you hanker after new forms when the substance of your argument is that they are now impossible to achieve? Or is that you believe the people you are addressing are so lacklustre they are never going to achieve complete and radical innovation, so you can berate/taunt them with what you see as their deficiency?
Oddly enough, your comments have a villanelle quality to them: a fugal shape, too.
As I've said before, perhaps we need to impose NPOV here: and I repeat, you would never have an entry accepted by Wikipedia. Oh, but would you want to?

And here's my reply in Ogham:

I=_ F

Except when I'm in the pit of one of my depressions, I don't think they're all lacklustre. You can be a perfectly fine poet and not innovate at all, and a poet who does nothing for me can be very special for someone else. Shakespeare was probably more innovative than Marlowe in his use of the iambic pentameter, but that doesn't make Marlowe any less of a good poet/dramatist.

But if innovation means anything, it surely ought to mean stretching yourself to the limit of what you you think you can do, then going one step further.

And I don't think it's all been done before so there's no point trying: there are even new innovative forms such as flarf that could only come about with new technology. In my best mood, this very diversity is something I celebrate. When I'm in one of my moods, it's all rubbish, of course; but then I can't look at my own work with any objectivity either. I'm either the only genius on the planet, or I'm the worst poet in the universe.

But then if I didn't have that sense of disatisfaction with things as they are, especially in my own work, I'd only end up repeating myself. And that would be worse, in the long run.

Steven,
I think we will have to agree to disagree - as far as I'm concerned Lemn's background, the fact that he was a young poor black man, who had no family in this country, no obvious higher education pitted himself against a bunch of very learned, white, middle class men (mostly) and you know what the boy because let us please remember he was only a boy at the time - challenged every one of his contemporaries with his unique style, he had many books published - yes sir the big deal poor white woman JK Rowling.(who wasn't that poor judging by her standard of education) get's published by Boombury one of the top publishers in the 1990's.
Hello Lemn did this long before her - but nobody want's to pay it any attention 'it's obviously positive discrimination' the clique say - No my friend there is no such thing as positive discrimination, the fact is the boy was a better writer, he was more thoughtful, he was more open to ideas and he was HONEST! Which is something that is seriously lacking. I owe my very existence in the creative writing world to Lemn Sissay because he showed me and others that we could make a difference with words, that they were important, that we could get our message across, that poetry was something we could and should enjoy, that my friend is REVOLUTIONARY! This is something I have found to be seriously lacking in a poetry world where often, the more obnoxious and pompous you can be the greater you respected i.e. Ezra Pound until I discovered WOL and found poetry people who I'm actually proud to stand alongside and be counted.

You don't need a BA or an MA, you don't need to be up your arse with all the information you know - arguing on a thread with a majority of people who work bloody hard to keep poetry alive for the man in the street. Like Peter who works like a horse lugging machines about all day, rushes home quickly gets ready dragging his bag of poems with him, no time to plan, no time to ponder, straight into a gig were more often than not he's electrifying because of the passion behind his persona, the enjoyment he gets from sharing his gift with the people, then he goes home wired and writes more poetry does he keep it to himself? No again he shares it with his peers, respects and admires their opinion! He could easily be a published poet if he chose to go in that direction but he doesn't because he enjoys sharing the beauty of language with people. Dave, Julian and Paul run this wonderful group and this wonderful site for the same reason for the love of poetry and taking it out to the streets and the ordinary folks who perhaps can't afford to be as learned as you.

And another thing instead of prodding us, why don't you revolutionize poetry yourself instead of expecting others to do it!

Ogham again:

