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Lynn Dye

Mon 8th Nov 2010 22:08

I think this is really good, Lucy x

Comment is about Rise and Fall (blog)

Original item by MissLucy

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Elaine Booth

Mon 8th Nov 2010 22:06

Some stunning images, Cynthia. The use of "mince" and "ham" is interesting - emphasises the fleshiness, the raw physicality of sexuality. Echoes the edge of violence and sensuality which is certainly to be found in Picasso's work. Good not to have the image up - I sometimes think that images posted with poems can get in the way of the reader's own response.

Comment is about Lines on Picasso's APERITIF (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Elaine Booth

Mon 8th Nov 2010 21:59

Really enjoyed this. Gave me a shock of recognition as it reminds me to a poem I wrote years ago, using some of the exact same words! But it was not at all as well conceived and realised as your poem.

Comment is about the little leaf (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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winston plowes

Mon 8th Nov 2010 21:56

Hi Elaine, thanks for your comment on Ghazal, that was exactly what I was trying to do! so great, thx. win xx

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

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Elaine Booth

Mon 8th Nov 2010 21:51

This is spot on for the time of year - without talking directly about the end of the year, witches and so on. Much more subtle and evocative.

Comment is about Must be the season of the witch (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

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Lynn Dye

Mon 8th Nov 2010 21:45

Only just read this, Dave. I love it, so amusing and well written. x

Comment is about Mannequin (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

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Elaine Booth

Mon 8th Nov 2010 21:44

Liked the title as a play on "The Persistence of Memory". I especially enjoyed the first verse. This seems to have a life of it's own,possibly seperate from the rest, but then the key to the whole piece is perhaps "fracturing.." since this is the surrealist experience?

Comment is about The Persistent Memoir (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

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Elaine Booth

Mon 8th Nov 2010 21:35

Enjoyed this - some good rhythms in it. I think as a performance piece you need the last line.

Comment is about Black Dog (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

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Elaine Booth

Mon 8th Nov 2010 21:32

Absolutley great. Very much enjoyed reading and re-reading this. I must say, here speaks a man of experience - you sure know your M&S!!

Comment is about Mannequin (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

<Deleted User> (7212)

Mon 8th Nov 2010 21:25

loveitloveitloveit !
the title hints at something lesser, but for me, this is one of your very best. Lovely. xx

Comment is about rainraingoaway (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Elaine Booth

Mon 8th Nov 2010 21:25

Kenny, this is great. So glad you posted it. Verse 2 - very powerful. Possibly "The Affliction"? Referencing George Herbert's poem of the same name? Hope to see you soon. x

Comment is about The Afflicted (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

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Elaine Booth

Mon 8th Nov 2010 21:18

Really enjoyed your poem - very evocative. Particularly liked line 6. Do agree with Cynthia though about the use of afar.

Comment is about Autumn Fen (blog)

Original item by Christopher Dawson

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Elaine Booth

Mon 8th Nov 2010 21:12

Actually I didn't mind the "life sucks" as it seems to express what you felt - I can see you there, sort of huddled over your pint, thinking of what might have been with the two worlds that presumably didn't ever collide. Had a similar moment myself this year so this struck a chord with me.

Comment is about The Original Oak (blog)

Original item by Isobel

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Larisa Rzhepishevska

Mon 8th Nov 2010 21:07

Nice poem! But... I would like to know: How do you distinguish "he" or "she"? I would better say that rain is "he". Do you know why? Because according to the Russian language the word "rain" ends with a consonant.

Comment is about rainraingoaway (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Elaine Booth

Mon 8th Nov 2010 21:00

Very sobering poem but liked it a lot.

Comment is about L'Inconnue (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

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Elaine Booth

Mon 8th Nov 2010 20:44

Brill. Loved it. Packs a real punch.

Comment is about Anniversary Haiku (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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shoeless

Mon 8th Nov 2010 19:03

no , thankyou Winston :) x

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

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shoeless

Mon 8th Nov 2010 19:02

hello , thanks for reading and commenting on my poem.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Ann Foxglove

Mon 8th Nov 2010 18:17

I think this is a big golden poem Gus! And I agree with Francine. xx

Comment is about Jake (This poem was written for a very dear friend on the loss of her true and faithful friend) (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

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Greg Freeman

Mon 8th Nov 2010 16:55

Imagine you winning! Were all the guys jealous? They all came nowhere, man. Ok, I'll stop now ...

