i woke tonight in the darkest hour, distressed beyond my own exsistence, it happens. thanks for leaving this poem here to distract me

Comment is about Discomposed (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

My God! I think it's just perfect. You are so right telling: "How hard it is to make a simple rhyme".
Love you fore that.
With warmest wishes,
Larisa

Comment is about Discomposed (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Beautiful! Just beautiful! I really enjoy reading and more than that: listening to the nice poems. Thank you.

Comment is about Tale from the North Country (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

just left this comment to Andy N and thought it might help - a feature of the ghazal form is that the couplets seem unconnected but somehow related as a whole. I sometimes think of it as a painting with the couplets describing features within the picture, Win :-)

also yes, His singing voice does absolutely give that impression of freedom and suits the lyrics wonderfully. Laura, there has got to be a poet in you if you like lyrics/music like this.

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hi Andy, thanks for the comments on Ghazal (hour just before dawn). You mention 'lots of images going on' and this is a feature of the ghazal form where the couplets are unconnected but somehow related as a whole. I sometimes think of it as a painting with the couplets describing features within the picture, Win :-)

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Hi again, re Ghazal (hour just before dawn) Ironically the 3 shers you liked the best were the ones I changed/added since the orig posting. so pleased with that thanks, it shows they are working :-) Win x

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Those Norsemen knew a thing or two. Wise words and sage weather tips, John. Plus wonderful pic of Noggin the Nog

Comment is about Tale from the North Country (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Hi MikeDon't worry if you don't get too many comments on this. I'm sure lots of people will read it - it's such a powerful poem - and appreciate its force and emotion, but simply won't know what to say to you. Anyone who, like me, hasn't been through it, tends to have a feeling they should keep their mouth shut because they don't know - can't know in fact.

Apologies this got multi-posted initially - no idea how - never happened before

Sorry if these few words don't hit the spot, but loads of sympathy to you and your wife.

Comment is about Comes and Goes a Day (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Will the entry fee be free after 9:30?

Comment is about Poetry N Motion (blog)

Original item by Alain English

I would love to come.

Comment is about Poetry N Motion (blog)

Original item by Alain English

Thanks Dave. There is a lot in it but even more left out. He really was an expert - he was on tele not long back, though I think mink is his speciality. Not rabbits.

Janet. It's not your shins you should be worrying about. I was about to say "are you wearing a cap?" but folk might get wrong impression.

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

Hi, Janet! This poem of yours is so beautiful. I love it from the very beginning up to the end. With warmest wishes, Larisa

Comment is about The Charibdis Effect (blog)

Hi, John! Thank you so much for the message you've sent to me. It was really interesting to know that your grandmother knew Pushkin in Russian. I always say that Shakespeare is not Shakespeare if you don't know English. The same with Pushkin. Even if you are the best in English and the best poet you will never be able to show the wealth of the language. I am writing now a new poem " My Pushkin in Odessa". I would be happy to get your comments. With love and warmest wishes, Larisa

Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)

Original item by John Aikman

Mixed metaphors aside...this made me sniff up a genuine tear. Sending them off into the wide blue yonder is awesomely...err, awesome. You are definitely getting more succinct...searching for the simplest, least cluttered metaphor...for me, that's real poetry. Fab!

PS I once said out loud in a meeting that we should 'Grab the bull by the nettles'....I sometimes think mixed metaphors can be fun! : )

Jx

Comment is about Applying Logic (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Re the album - awww...yeh, that's my (our, actually, pass the sick bag ;)) favourite song on the album. There was so much in there that rang true to us. Has had me in tears a few times too.

I LOVE his voice. It's like when you're on your own, and you really let rip singing, and it doesn't matter if you don't hit every note perfectly - that's what he sounds like, and it breaks my heart.

Wow - another poem to come out of the album!! I can't WAIT to see what you write! That's brilliant :) :) I'm so glad you're liking it :)

x

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Thanks so much for commenting on the ghazal Win - I was really hoping you'd come along, as you seemed to be the only one writing them, and I really fancied having a go :)

Okay, in order of your points:

1. ta! hehe
2. thanks again - wanted to keep it as simple as I could, but more on that in a mo
3. yep - looked it all up
4. oh good - wasn't sure about the narrative aspect
5. ah now, there is SOME rhyme, but the info I looked up - some said yay, some said nay, so I dithered between the two. Can you just clarify - does it need rhyme, or not?
6. you know, I only found that part out about an hour ago whilst still looking for examples of it.
7. GAH! I counted and counted and counted. Hmmm...might change that to eyes instead of alleys then. Ta.
8. and 9. wahey! :D

re point 2 - I realise it isn't a part of the form, but as it seemed such a simple set of couplets, I built some ambiguity in there by not assigning gender to one of the two. Also kept capitals out of it, as I wanted it to be non-hierarchical...if it's going to be about love, well, isn't that integral? Anyhoo, just my little playing around with it :)

Thanks again, really appreciate you taking the time to read, comment constructively, and encourage. More later, as they say!

