So that told you Ann! LOL And I'm wondering what Graham might do if you don't sort it...

Graham has a point about the microscopic - though I didn't give it thought until he did.

The poem has an absurd, surreal feel to it - the one you would get from dreams that don't mean anything, I suppose.

You have some odd line breaks going on in here also. I've got a bee in my bonnet about line breaks since Anthony's thread - I'm starting to really notice them. Perhaps you wanted a disjointed feel.
An interesting poem. I've never written about dreams before - I feel inspired...

Comment is about on waking (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hmmm . . . you are right about the word microscopic regarding the way it sounds, but I would query the fact that you could not see it if it was in a dream. Surely you can do anything in a dream? You can fly, so surely you can see something that is microscopic. Similarly, why do people suddenly appear in dreams, when you haven't seen them in forty years? I don't know. The images of the sea were the strongest ones in my dream, you are right there. And I am always missing buses in my dreams. In fact buses are a reccurring theme! I have no idea why.

Comment is about on waking (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Microscopic is a nasty word in poetry and is not correct, as you wouldn't be able to see it.
I think you should re-write this and change it around to accentuate the whale thick sea and the mountainous waves, the drama of the perilous cliff edges and why did this friend suddenly appear. There is a lot of potential intrigue here. Sort it out.

Comment is about on waking (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

hi Greg.new one on me re Dr.Winston'
o'Boogie(top name!)ta.

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

good poem , i was uber wierd and had an L shaped room the bit by the door was horrendous so that folks wouldnt enter , the rest was beautiful , clean calm , sweet smelling and welcoming. with marc bolan on the dansette :)

Comment is about Teenage Kicks (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

i like the poem , why do you need the final question mark , what are you asking ?

Comment is about Cycle Haiku (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

A beautifully crafted evocation of people, time, place and relationship.

Comment is about alpha et omega (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

A really wonderfull poem Anthony.

Comment is about alpha et omega (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Hi David - many thanks for your supportive comments on Reliquary, I'm pleased it worked for you at least.

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Ann - many thanks for both of your supportive comments on Reliquary - I'm pleased it worked for you at least. x

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Isobel - re: Reliquary - do appreciate your commenting. x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

i thought maybe Dave was meaning the guy upstairs and wasn't counting himself(no doubt all will be revealed b4 long in this instance) but personally i think psychologists and counsellors know more secrets because himself 'up there' could be like Homer Simpson on a busy day and all the new stuff(everyday more secrets, requests,prayers,etc) might push out all the old stuff, so he'll forget things,whereas the professionals have to write them down incase we go completely doolally. but on the other score I felt compelled to investigate;
Confidants; plural of confidant
Noun: A person with whom one shares a secret or private matter, trusting them not to repeat it. Merriam-Webster.
Confidante;
A woman to whom secrets or private matters are disclosed.
1.A woman character in a drama or fiction, such as a trusted friend or servant, who serves as a device for revealing the inner thoughts or intentions of a main character.
[French confidente, feminine of confident, confidant.
http://www.answers.com/topic/confidante
ok, i'll go away now..way too much thinking for a Sunday morning..

Comment is about Our secrets (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Love it Terry - Class !

Comment is about A Single Night (blog)

well, there's you & the guy upstairs (for a religious type like you ?) so isn't that two?
BTW (an error in a Dave Bradley poem - horrors !) but it's confidantes, innit ? :D B

Comment is about Our secrets (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Laura

Thanks for commenting on No Point; Point. I hope all is well over there

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Intriguing. Teases differently on each reading.

Thanks for commenting on No Point; Point, Cynthia. You really are one of the best commenters on WOL

Comment is about the perfect word (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks for your comment on BITCH. I use the term bitch because I think sometimes when women act the way they choose instead of conforming to what's expected they are labelled a bitch and basically if that makes me a bitch then yeah well thats what I am. However thats other peoples perception of the word not mine! Hope that helps.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks for comments :-)

Steve - yeah, i see what you mean :-)

Isobel - They used to teach punctuation when i was at school too. It's mostly those flippin' colons and semi-colons that confuse me. I'm proud to say i got 96% in English language and 97% in English lit in my GCSE's but that was a very long time ago :-)

Comment is about The One That Got Away (blog)

Quaint? How dare you! ;) (Thanks Francine!xx)

Comment is about museum diary part 2 (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Thank you, Steve. :)

Comment is about Half Closed (blog)

Thank you, Cynthia. My dream journal entries are my poems, and some dreams fade fast while others remain strong. Where I am in life now is at a crossroads, but if I can change, then I can change for the better. And I hope so.

Comment is about Cruel Dream (blog)

I really like this. So true :)

Comment is about Good effort (blog)

Thanks Cynthia, as ever your comments are appreciated xXx

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I really like the snapshot views of the goings on in this quaint little museum!

Comment is about museum diary part 2 (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Cynthia, Re: Rain on PVC - your comments and insight into a fairly unusual poetical theme much appreciated - this really did begin life as raindrops on a pvc coat and then developed a journey all of its own as highlighted in the final stanza

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Just as marvellous as the previous one. You're mining a rich vein of material here, Ann

Comment is about museum diary part 2 (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

In answer to your question, Cynthia, see my previous comment below. I first wrote it last summer but wasn't really satisfied with it. I did some tweaks to it last week - one line and a couple of odd words - and suddenly I thought it was ok at last.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Greg, just for my own benefit, is your last poem a sonnet? Or am I getting wonky?

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

It is a good, original poem, Dave, a personal story for each reader to write. I have no sympathy for persons who must be motivated by other people to 'meet the morning'. Not every day is a 'poem' day. Even if such a nice guy says 'Thank you.'

Comment is about No point; point (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

I had no idea where the poem was going. It took me right off-guard. Very well-written, and highlighting a subject much more common than we think, although maybe not as aggressive as this example. The resignation of the 'staff carers' is a chilling statement; how hard it must be for any such 'helpers' of any addiction, to go on day after day without hope of benefitting the addict.

Comment is about Jagged Edges (blog)

Yep. All of the above. Great list. Not exactly in a 'poetry format' ie, turning on shorter lines with some kind of plan. Whom are you trying to convince, actually? Presumably, without a male counterpart, Mankind would not exist either, since women are not yet self-sexuallizing.

Comment is about Woman (blog)

Original item by Paulyn Lloyd

Excellent sentiments. Can't, for the life of me, understand why it has to be termed 'Bitch'. But that's a term often used with great affection in some circles, and equally scathing disrespect in others.

Comment is about Bitch (blog)

Original item by Paulyn Lloyd

This is probably proving the law of diminishing returns - but such fun to do :) I have quoted verbatim from 2010 diary, so did not edit as such. Seemed to go against the grain. I'm afraid there may be one last one!

Comment is about museum diary part 2 (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

This is a very forceful poem, Melissa, addressing a powerful subject of control over other people...the unknown 'they': 'so without question, they decided what was best for me' strikes hard. Interesting that you swerved from the honesty of 'where I was in life/I could not survive/nor care for another' to 'Maybe,I needed to change...' Big, big 'Maybe'. But, maybe, the dream sparked clear thinking, if not outright commitment immediately. It's well-written too.

Comment is about Cruel Dream (blog)

I still love the idea, but I don't think this is quite as good as the first one. IMO, taking out small verbs and pronouns would help tighten it up - jottings instead of sentences - to press forward with more energy.

Comment is about museum diary part 2 (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Good effort. :)

As a suggestion, reduce this by half the words and see what you might get by being much more choosy.

Comment is about Nurture a blank mind (blog)

This brought a smile. Things are sure to pick up as the weather improves, but in the meantime what an opportunity to WRITE

Comment is about museum diary part 2 (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Many thanks for the kind responses. I would say this poem was quite hastily written but I Liked the idea behind it. Not sure I ever finished it right.

Comment is about Endless Talk of Floods (blog)

Original item by Tom Harding

More news from nowhere! Again, everything is from the museum diary. As I browse through it, there seems to be a sense of mounting hysteria!

Comment is about museum diary part 2 (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Scholarly piece Ray - enjoyed reading about a disturbing subject tackled head on

Comment is about Jagged Edges (blog)

Thanks Dave, it's one of my darker pieces, thought it was about time I put one up! ;) xXx

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Greg

I've been on Merseyside since 1974, glad to be exiled from Harrow - there's no pull to return.

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Maybe because we are afraid to stay open to this world with all its problems and all its tragedy, but we can't stay shut down either.

Thank you, both. :)

Comment is about Half Closed (blog)

Thanks very much, Isobel, for your comments on the Betjeman poem. I had been wrestling with it for some time before I posted it, so I was surprised and pleased that you and others thought it was ok.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Glad you liked the Betjeman poem, John. I've just read A Shropshire Lad - not a typical Betjeman at all. It's got a very interesting rhythm, just like the one that Anthony picked as his favourite.

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Thanks for your comments on the Betjeman poem, Dave. I'm amazed, though. I hadn't got you down as an old Harrovian.

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Moira, Thanks for sending in the photo for your profile pic. Winston

Comment is about Moira Eribenne (poet profile)

Original item by Moira Eribenne

The one word that comes to my mind in this poem, though also others of its ilk by you Peter, is "care". You care about such things with a passion. And I know that in the past you have taken action as well as written about such subjects. Brilliant, important, visceral, yes indeedy.
And, good reminder Dave, On The Beach should be on every school curriculum.
Two weeks ago I was talking to a chap I know in Millom, on the Cumbrian coast south of Sellafield. In that area you cannot even venture the subject in a local pub, as so many of the people work in the plant. The topic - infant leukaemia, incidence of cancer among the workers - cannot be aired.
My pal, who owns a garage up there, admitted that lots his contemporaries, workers at the plant, had been lost to cancer. And he lowered his voice as he said it. Perfectly safe of course.

Comment is about I am Mox (blog)

Very much like a nightmare with so many facets making the whole -

Comment is about Nightmare (blog)

Biting the bullet seems a good idea considering what's in store!!

Comment is about Biting The Bullet (blog)

Original item by Cate