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Fri 27th Apr 2012 10:29
Hi Noetic, have added further comments to ECHOES. Many thanks for sharing.
Comment is about Noetic-fret! (poet profile)
Original item by Noetic-fret!
Fri 27th Apr 2012 10:27
Can you email me the original text and I'll see if I can do something. Good idea about seeing everyone's different interpretation!
Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes
Fri 27th Apr 2012 10:25
Hi Noetic, Irish Guards myself with part-time service in other wings thereafter. This poem motivated by a recent reunion of sorts and tour of the old grounds at Pirbright.
Delight was in finding the ancient buildings renovated but mothballed so to speak, waiting for the next national emergency.
If only those walls could speak. Thanks for commenting.
Comment is about ECHOES. (blog)
Original item by Philipos
Fri 27th Apr 2012 10:23
Hi Graham. re M> ilk, Yes I do :-). In this case take a short poem and change every word to an antonym or at least an approximation to one. You may then have to change things after this first attempt to make the poem make some sense or make it more interesting or 'poetic'. The result canot then be traced to the original. It would be interesting for a few of us to have a go at this experiment on the same piece of text and see what the outcome is. (might set it up as a blog). Have a go. Win
Comment is about Graham Sherwood (poet profile)
Original item by Graham Sherwood
Fri 27th Apr 2012 09:53
Chilling indeed! Hard hitting and well written xx
Comment is about Mill stone (blog)
Fri 27th Apr 2012 09:34
Thanks everyone :) Glad you enjoyed the review too - was really lovely to actually get to see inside Haigh Hall, and the choir were fantastic :)
Comment is about That poetry podium feeling: Greenheart prize-winner Laura on a grand night out (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Fri 27th Apr 2012 08:24
Thanks CYnthia for the generous comment on Pilgrims.
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Thu 26th Apr 2012 23:24
There is a lot that speaks of choking here Marrianne, and you mention tectonic kisses too. Is this reference a run perhaps. Strokes of Silver, water perhaps. It is good nonetheless.
How did your run go Marrianne?
I am keen to know how well you did (although anyone who has the guts to attempt such a challenge has already done well).
I just hope it was a great day for you.
Comment is about Spores (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Thu 26th Apr 2012 23:08
I can almost here the Regimental Police myself, or the MPSC (Military Provos Staff Colchester) ringing out time. I am an ex military man myself, and know the Regimental Policemen well. Spent some long hours on Restrictions of Privileges and a night or two in the cells. It goes with the territory of being a soldier unfortunately.
I like this poem. I can almost sense you have some military experience yourself. Except, in my Corps we would call out - Deft-Dite-Deft-Dite etc etc etc.
Thu 26th Apr 2012 23:02
There's another 24 verses to that one Mike
All the best
Comment is about Words Escape Me (blog)
Original item by Words Escape Me
Thu 26th Apr 2012 23:00
Aye Man Jonathan,
there is much more you could have said - no doubt about that. I like the poem but think you could tweak it a lil bit better, give it more guts and no holding back, really get the energy into a great deal of decay that is happening in our society.
Best wishes, Mike.
Thu 26th Apr 2012 22:19
hi.......excellent religious piece of poetry.....i love the repetition, and parallelism in this poem which creates great emphasis on key words and adds a sensse of pleading desperation......near perfection...in my view.....it has unusual format wiv some very long lines......but for me.......that adds to the quick tempo and the desperate , pleading tone.
Comment is about Innocentia Sithole (poet profile)
Original item by Innocentia Sithole
Thu 26th Apr 2012 22:17
Comment is about Don't Look Down (Look Up) (blog)
Thu 26th Apr 2012 22:11
Fantastic. I agree completely with your sentiments, well written too. It put me in mind of Kipling's 'If'.
Thu 26th Apr 2012 22:09
Wow, Larisa, I love this. It's one of those few poems that when I'd read it, I wished I'd written it myself! Hoping you are well, Love, Lynn x
Comment is about I don't write poems (blog)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Thu 26th Apr 2012 22:05
Not surprised in the slightest, well done Laura X
Thu 26th Apr 2012 22:03
Thank you very much, Terry. :)
Comment is about Double Dealings (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Thu 26th Apr 2012 22:02
Oops, belated thank you's for your comments, John and Nick, appreciated none the less :)
Comment is about Live And Let Live? (blog)
Thu 26th Apr 2012 21:59
Thank you Yvonne and Cynthia.
I did worry that the problem with writing an autobiographical love poem after being married so long would make it cheesy. Only my second sonnet - it might be the last too, haha. xx
Comment is about Devotion (blog)
Thu 26th Apr 2012 20:51
Fantastic... Well done Tom. X
Thu 26th Apr 2012 20:17
Thanks for the kind words Philip Kelly.
To be honest I haven't a clue what your talking about but hey it don't half sound great !!
I just write what's in my head...there's no method, there's no 'enjambement and effective use of internal rhyme' or 'assonance and consonance', whatever that is.... i just write what's inside me (if that makes sense).
You should come and check me out live..... as my bio says....I am the proverbial poetic finger up the arse, I'm either the best orgasm you'll ever have or I'm the reason you'll shit the bed!
All the best
Comment is about Words Escape Me (poet profile)
Thu 26th Apr 2012 19:59
A most appealing view of the force that compels
a poet to write, one that we can all share and
Thu 26th Apr 2012 17:45
Hi Marianne Thank you for your very generous comments on the red kites poem. I'm really pleased you liked it. I shall have to check out yours.