Laura x

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Two Headed Boy pt2 is an amazing thing. took me a while to get used to the singing voice but actually now think he has a voice like Peter Gabriel (not natural but characterful!) It drew tears on the way to work the other day and has even inspired (The start of ) a poem. Win X

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hi Isobel, like you I tend to skim through them till something catches my eye. Thats because there are some poets who dont give leeway and continue to put up too many blogs at once. I was like that for some time till I became more thoughtful of my own verse and of course, other people. Nevertheless, you are one of the poets I do take time to read as I like your work, and also, you have been here for time proving that you do have a genuine interest in poetry, and this site is not a site you abuse just to get something off your chest. I really do like this site, and in the main I enjoy the rich and varied work. And as said before, I like your work too. Thank you for posting a comment on 'Comes and Goes a Day.' I guess you know what the poem is about, but in case you don't, my wife and I recently lost our second baby to miscarriage. Anyway darling, keep working and posting your poetry. It works! Further, just when i thought nobody was interested in my work, you have come and saved the day. Thank you.

much love and respect to you.

Michael

x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Bloody ell - they're 15 and the parents are only NOW letting them on feelthy public transport? Haha! Christ, they're gonna have a shock in a years time when they roll in pissed eh? ;) Ach, some people - no bloody idea, or just don't wanna know - which is worse.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

'lo love - you weren't being critical in a negative way though were you? I did ask for constructive comments, and your suggestion worked REALLY well - when I read it back it just worked brilliantly! So thank you again lil witch :)

Comment is about Shoeless Carole (poet profile)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

Funny. I've always found pink a disturbing colour- because it is the colour of gums. Men in pink jeans, mmmm, marginally better than jessies in tights, I suppose.

Comment is about Pink (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi, i'm really not sure whether some kind of explanatory notes are necessary for this one so comments are welcome on the poem as well as on my uncertainty.
Thank you :-)

Comment is about The Charibdis Effect (blog)

Hi Comfort, Welcome to Write Out Loud. Winston (Admin)

Comment is about Comfort (poet profile)

Original item by Comfort

Thanks for commenting Francine, Ann, Andy, John, Elaine, Lynn, Cynthia and Chris. For the record this is not autobiographical. I did once own a pair of cherished pink Levis back in the 70's.

Comment is about Pink (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Thanks for your comment about the photo Ann. One of my favourites with my granddaughter, who I miss loads when I am in France. another photo of her coming up when I get round to finishing a short piece about skipping all the way to school with her yesterday.
Regarding the comments about your garb in the photo, I am sure ther was more bustle last time I was at Hebden railway station. Cheers.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I've got my shin pads on today :-)

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

Lump in throat Isobel. Children are precious.
Cate xx

Comment is about Applying Logic (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Enjoyed this Ray. There's lots in it, including an encounter with an expert. Being ambushed by experts with dismaying news seems to be our lot in the 21st century.

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

Hi Janet;

Glad you like it.. means a lot to me as it's certainly one of my more favourite recent pieces! x

Comment is about The Other Side (Space Poem) (blog)

Original item by Andy N

I tend to skim read a lot of blog postings nowaday to decide what I'll read and what I won't - there are just so many of them. Initially I thought this was one about torture (cos I know you're an ex soldier). I guess it's a poem that just can't be skim read.

'We're sitting in silence for an unborn memory' - very haunting - as is the last verse.

Isobel x

Comment is about Comes and Goes a Day (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

a profile picture poem...'pouting with the dead'

once i stalked the graves of stoke newington
with a 6ft smackhead from dublin
he towered around and lumbered along like a lump from the adams family
while i gaily twittered an early birds song of morticia.
'what is a goth anyway?' i questioned in my red haired garb and black clothed statement bearing anarchy on my chest most ample with breathlessness
theres a long way to get lost in this london town's grey slated cobwebness
in this dead of night a tear formed in his milk heroined eyes as the cold crept under his fingernails.
'its ok' i proclaimed our safety in the clarity of my conscience and knowledge of my innocence with the dead.
he grew uneasy and heavy, he read his crimes of bludgeon and murder.
he threw me on a slab and offered a fuck.
I graciously refused pointing out this was not a part of 'goth' i had ever enjoyed before
and so we retreated to a ramshackle caravan on a rubbish tip somewhere else where amidst the chaos of unscrupulous glastonbury hunters evicting our very bed from beneath us...he threw the stove through the door while i flicked the pages of tank girl and wondered how my life had become so dull...ee the things we do for lack of sleep...xxx

Comment is about Marianne Daniels (poet profile)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

James. Well, I could be clever and say the opening verse was a googly, or is it a chinaman?It's a fairly old poem, I remember I was trying to imitate a particular writer but no more than that.

