Hi Joe -- what a heart-rending ballad you wrote about Big Sam. You inspired me to try my hand. Here's my little soccer ditty.
FORETOLD IN A PIE

From Reebok ter towerblock, Bolton could n'er suffice
For boulder-bellied, sandbag-hipped, Samuel Allardyce
Then came a Nor' Easterly, blew once, and then blew twice
The winds of loose change tinkled till they met Sam's asking price
They placed before his shining eyes, gravy, chips and peas and pies
And when Big Sam put in the knife, out careered the Tyne Magpies