Comment is about Marianne Daniels (poet profile)
Thu 26th Apr 2012 16:46
It was a great night Laura,and I was dead chuffed for you when you read your poem!! Great review too! John x
Thu 26th Apr 2012 15:28
Picture shows Cheltenham poetry festival creative director Ross Cogan introducing Nine Arches poets Luke Kennard, left, Daniel Sluman, centre, and Phil Brown at the Poetry Jukebox at the Exmouth Arms. See review http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=29040
Comment is about Poetry jukebox, Cheltenham poetry festival, April 2012 (photo)
Thu 26th Apr 2012 13:37
Thanks Cynthia, I agree with your observation and will amend accordingly.
Marianne Louise Daniels
Thu 26th Apr 2012 13:23
Congratulatons Laura - you have a talent for the craft that truly deserves the recognition. Ace.
Nice Review too.
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Thu 26th Apr 2012 12:13
Cute and clever. In my cat experience, the mouse was always dead, usually minus its head.
Comment is about On not being a cat (blog)
Original item by Thomas Thurman
Thu 26th Apr 2012 12:08
This is interesting. I think 'Blank city connected space' is quite relevant with 'Cage overdying'. Perhaps 'pathetic' might be the last word left in our minds, since that seems to be mood sought.
It is 'Waling', Steve Waling; the 'h' might lead you off-course. He is highly respected for experimental verse.
Comment is about Watch The Road (blog)
Original item by mark littler
Thu 26th Apr 2012 12:01
A "mood" piece that will resonate with anyone
who has attended a funeral - especially on
a day made worse by bad weather! Agree with
the comments praising the final stanza. It
finishes the piece beautifully.
Comment is about Funeral (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Thu 26th Apr 2012 11:57
Wasn't it novelist Frank Norman who wrote
"Nostalgia ain't what it used to be"?
A child's eye-view is like looking through a
telescope the wrong way round.
My childhood was spent in a seaside town that bore the bomb-sites of Hitler's war...another
"paradise" for play and the imagination. But
when I return there now, it is another place entirely - and not just because it has been
repaired and "improved". Chris Co's words remind us that such things are in the mind as much as anything else.
Comment is about Our day out (blog)
Original item by Chris Co
Thu 26th Apr 2012 11:48
An admirable sonnet on a bracing theme. I did smile at 'doth', and maybe a bit with 'Eternally' and 'blissful' but your effect is still one of personal honesty and encouragement for us all.
Thu 26th Apr 2012 11:39
You make me holler! It doesn't matter how 'blah' I may feel, you are a shot of sunshine to improve my whole outlook.
Comment is about A little something (blog)
Original item by mike watts
Thu 26th Apr 2012 11:34
Rain and death together are always great fodder for poetry. There is much that is very good in this; the mood is well-captured, and the final stanza is superb. IMO, there is editting to be done, a paring of words to a minimalist poem that would engage the heart by imaginative suggestion. Surely 'continued to weep' could be shortened, and 'the clouds went on'. AWR.
Thu 26th Apr 2012 11:23
An interesting piece this Chris. I recently revisited somewhere from my childhood and felt really sad at the state of the place, not nostalgic at all. The real quality of this is the mind's eye feeling that you have that can't be replaced by reality. A lovely bereft feeling that can't be put right. Nicely worded.
Thu 26th Apr 2012 11:07
Super stuff, Laura. Congratulations. In your review I particularly enjoyed the comments of Daljit Nagra.
Thu 26th Apr 2012 10:58
All credit to Aristotle for the wisdom; but the haiku is mine.
Comment is about Chatting With Ari (blog)
Thu 26th Apr 2012 09:50
thank You for possibilities of posting my poems at Your webpage. Of course, I inform You about any artistic events in my area. I would like to recomend Your webpage to my artistic friends all over Poland.
Comment is about Rafał Nowakowski (poet profile)
Original item by Rafał Nowakowski
Thu 26th Apr 2012 09:47
Thank you for the lovely comments, it's exactly what I need right now. (:
Thu 26th Apr 2012 08:08
Belated thanks for your comments on Duty, Nick
Comment is about Nick Clifton (poet profile)
Original item by Nick Clifton
Thu 26th Apr 2012 08:03
At least you can't blame Nelson for this one, John! Good point, MC, about the second world war. Toulon, wasn't it? I know, it's been too long
Comment is about Their Finest Hour (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Thu 26th Apr 2012 07:59
The mood at a funeral does depend on the weather a bit ... those final three lines are wonderful.
Thu 26th Apr 2012 07:27
mine's a pint ;) well done Laura and everyone .
Thu 26th Apr 2012 00:29
Thanks for joining Write Out Loud and posting your work up here. I enjoyed reading these and look forward to hearing other folks' views of your work.
Wed 25th Apr 2012 19:57
Congratulations Laura x
Wed 25th Apr 2012 19:13
Chuffed for you Laura x
Wed 25th Apr 2012 18:17
Lovely!.Not that many folk can say this these days. XX
Wed 25th Apr 2012 16:42
A moving tribute, beautifully written.
Comment is about SAILING DAYS (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Wed 25th Apr 2012 16:12
Comparing love to water in the first verse is excellent and conjures up bitter-sweet emotions in me. A fine poem. XX
Comment is about True Love (blog)
Original item by Lucy
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