Cynthia. I think others have suggested I could begin at verse 3, but, you know, where would we be without a bit of foreplay?It's just a bit of daftness but the rabbit incident did really happen and the last 2 lines still make me laugh.

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

re the 'blockage'-send for Dynamic Rod!...oh oh oh(well,tis Christmas-ish)You,ll be back-I,ll bet me cheesecloth shurt onnit-ta me dux-xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Unfortunately many people can relate to these feelings - especially the sick, disabled, and elderly. I also like the way you describe its progression, as it is not always some major life event that causes the depression....

Comment is about Too Much Space, Too Much Time (blog)

Original item by Tom

Maybe Cotton would be more me!

Comment is about Nicolas (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

No, linen sheets are fine! Now satin, that would be cliche! I really enjoyed this poem, esp for it's poignant side.

Comment is about Nicolas (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

I like this a lot Thom and can identify with it too. The initial couple of stanzas where I guess you hope not to end up like your father then morphs into how you are maybe feeling old and fear you're just not interested in, or of interest to, other people. Just wait til you get to my age! Introverts unite I say! One of your best I think. And of course I know that a poem does not have to be about you yourself, so don't take my comments personally. xx

Comment is about Too Much Space, Too Much Time (blog)

Original item by Tom

How right you are Cynthia. I was being very lazy slipping into 'sleep and heap'. I actually wrote the poem on my mobile phone note pad that morning in the wood so it is unrevised but i wanted to share it. I am enjoying this new burst of creativity and also the friendly comments from yourself and others. Thank you thank you for noticing the title. It was because i was so chuffed with it that I wanted to share the poem right away.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks Carole - you are right about the mixed metaphors - it would be better if I stuck to just ships. The person this is about will one day disappear on a plane though, not a ship so I'll leave it in for now. I would re-jig it but I don't want to dwell on it any more - it's too depressing. x

Comment is about Applying Logic (blog)

Original item by Isobel

thats nice , but i think you could lose the vapour trail disintigrate through cloudless sky cos it muddles the ship metaphor ( is metaphor the right word ?)

Comment is about Applying Logic (blog)

Original item by Isobel

I do like this, Freda, with its rhyme and metre. Enjoyed 'hoovering the village'. IMO,'to blanket them to sleep' does not use the fresh diction standard set in the first stanza, charming enough, but out of step with the strong imagery prior. I do realize the 'wood' is a kind of 'romantic' world, but fresh verbal ideas still have to describe even that. Perhaps a different approach to 'the leaves of the wood', more mundane - like their decomposition creating new soil, or something like that? Just a thought. The title is ingenious.

Comment is about As Autumn Leaves (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Thanks for your comment Cynthia. Always very much appreciated. How on earth I missed out a whole word twice is beyond me! T

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks for your recent comment and pointing out the typo... a case of too many 'too's and not enough 'to's!

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

For me, this poem reads like crossing horses in mid-stream. Stanza 1 has a sharp socially satiric start, Stanza 2 is just funny in the division of family labour (not sure whether the 'antagonists' were the kids or not). Have no idea why the 'rabbit' was an upshot of 'a cheap vacation', a local caravan park perhaps. Stanza 4 shows the 'husband' figure supposedly defending his 'territory jealously' yet doing exactly what his wife desires. ie. bashing the rabbit. So much for a husband's strong stance. And finally, you're to blame for the beastie's death by 'cricket bat' which means you are banned from ever wielding another in the family arena. IMO, the topsy-turvey sequence covers volumes with outrageous hilarity. Now I'll read the other comments, to see if anyone is with me or not!

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

Thanks for your comment on my sonnet. I know i've take forever to respond but I've been away from the internet this week. Be interesting to hear any criticisms you have :)

James

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Thanks for your comment on my sonnet. I know i've take forever to respond but I've been away from the internet this week. Be interesting to hear any criticisms you have :)

much love

James

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Thanks for your comment on my sonnet. I know i've take forever to respond but I've been away from the internet this week. Be interesting to hear any criticisms you have :)

much love

James

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I really like this idea of 'numbing space' that needs your own unique style of expression. IMO, the poem could be tighter, and therefore more hard-hitting. So much is so good. In the 2nd stanza, did you leave out a word, maybe 'want'? I usually don't make editting suggestions unless I've been invited to do so..

Comment is about Too Much Space, Too Much Time (blog)

Original item by Tom

lol Alison you might have turned me with this. I love the poem. maybe "linen sheets" is a bit cliches though.

Comment is about Nicolas (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

like it. I'm not sure the political sentiment in the opening is followed through enough though. Be interesting to hear why you included it.

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)