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

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Greg Freeman

Mon 8th Nov 2010 16:53

Cheers for your comment on Currawong, Win

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

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Greg Freeman

Mon 8th Nov 2010 16:22

Cheers for your comments on Currawong, David. What a stroke of luck, to win a holiday to Australia. You've chosen a better time to go than we did, weather-wise, but my wife's is a primary school head, so we have no choice on dates: August or August.

Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)

Original item by David Cooke

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Francine

Mon 8th Nov 2010 15:46

Such a lovely celestial tribute, Gus...

xxx

Comment is about Jake (This poem was written for a very dear friend on the loss of her true and faithful friend) (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

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Laura Taylor

Mon 8th Nov 2010 14:30

Congratulations Paul, and to Ann and Chris - nice one.

And a big thank you to Andy for running it :) cheers :)

I'm looking forward to the next one - it's fun writing on a shared theme

Comment is about Freedom Competition Winners (blog)

Original item by Andy N

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Isobel

Mon 8th Nov 2010 13:31

Ambiguous yes but not unfathomable.

I like the new style of writing you are experimenting with Janet. x

Comment is about Ambiguity (blog)

<Deleted User> (7164)

Mon 8th Nov 2010 12:59

Oh my god! It's mi' Aunty Mary :-)
Always wondered where she'd got to.x

Comment is about L'Inconnue (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

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Paul F Blackburn

Mon 8th Nov 2010 12:06

Thanks for commenting on me poem. Send me a postal order for £500k and I'll send you details of Sinful-X, the thigh people.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Ann Foxglove

Mon 8th Nov 2010 11:01

Hi Cynthia - thank you for your very kind comments on Salsa with Orion. On a different subject, have you read Elizabeth Bishop? I am just discovering her poetry and I love a great deal of it. xx

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

<Deleted User> (6895)

Mon 8th Nov 2010 09:42

Good morning (again)Ann-yes it was a bit gooney to have cossack danced-the threads could have burst and all me 'aggis would have popped out! enjoy your London trip-watch out(or should I say breathe in on train_warm farts are likely to abound!)give my regards to old broadway-and take these with you-xxxxxxxSteffo-ps what a flippin deluge in the Rhondda last night-so I phoned the boatyard and asked them to take the car in part ex-for a peddle-o/paddle-o!

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Andy N

Mon 8th Nov 2010 08:21

little bit of the buddhism in that for me, Cythnia.. love the last line in particular but top stuff! x

Comment is about Creation (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Andy N

Mon 8th Nov 2010 08:19

love pieces like this where a good story is told within a piece, but not everything is told! Well done on reaching 2nd place too in the comp! x

Comment is about salsa with orion (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Andy N

Mon 8th Nov 2010 08:19

mid-week I hope to sort out my last note on the comp (ended up been away for the week-end) but I just want to add, it was a pleasure organising the comp and I had so much praise, it almost makes me feel big-headed - lol.

For the next competition, I have been speaking to Paul - more details to follow!

Comment is about Freedom Competition Winners (blog)

Original item by Andy N

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Andy N

Mon 8th Nov 2010 08:15

like this a lot, C - the second line in particular, but i love the visualness in this piece.. A

Comment is about Winter (blog)

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Ann Foxglove

Mon 8th Nov 2010 05:42

Hi Lynne - haven't had a poem from you for a while. Get scribblin'! And thanks for nice comment re the Freedom thing too. xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Ann Foxglove

Mon 8th Nov 2010 05:33

What a story and what a face. She has a beautific smile. I love this poem. And also the idea behind it - and I guess, having done a first aid course a few years ago, I may have pressed my lips against hers too!

