Hey guys, Moxy, Cayn, Peter and Julian hope you don't mind but I have polished up my profile in an attempt to find myself a prince as Peter keeps gloating, he has a love life and I don't boohoo.

So here's hoping - no seriously an agent will do, no I'm being silly again anyway the reason this thread concerns you guys is because I have used what you guys have said about me or my work (perhaps out of context - so I thought I'd best warn you in case you want to sue - I have no money, but you can split the kids, the dog and the cats between you oh and one ex husband.)

I don't know what goes on in your mind mum!
HeeHee! No, really, your a brilliant poet!

Nic.
xxx xxx
xxx.

I am assuming Nicole is getting extra pocket money for that comment lol!
And yes feel free to use any of my comments, I'm honoured someone actually thinks they're suitable for public use!

Well of course I've kept all of your saucy comments private Snookums, though I am contemplating making a found poem out of them for the thread - but not sure I'm allowed to air that kind of material on here!

Magi
xxx

Oooh! Saucy messages! Must know! Must know! Tell me more! And Cayn, if your offering, you can give me more money if you want to?!
PLEASE!!!

Nic.
xxx xxx
xxx.

Hold on,
Saucy messages!?
More money!?
This is starting to soundlike a mother/daughter blackmail ploy!
The only messages considered saucy is when I'm talking about HP :(

Hello Maggie,
I do like your new profile: it's flipping glamorous.
Hello Cayn and Nic. Yes, you are both flipping glamorous, too.

Thank you Moxy, that is very kind of you to say so.

Cayn you have discovered our secret ploy and what about poor ketchup, and daddy's they are very upset you do not feel at liberty to discuss your love for them publicly.

I did warn them that you have been refusing to declare your love openly for a long time now but they wouldn't believe me, you know these sauce bottles are all the same they think they will entice you with their curves and once you've stroked their elegant necks and tasted their sweetness, then of course they think they have you hooked and you'll do anything they want you to do! Silly sauces.lol

See everybody I'm exchanging saucy messages with the gorgeous Cayn White aka Everybodies Favourite Drunken Ginger Poet! You heard it here first.lol

I have problems with the word 'ketchup.' It conjours a sampan that looks a bit like Sydney Opera House and yet it is that distinct red of the Japanese flag -- and then I remember how some historians have said that the major events to affect a nation are often, somewhat mysteriously, predicted by their flags, Japan has a blazing sun -- Japan had what was in essence, several blazing suns dropped on it -- the first, Little Boy, dropped by the Enola Gay. I can't eat tomato ketchup without feeling that my mouth is being seared -- but then I think that the lining of mouth is the only part of the body where the cells regenerate after being wounded without leaving scar tissue.
As for Daddy's Sauce -- the mottled brown consistancy makes me think of a disturbed marsh or peat bog after someone has sunk in it -- a kind of moorland digestive reflux or brackish grave lid. The black and white photo of Big Ben on the slightly turquoise-stained blue background has always confused me.I can't reconcile what the bottle's saying -- yes the bottle, minus the neck, is Big Ben columnish and I get a picture of a post war 1940s canteen with pieces of gum left by the tape criss-crossed on windows to prevnt windows shattering into lacerating shards.
So, no sauce for me thank you!

Moxy there is a madness to you that both alarms and entices me my dear! sampan is a very beautiful word - I must go and find a use for it.

xxx

The word 'Sampan' is rather shut sound, isn't it -- it also always conjurs the smell and texture of sandalwood/metalic odour of carved bones and ground pigments, and the feeling of gelatinous waterlogged rope... but the image is so rising sun-red it feels apocalyptic. Odd how I get a Japanese and Chinese conflation and some Australian, too. And all embedded in 'ketchup.' Maybe it's the 'ketch' ? But, yes, get the sampan into a poem, Maggie. Maybe we should introduce sampans onto British canals?

Sampan


Where is your pan Sam
Where is your pan.
Cook if you can Sam
in your Sam pan.

We must now cetch up
for we are behind
so go get your pan Sam
cetch up with Sam pan.

Don't use the ketchup
rough red relish wrong Sam.
Just pull the ketch up,
while I load your Sam pan

We cook finest flavours,
aromas alluring. The smell
from the Sam pan
waft at the sampan.

With sails on the ketch up
we quickly can cetch up
and no nasty ketchup
to spoil the day.

Soon overhauling
the crew are all falling
out of the smapn
and into Sam pan.

Burping and belching
slipping and squelching
they fall on the ketch up
quite noodled away.

Down went the sampan
sweet sandalwood sampan.
Up tipped the Sam pan,
the ketch up end sank.

What comes from this story,
so horrid and gory,
is eat chips and ketchup
at home without Sam.

Malpoet Saunders, I hereby confer upon you the title of Official International Radio Active Sampan Japanese Flag and Condiment Poet, a title for which you will receive the gratuity of a barrel of egg noodles and a barrel of gunpowder tea annually on the anniversary of your appointment. Now sew these sachets of sauce onto your shoulders as the insignia epaulettes of your elevation.
And Maggie, I hereby confer upon you the title of Empress of Kind Comments, for which you will have your pick of floral headgear, including items from my new hedge-hat (complete with fully thriving ecology) range.

Thanks Moxy, I will glory in the title and the regalia.

that smapn was a sampan.

Ooh I get to wear a flowery headdess yeah! What a wonderful poem - poor Sam.lol.x