t B

Steven, my taste is massively eclectic I can talk to my good friend Cayn on this thread all night about various punk bands that I have liked or don't like, I love Opera my friends and family don't understand it, or my love of it - I equally love rock and roll and have been criticized all my life for my love of Elvis due to my age I'm 31yrs old. I also love Jazz my daughter plays the trombone and my other daughter plays the violin - they also play Drums, guitar and keyboard and are incredibly good at drawing because they've been brought up to appreciate art, this is because I have brought them up this way and that is why I'm so grateful to Lemn I see how much easier it is for my daughters than it was for Lemn. Lemn had the courage to grab hold of a world that he was completely excluded from and to make it his own - that's what I call revolutionary! People think Ezra Pound revolutionized western poetry because he went away and nicked eastern techniques and mutated them, same as Shakespeare did with the Petrachan sonnet but what did they do to feed the minds of people who could scarce afford to feed their bellies nothing! Lemn could quite easily have pretended to be from a middle class background, to have kept his pain and his demons to himself but he didn't he shared it with the world and the truth is that slowed down his escalation in the poetry world more than anything else! Thankfully he is now being recognised for his quality but perhaps more importantly many people whom he has inspired are now doing the inspiring.
I have never really seen the fascination with Pound whilst I agre that he wrote some fine poetry and stretched himself incredibly with the Canto's I don't see why Shelley is not exhalted for the translations he produced from Latin and Greek and my theory is that Shelley stood outside the circle whilst Pound stood within, yes I appreciate Shelley was born into it - but he pulled himself away from it, possibly a reversal of the Lemn sissay story.
My point is not about class or wealth, my background is in children's rights I have worked with children and young people who have been so badly abused, scarred for life emotionally by the things that have been done to them at the hands of their parents, foster parents, carers and society but never have I been more frightened and or disturbed than when I did a series of workshops for young people in boarding schools and these kids 14 and 15 years of age, had no identity, no ideas that were there own - they were like brainless clones.
Maybe you don't like stand up and maybe you haven't got the personality to do that kind of gig - but why insullt someone else's style so ferrociously!
I'm not a performer Steven, I'm a poet - I don't go to a lot of gigs because of my personal circumstances, and if I had the opportunity to go to every gig - I probably wouldn't because it's not my world, I've not been involved with it long enough to know whether or not I would like it to be, I know there are people who go from gig to gig performing - they get something out of it and so they should they work bloody hard. I don't get anything out of performing - I don't hate it and I don't love it. I can take it or leave it.
It's enough for me to share this wonderful world of creativity, I think myself lucky that I can write, that I have the talent, the ability and the tools to do it with and also the freedom which has not always been enjoyed by women.
For many people writing is a release and everybody what ever their age, background, coluor, creed etc etc should be entitled to do that, also nobody is born a great writer Steven people learn and develop people might start off with easy rhyme schemes and then move onto a different way of doing things, that's not to say easy rhyme can't be used by more developed poets look at Shakespear and Shelley.
I appreciate you feel that you are frustrated as you don't feel you are getting what you want out of poetry - but it will come along if you allow people to develop at their own pace.

(Door Opens) Sorry - just passing through. Sorry... SORRY...carry on...sorry. (Door shuts).

Hello Darren,
how are you?

xxx

Oh, Hi Maggie. I thought I was being quiet. I invested heavily in a pair of 'Stealth Slippers'. Perhaps I should take them back and demand an audience with Marcel Marseau. I don't want to intrude, I was only passing through. It's a shortcut to the 'Wonderland' link and as my fuel ink gauge is flashing empty, I thought it best.
Couldn't help but notice some of the comments on here though. I absailed down the thread a little and was a little surprised by some of the 'entries' that have been submitted or, at least, in the way in which they appear to 'come across'.
For what it's worth, if i can just get my canistor of 'smoke opinion' out of my utility belt. Hold on...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
and that's really all i have to say about it. I hope i didn't offend anyone. Now if you don't mind - i have Roget's works to rewrite in the style of Philip Larkin.
I love Larkin - he's such a miserable women.

Sorry - but there appears to be a technical fault when i spray my 'opinion smoke'. It makes things bigger. Is there a technician in the house or better still my mistress/mattress they're all the same.
Now Darren, run...

I'd run after a comment like that as well honey, hope your mistress smothers you with her matress.lol
Could be a good way to go though.
You can abseil down my thread anyday honey!
I quite like Larkin, I met him at my Uni, he's a very funny man in person much like Alan Bennet. I think it's all a question of perception. Like Blake says "...when we open perceptions doors, we see all of heaven..."

I think I'll see if Iris will let me in next door, I'm sure it's much more fun.

xxx

Knowing that Maggie is a Shelley fan, I thought I'd post a tribute poem I've just discovered myself, by the late American poet Barbara Guest:


SHELLEY IN THE NAVY-COLORED CHAIR



I sit so close to him, our minds entwine

I assume his stewardship through the cold and mist.



There is no other beauty with which he is equipped.

The pain, the exclamation!



Early morning when the tide lowers

and we manipulate our choices.

To see, to feel, to engender memory

of this place where Shelley walked.



He is near.

He breathes into the alphabet I found upon my chair.



A dissertation they brought me, exclaiming why

he failed to ride the unswept sea, and like

a nautilus drowned in heavy seas, windswept

like the alphabet he enriched.

Each day a chambered nautilus near my chair.



To add more stanzas to this alphabet

is the view Shelley takes.

More haste and less worry in the words gathered around him.

A light gleaming over their shoulder,

before the ecclesiastic wonder breaks out

into praise for words he gathered,

pearls surround the armchair.