Comment is about L'Inconnue (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

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winston plowes

Mon 8th Nov 2010 00:20

It reminds me of being alienated by my attempts at tap dancing class! (True) nice story poem Ann. Win x

Comment is about salsa with orion (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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winston plowes

Mon 8th Nov 2010 00:15

love the back story, and the poem. thx Win x

Comment is about L'Inconnue (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

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winston plowes

Mon 8th Nov 2010 00:11

yes, well done everybody it was a great exercise, bring on the next topic (Paul?) Win x

Comment is about Freedom Competition Winners (blog)

Original item by Andy N

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Isobel

Sun 7th Nov 2010 22:02

I've no idea what happens to us after we die and whether we totally cease to exist. Up to a point I would agree with you that we lose our identity when we die. We do live on in the legacy we leave though - the memories, the love. Some people also manage to make a huge difference to other people's lives - a physical legacy I suppose.
I was just thinking how sad it would be to be washed up faceless from a river - a bit like the unknown soldier - for no-one to know and be able to take care of you. This is a bit of a morbid subject isn't it? Sorry if any it has been painful. I was inspired by earlier things I saw on WOL - that's the way it seems to work on here.
Hope to see you at the Tudor maybe.

Comment is about Shoeless Carole (poet profile)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

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shoeless

Sun 7th Nov 2010 21:53

thanks for your comments on death mask,your eptiaph inspired it .. it is about more than the mask of course , and i wonder that maybe everyone does lose their identity , isnt that what death is ?

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

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Francine

Sun 7th Nov 2010 21:52

The brevity of your words work well with the fascinating story behind the mask. The mystery of both the young woman and the mask leaves you wondering...

Comment is about L'Inconnue (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

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Isobel

Sun 7th Nov 2010 21:48

Simple and stark Carole. I like the title - it is sad though. Bad enough to lose your life - worse to lose your identity.

Comment is about L'Inconnue (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sun 7th Nov 2010 21:43

Just popped on to say hi Lynn-hope you and family and Ben are well-going down to Porthcawl in the the morning-so I,m pc-less for a week-no tears now!catch you at weekend-your week goes well-best of em-Stef-xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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shoeless

Sun 7th Nov 2010 21:33

this is a cheery little number eh , brought about by the epitaph poems on write out loud , and remembrance sunday and samhain , well you know ,, i was thinking about death masks and looked them up on wiki , l'inconnue du seine was a mask made of a young woman found in the seine , which amazingly to me as a nurse was the first face on the resuci anni cpr dolls so i may have given her mouth to mouth I originaly titled the poem death mask but my freind chris neale suggested using the masks title

Comment is about L'Inconnue (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

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Dave Bradley

Sun 7th Nov 2010 21:12

Well done Rachel. Very much looking forward to reading or hearing the winning poems

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

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alisonsmiles68@gmail.com

Sun 7th Nov 2010 21:00

just popping by to thank you for your pragmatism. I'd rather be known as someone who writes quirky poems that twist a knife than someone seeking attention and sympathy. You were spot on.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Isobel

Sun 7th Nov 2010 20:32

I like your suggestions a lot Steve. The original was clumsy - I got carried away by my ideas and wanted to post it in a hurry rather than spend the time getting it to sound right. I'm going to give it some more thought and if nothing better comes, use your suggestion, which I like but isn't mine :)

The ideas in it are important to me - I hope people see beyond the sentimental and can hear what I'm really saying about human nature.

I was just following on from the theme of epitaph that lots of people have posted on here without thinking about it. But having thought about it, I am going to stick with it.
According to my dictionary an epitaph can also be a commemorative speech or written passage. I think the words are definitely mine - the future dead person, not the words of the future grieving.

Thanks for your constructive criticism - I appreciate it. x

Comment is about Epitaph (blog)

Original item by Isobel

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garside

Sun 7th Nov 2010 20:20

Hi Isobel - i like the idea - though i feel this almost to be more an obituary than chiseled into a headstone

if i was to consider editing i suggest that some words are not needed in order to make it more 'epitaph' than 'obituary'

eg -

donate your coins to research if I die of cancer

to alzheimer's if death by senile dementia;

Cats Protection if I perish childless and alone

hope this helps

Comment is about Epitaph (blog)

Original item by Isobel

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Isobel

Sun 7th Nov 2010 20:20

Then you must have plagiarised me Banksy - I've written one about dolls of different descriptions. I plagiarised some of the internal rythm from another poet so I've never posted it. I wonder how many doll poems are out there?

Comment is about Mannequin (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

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