Feedback please..

Hi I would like some feedback on my first poem I have written. Good bad I don’t care just like some opinions. So here it is

Curiosity Killed The Cat

Curiosity killed the cat
Is it simply that, I am a cat
Curious about all that is dark
Curious about the other side
Cats have nine lives
I have one

My curiosity is persistent
Like a consciousness telling me
To breakfree from my struggle
And find out what is after life

I’m searching for answers
Reasons why I am so angry & sadend
While I stay in the realm of living
I feel I will be in constant search
Searching for what, I do not know
Masking my pain with devils snow

So many questions
Not many answers
Curiosity killed the cat

Please leave me some feedback and thanks for reading

Wed, 10 Jan 2018 08:00 am
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Well, Ricky, this is raw, even naive, but it is interesting. Mostly because it is so universal, and 'universal' is really essential to draw in the attention of readers. So your topic, the 'possibility/kind' of an after-life is well chosen. As is the insatiable need of poets to explore the 'depth' of things, all things, especially in quirky ways.

The use of such a humorous comparison is also a good technique to interest readers.

The levity of your comparison seems a mask to cover a real death wish. But the fact that you're voicing it with some lightness of touch probably indicates a strong will to live and explore the huge potentials of yourself. There's no greater goal of living than self-exploration and eloquent sharing - the boon/the cross of all artists in every medium.

Keep writing. And remember that you don't have to post everything. Keep a notebook and jot down your thoughts every day. Then weed out the best, redo them with greater attention; connect them up and you've likely got a really good poem worth sharing.

Thu, 11 Jan 2018 02:22 pm
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