Thank you Steven, that was very kind of you.

Steven I am certainly not as widely read like your good self or an inspirational writer performer and writer like Peter Crompton, but I know what I like. I am more your ‘Compilation’ poetry reader.

Whether you are a writer, reader or performer poetry comes from the heart. Think outside the box and let inspiration come from that social comment within. Embrace each poetic moment, which is there to be had. Become be part of everyday life and seek that commonality using words to bridge not divide.

All poets have as their tool, a weapon that is the most powerful none to man. I have much to learn, but in reality we are all teachers and pupils.

The heart is a muscle. It pumps blood round the body.

Your feelings, your ideas, your reasoning are all functions of the brain. Different parts of the brain, but still the brain.

I always write from feelings, ideas, reasoning all mixed up together in a big stew. Poetry as goulash. Discuss.

Can we have a vegetarian Goulash please?


xxxx

Voice of my mother, stage right:

"You'll have what you're given."

'Course you can, I'll make it with tofu just for you...

Thank you my honey, you are very good to me.

xxxx

I would rather have a Lancashire Hotpot. A Hog Pog of emotion,satire,humour,social comment and a dash of exotica.

OOps ! I ment Hodge Podge.

hi Steve

The functionallity from whence feelings come from i feel split hairs.

With regard to a mixture you are not 100% correct, An idea for a poem may step from a single thought and remain focussed. In terms of food a fine steak.

Poetry is hear and now it is tomorrow an echo of your soul. It lives and for me a poets style needs flexibility.

discuss

regards

Phil

Writing

My dear Brothers & Sisters
I ask you all to write a Journal,
not a Diary, no, not a linear tale,
what are needed are words, just words;
descriptions, bon mots, your thoughts.

The aim, my fellow Humanes,
is for me to read through them, read through them all,
maybe take the piss, maybe be staggered at your eloquence,
and then, put them together with my own thoughts,
gathering them in a book, creating
a commentary on the purpose of our existence.

Of course, that can’t happen at this precise moment,
my brain has properly fumed to mash with the latest
killings, rapings, murderings, state sanctioned exterminations;,
all the usual stuff of the base human condition,
and besides, physically, I am still in a coma.

So, dear, Brothers, Sisters, Colleagues, March-Meanderers of the Left,
write your reflective passages of daily joy and anguish,
write them for each other to read and congest -

Why?

Oh, the why question again. No trust in simple request anymore
too much of a perceived agenda; “what”, you demand “do you want from me?”
Well, firstly, to return back to the stanza and signify.


We, you and I, man and womankind, used to be close,
fear-sharers, nurture-mongers and lovers of the flesh,
but now, we don’t know each other, not even when our dwellings abutt,
in fact, we go out of our way to avoid contact and courtesy,
this, dear Brothers and Sisters, is the raison d'être to my literary call.

To clarify and re-iterate and be crystal clear,
Let’s communicate, or rather, let you communicate with each other,
as I say, my grey matter is mush inside a body wrecked by
nails and rivets and washers and all manner of manufactured detritus
recently explored and expounded upon in detailed news reporting
of OUTRAGE, TERROR and DOGMA.

Yes, yes, let’s take up our pens and write to each other
communicate our joy at the simple things of life such as;
a lick of chocolate on a biscuit of wheat and oat,
the questioning smile of a baby to its mother when strange adults surround and coo,
an arm falling somehow behind a lovers back on a first date in the cinema,
pushing a partner in a wheelchair along a forest path
where squirrels bound and leap and steal acorns and birdseed,
rising and falling as one whether it be dancing and singing to rock music
or rising and falling as one before the Cenotaph
lest we forget

all things, all good things of human existence,
compassion, love, caring, love neighbour and stranger alike,
my dear Brothers & Sisters, I ask you all to write,
to keep and share the journals of our short, hectic, yet joyful lives.

Write, my society, your society, their society,
and if you cannot write, then tell others, tell the oral history,
let that fill the books, let that fill the air, let neurons spark and flare,
let the extra-ordinary miracle of ordinary life surround and encompass us all,
let the sharp edges of the flat world circumnavigate and round,
let there be peace, and tranquillity and calm,
then I’ll be happy enough for them to turn my ventilator off,
knowing everything is now going to be alright –

until then, though violence and pain have maimed and scarred me,
I will scramble and scrap, and hold on with tenacious fingertips,
wishing and making true, with all my heart, change,
we are human, we are capable of choice, and in the end,
I am sure and I am confident, we will choose to be good,
we will choose to be content, we will choose love.