Feedback greatly received


Will you recognise me
when I come home from war?
will you want to sleep beside me
like you wanted to before?
will your arms entwine me
and keep the nightmares from my door ?
will you help me to walk
when I'm too weak to crawl?
will your love enrich me
when I am feeling poor?

My eyes can still see your beauty
my ears still hear your voice
my skin still longs for tenderness
although it's too tender to touch
I still need to feel you want me
but maybe not how much
My eyes still fill with tears
at the sights I still recall
My ears still ring with the horrors
of this bloody charade called war

The doctors do their best
to keep my spirits high
but it's not really easy
when you wish that you could die
I'm stuck in here with all these tubes
I see the pity in their eyes
and yet they say I'm lucky,
Lucky to be alive?
Sun, 18 Mar 2018 04:33 pm
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Hello Nik,
and a second welcome to WOL

You might find that posting your work on the blog section is a more effective way of getting feedback. For some reason this discussion section seems to be more applicable to more specific themes.

Additionally, it's always a good idea (albeit not compulsory) to post regularly but not all in one go as each of your poems will be archived under your last entry. They can still be read but often it is only the one that is shown in length that gets feedback.


Mon, 19 Mar 2018 10:05 am
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