The metaphor 'thin as Bible leaf' is very good. I knew exactly what you meant,even though disagreeing that all Bibles are thin-leafed. These days most are.
Consider: 'dust mites - millions' because it echoes the four-beat line prededing it, and doesn't trip over 'of' which, IMO, is often a 'trap' word in poetry. Just a thought.
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Cynthia Buell Thomas
Sat 24th May 2014 16:21
Good poem - but are you sure of your conclusion?
The metaphor 'thin as Bible leaf' is very good. I knew exactly what you meant,even though disagreeing that all Bibles are thin-leafed. These days most are.
Consider: 'dust mites - millions' because it echoes the four-beat line prededing it, and doesn't trip over 'of' which, IMO, is often a 'trap' word in poetry. Just a thought.
Comment is about In the Temples of the Elders (blog)
Original item by David Blake