LAURA,

I like the way the deep breath taken, deliberate, stanza form adds so powerfully to the passion and sincerity of this.

Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Thought about it, grew to really like it, have changed it. Thanks Cynth and Darren!

Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hmm, aye *scratches chin* may well work that Cynth, ta!

Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

It sings - with great poetic skill.

Darren's point is excellent. So is yours. Perhaps you could combine the two. I think it works really well - honours the 'homage' idea and yet avoids a direct 'copy' effect that does jar your own line.

'May your flame spark gently in sunset tonight - unsurpassed.'

Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Thanks Dave and Andy :)

Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

this deserved to get published, Laura. it's a excellently wrote tribute

Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

A fitting tribute from one passionate poet to another

Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Look forward to hearing it when I finally get out of my tortoise box !

Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Thank you Darren :)

The 'unsurpassed' was taken from these lines from one of John's poems:

“There’s something, that defies this desecration/a sunset unsurpassed.”

which was published in an anthology called Workers City: The Real Glasgow Stands Up

and I felt it was just right to put it in there.

Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

I can hear you saying this poem aloud Laura. I feel that the word 'unsurpassed' in the last line may actually spoil the natural flow of a Voice' s inflection, which in itself would reflect the sorrow absorbed from the words. It seems to glide effortlessly to a conclusion with just 'may your flame spark gently in sunset tonight'?

It's a beautiful, poignant piece of writing. :)

Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Thanks Ged :)

I have become known for my rants, but actually, I write non-ranty stuff far more than I do rants!

This has been published today on Poetry24, which is also lovely - a poet commemorating a fellow poet, on a poetry site :)

I like to think this would have pleased him greatly :)

Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Lovely last first, it carries its own momentum when read, going faster and faster and then finished off with such a delicate line following a natural pause.

Brilliant as always, as much as I love your rants, I prefer this more delicate style of writing from you that I have seen lately it flows so well and is still very powerful in its own right.

That said dont stop ranting!

I think what I love most about this is the way it naturally moves to a faster pace as you move through the lone.

Also... just to add...this line

'remember the heat of your heart'

What a line, brilliant.

A big salute to you yet again

Jelly Tots XXXXXXXXX

Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor