Thanks for your comment Cynthia. Always very much appreciated. How on earth I missed out a whole word twice is beyond me! T

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks for your recent comment and pointing out the typo... a case of too many 'too's and not enough 'to's!

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

For me, this poem reads like crossing horses in mid-stream. Stanza 1 has a sharp socially satiric start, Stanza 2 is just funny in the division of family labour (not sure whether the 'antagonists' were the kids or not). Have no idea why the 'rabbit' was an upshot of 'a cheap vacation', a local caravan park perhaps. Stanza 4 shows the 'husband' figure supposedly defending his 'territory jealously' yet doing exactly what his wife desires. ie. bashing the rabbit. So much for a husband's strong stance. And finally, you're to blame for the beastie's death by 'cricket bat' which means you are banned from ever wielding another in the family arena. IMO, the topsy-turvey sequence covers volumes with outrageous hilarity. Now I'll read the other comments, to see if anyone is with me or not!

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

Thanks for your comment on my sonnet. I know i've take forever to respond but I've been away from the internet this week. Be interesting to hear any criticisms you have :)

James

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Thanks for your comment on my sonnet. I know i've take forever to respond but I've been away from the internet this week. Be interesting to hear any criticisms you have :)

much love

James

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Thanks for your comment on my sonnet. I know i've take forever to respond but I've been away from the internet this week. Be interesting to hear any criticisms you have :)

much love

James

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I really like this idea of 'numbing space' that needs your own unique style of expression. IMO, the poem could be tighter, and therefore more hard-hitting. So much is so good. In the 2nd stanza, did you leave out a word, maybe 'want'? I usually don't make editting suggestions unless I've been invited to do so..

Comment is about Too Much Space, Too Much Time (blog)

Original item by Tom

lol Alison you might have turned me with this. I love the poem. maybe "linen sheets" is a bit cliches though.

Comment is about Nicolas (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

like it. I'm not sure the political sentiment in the opening is followed through enough though. Be interesting to hear why you included it.

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

I'm laughing out loud!:)))))))

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

Too late, Janet, I've already paid the hitman.He'll be wearing white and swinging a bat, if that's any help.

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

Hey Isobel, I really enjoyed this poem. Nice work. Keep writing and posting.

rgds

Michael

Comment is about Applying Logic (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Thom, I really like this poem. And to be honest, this is a very original form of writing that you don't see much of on this site, and for that this poem really stands out. Thank you for sharing this one with us. A very unique standard of good quality. And I can really identify with the content.
stay well and keep posting.

rgds

Mike

Comment is about Too Much Space, Too Much Time (blog)

Original item by Tom

Hey - little typo I think - should be 'to' rather than 'too' last line, 3rd stanza.

I know these feelings. Is this a very recent piece? What is intriguing is how this darkness has come about, developed...the source of it. Depression, loss, S.A.D., just not having enough space, the constant bloody grind of other people.

I really like this.

Comment is about Too Much Space, Too Much Time (blog)

Original item by Tom

oh 'eck! have i really upset you?
So sorry. Intentional or otherwise it still 'appears' to rhyme, most likely hidden away in the rhythm.
I sincerely hope i'm forgiven for such a blunder and putting Dumbo's foot in it :-)

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

Thank you all.
Janet. I spend hours in front of the mirror trying to perfect my all-flexible chameleon/poet image and you don't even notice that I'm not rhyming. I'm deeply upset. And troubled.Mostly troubled.

Isobel. Yes, my wife sounds brilliant. But then so did Pavarotti.God, I hope she never reads anything on here.
I ought to add that it is meant to be humorous and not a true reflection of our relationship but on the other hand the rabbit business is entirely factual. It takes a long time to kill a rabbit with a cricket bat. Especially when you're English.

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

Poignant and touching...

Comment is about Applying Logic (blog)

Original item by Isobel

I agree this is really lovely in imagery and gentle rhyme. That last stanza is super :-)

Comment is about As Autumn Leaves (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

I had to read it twice to see where the title came in. I enjoyed this Ray. I imagine this poem could cover a whole gammet of emotions beyond jealousy - guilt for one.
I love the way you explore the delineation between masculine and feminine roles within your house - also the personal implications of overstepping those lines - fascinating!
The ending is very powerful - not sure if there is supposed to be black humour there or just poignancy - it is about as powerful as a cricket back could be.
I think your wife sounds brilliant - my kind of woman - you just have to do the very best you can in life - even if sometimes you get it wrong - it is the caring that is important. x

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

Thanks for comments on Fitting In, Greg.ECT is very much alive and kicking, though it's a bit of a postcode lottery. One of the buzzwords in mental health at present is evidence-based practice - except when it comes to ECT when intuitive knowledge is allowed to hold sway.

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Hi Larisa-just popped on to say good morning and hope you are well-love-Stef-xx

Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (poet profile)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Mornin hopalong! hope you are coping-see/read you soon-Stef-xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

A very good morning to the best poet(by far far far!)on WOL! are you out sledging? Mr W-xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

No idea who or what Nicolas is but I like the poem, it strikes a nice tone, the ending is quite poignant, I suppose. You've made some typing error, I presume, in line 2.

Comment is about Nicolas (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

I like this, Isobel, the last two lines are wonderful, except I think "on an empty hull" would be better. I also think the ship at sea imagery should be pursued to the bitter end, and
watch vapour trail disintegrate

through cloudless sky

disrupts this.

Comment is about Applying Logic (blog)

Original item by Isobel

I detest raspberries but have to say your poem is certainly a very juicy piece and made my mouth water.

Well done Carole :-)

Comment is about Raspberry fib (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

I love the images you portray in this Andy. It has to be rated as one of your best in my honest opinion.

Good stuff! ;-)

Comment is about The Other Side (Space Poem) (blog)

Original item by Andy N

I enjoyed reading this too.
It has your characteristic rhyme and in a style i have become accustomed to reading from you.
Good moral in the story line. Not entirely sure about the title though in relation.

I agree with Alison, it's a great piece read as a whole :-)

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

Aw Isobel this feels so sad and yet there's a hint of needing to let go as well. A very compassionate piece and just a touch of 'ah well' with acceptance.
Nice :-)

Comment is about Applying Logic (blog)

Original item by Isobel

god is a bitch...proof...woman suffers the torments of puberty, menstruation, pain childbirth, men,more pain childbirth, men,painful exfoliation and wax hair removal, periods and then just when the last ordeal of the menopause occours, with divine wisdom, God says "here you go love, have a beard" Only a woman could be so cruel.

i would quite happy undergo surgery to have huge penis and swarthy good looks to drive women wild with my masculine/feminine ways, however its all that body hair puts me off and the fact that everyone would think i was gay and mincey...ee its a troublesome world.

personally i like slinky men with lots of smoothe skin and some nice hairy bits to play with xx

Comment is about real men have body hair (blog)

Very effective final two lines, Ray. Bit tactless to mention cricket after the first day of the Ashes though, I would have thought!

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

wow...what an amazing pic...how did i miss that event?...god is a bitch x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

How often is this used in the NHS these days, Ray? I thought it had been discredited. The poem has a jaunty swing. I like "he's getting free electricity / but he'll end up in debt". Whether or not you plug yourself in, if you live long enough you'll forget it all anyway, I guess.

Comment is about Fitting In (blog)

I loved this. I was going to comment more but realised I couldn't single out one bit I appreciated over another, it was all good.

Comment is about Jealousy (blog)

Hi Isobel;

thanks for the comment over 'The Other Side'... It's one of those pieces really that wrote themselves if you know what I mean, but defo for me you could tell it's a Winter Poem and also wishing in hindsight perhaps there are things where you wish you could break through...

thanks again - hope you are good xx

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Win;

Thanks for the comments over 'the other side' - it's one of those pieces which wrote themselves if you know what I mean but I like it, and yeah, I am particularly fond of the beginning too.. Thanks again! x

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Thanks for the comments, Win and Isobel.. It's one of those pieces which wrote themselves really without much prompting and I must admit I am particularly fond of the images you both kindly point out... x

Comment is about The Other Side (Space Poem) (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Yes, just one word... lovely. Win x

Comment is about As Autumn Leaves (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

like looking through
a sheet of ice
from the other side.

great line that... grabbed me from the start. Win x

Comment is about The Other Side (Space Poem) (blog)

Original item by Andy N

These young mens bodies are formed around their machines. What a great glimpse of the strange human moulded in this way. Despite all the drugs and stories they are the ultimate athletes, nowhere to hide. You overlay a spicy relationship to this in your poem. Magnificent! Win x

Comment is about Nicolas (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

Thanks for your comment John. There will be a very sad follow up to that one and my Original Oak poem. Rising tuition fees make it pretty certain my son will have to study in Oz. He will come out with too much debt otherwise. I imagine he will end up settling there thereafter - that's usually the way. Looks like I'll be doing a lot of travelling and saving up!

Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)

Original item by John Aikman

I spent the best part of an hour trying to get a 16 year old boy out of bed and off to school this morning...and it lead me back to this poem.

The last verse is utterly beautiful. I know he loves me...though you'd never know it at 8.00 a.m. : )

Thank you!

Jxxx

Comment is about Made of Love (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Then if you've experience of the one-visit-to-the-salad-bar you'll fully understand the concept of using the cucumber as greedy boards.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Ha - I'll confess to not liking salad that much. I am thinking back to a time in Ruislip - there was a beef eater type restaurant where you could have as much salad as you liked but you had to fit it into one bowl. I managed to pile it high - but it was stupid really - it was always the steak and chips I enjoyed the most!

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Glad you liked Chinese Buffet. I honestly don't think you're qualified on matters of gourmand greed if your experience only runs to salad items like tomatoes, though.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Glad you enjoyed Chinese Buffet. Certainly no offense intended by using the Chinese voice. As an aside I really enjoy the sense of humour and gentle self-deprecation the proprietor of the Wa Yu Wan Restaurant in Spalding has!

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Val
Glad you enjoyed Chinese Buffet - almost a true story.

Comment is about Valerie Cook (poet profile)

Original item by Valerie Cook

Lynn
Glad you enjoyed Chinese Buffet - almost a true story!

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi Andy - I love the idea of looking at someone or at a relationship through a sheet of ice - it is a great image to express a cold divide.
'A mirage of Saturn's rings in all their beauty' also relects quite well the out of focus vision you might have through such a barrier. Neatly carried through to the two line ending. It would be great if we could all smash through the barriers wouldn't it?

An good read. x

Comment is about The Other Side (Space Poem) (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Hi Ann;

Many thanks for spotting the typo's on 'the other side'. I occasionally do miss them (advantage of my disabilities)and have corrected them..

I will have a think about the 6th stanza, but thank you for thinking it's a top poem! lol xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove