Hi Cynthia. Many thanks for the kind comments on my poem. In response to your question - it was 50/50. The majority of the poem came out quickly but several lines took a long time to finish. I'm not sure I ever got it right.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I like the way you pull the reader in, Dave.
I agree with Petrova... I too was asking myself 'What do they know?'

Comment is about Our secrets (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

very nice. i couldn't help but read this in cohen voice + slow synth drum backing.

Comment is about Clown (blog)

Hi Elaine, thanks for the feedback on "Twisting Knives", much appreciated.

With regard to "When nothing expected..." it's deliberate, "nothing's" is too neat & proper & I wanted this piece to be anything but that. Also the line is more like nothing ever than simply nothing is.

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

I absolutely love this. It reminds me of an early Jo Shapcott poem, though I forget it's name, and actually I prefer this.
The imagery is lovely; very astute with regard to lost love.
xxx

Comment is about the quality of silence (blog)

Hi - thanks for your comments Elaine (ammonites, etc)
all the best. B

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

I loved the understated way your poem addresses the horrific recent events. "I too am sharpening my pencil" is superb - pen mightier than the sword and all that.

Comment is about Endless Talk of Floods (blog)

Original item by Tom Harding

This is lovely:
"The puny concrete cap
The draining salt bath saps away
And reveals the rods that sweetly sway
All happy upon their release"

Very provocative and very effective, i would say.
Would love to hear you read it.
xx

Oh and it reminded me of Threads too. Terrifying.

Comment is about I am Mox (blog)

I like the fact that your poem is short yet packs so many references in. Am I being picky / dense perhaps but it seems to me the waves aren't something benevolent that can wash away the horror. Would "wish" put a different spin on it rather than "think"? I guess the subject matter is going to evoke very personal responses. I very much like "cherryspit".

Comment is about Nagasaki Shadows (blog)

Original item by Nash

Nearly in tears myself - so lovely and touching but not soppy! The last verse grounds the poem but it's all subtly said without overkill. Good luck with the elastic!

Comment is about I Dreamt You Were Little Again (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

or is the cycle always complete

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Powerful and scary - evoking the right mix of emotions to provoke the audience (this will be / has been (?) brilliant performed). Loved "cooking of the kidneys" - horrible but also nice touch of black humour. Or is that just me!

Comment is about I am Mox (blog)

Would love to hear this performed, Dave. The rhythm of the repitition is wonderful. I think Petrova's comment "what do they know?" is likley to be quite a common response but that's the point of what you are saying I think.

Comment is about Our secrets (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Some very powerful images here: "They’ve emptied dictionaries tonight" - fantastic line.

Comment is about alpha et omega (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Everything we said last Tuesday - love this poem. Really appreciate how succinct and evocative it is. x

Comment is about FLOUNDERING (blog)

Loved the surreal feel - the clue's in the picture you posted with the poem! Perhaps it's the "On waking" and then in line 5 "I hold.." that might throw the reader - not quite sure if you really have woken or not.
I like how you end on a question. xxx

Comment is about on waking (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I'm so glad it left you wanting to know more. Believe it or not, the rest of the story is just the filler. I really wanted something small that almost took you into a story, then pulled back and left you with nothing but curiosity.

Comment is about A Single Night (blog)

They're soaked in the walls of houses,
but kept from the ears of spouses.

Realy clever lines those 2 Dave. Win ;-)

Comment is about Our secrets (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Dave. This trip was a couple of years ago. This year (Sept) I am doing something called the Raid Alpine which is tough. Thanks for googlizing. In the world of pro cycling the olympic title has not been as highly regarded as in other sports. Glad you liked the poem. Win x

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Ooh, like this a lot. Got a bit excited at first and thought, "what do they know?" Then caught a glimpse of the title again and said to myself, "oh, aye! Read the title silly!"

Excellent piece Dave, light hearted but thought provoking & deep all at the same time! x

Comment is about Our secrets (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Loved "smoke signals" I thought you captured very well the behind-the-eyes dramas of man & woman in that particular moment.

The omega, "to ashes" was just so painful, I could bleed. Well written and a reminder of why I choose to be single right now! "Desolation Street" - it's simply too sore. xXx

Comment is about alpha et omega (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

I know the feeling! Often wish my memories would bog off & give me a rest too. Nicely put John xXx

Comment is about FLOUNDERING (blog)

the first gives me shivers - marvellous.
"as innocence steps into the night to hail the last cab on the street". = perfection !
as Isobel says - "wonderful crafting".

Comment is about alpha et omega (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Hi Terry,

I enjoyed this little snapshot. I'm not usually too keen on "first person" poetry, but this worked for me simply because of the enigmatic twist at the end. Those last three lines take the poem in an entirely different direction.

I think you could lose the second stanza, which doesn't add anything in terms of "direction."

The best quality is that it leaves the reader wanting to know more about our trio - asking more questions than it answers.

And I'm a sucker for dimples too - wherever they're situated on the female form (blushes!)

Short, succinct, stylish.

Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about A Single Night (blog)

Ha - dont listen to grumpy old Graham (not unless you agree, that is ). I love it. And you are right about dreams anyway - say what you like, do what you like - it's your dream ! BTW - in my dreams it's always trains (missing, wrong one, etc).

Comment is about on waking (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Rachel, Interesting writing. Welcome to WOL. Winston

Comment is about Rachel Rose Reid (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel Rose Reid

I'm not a mum and you managed to tug at my hardened heart strings. Loved it.

Comment is about I Dreamt You Were Little Again (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Hi Andy changed my posting, will work better , i have some work on my profile and will post some more.

Comment is about My book Air of Fall (blog)

Original item by Chris Lawrence

I agree with Anthony here Chris. Worth looking at the link as it was a bit fiddly getting it to work, and that will put people off.

Samples I always think are important on things like lulu.com.

Good luck.. A

Comment is about My book Air of Fall (blog)

Original item by Chris Lawrence

thank you Dave xx

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

thank you Anthony. just a brief return for now I think because of this ‘story.’ I’m somewhat caught up in it and others like it right now and needed to express some part of it all. thank you for your kind words. I hope you are well: )

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Thanks Anthony - any words from the master much appreciated. B

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Beautifully put together John.

Comment is about I Dreamt You Were Little Again (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Hello Greg. Thanks for the tip re correct way to allow dead goldfish to mature prior to consuming. I shall certainly bear it in mind for next time.

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

I will post two pieces from the book that appeared in Troubador21 magazine, thanks for looking Anthony

Comment is about My book Air of Fall (blog)

Original item by Chris Lawrence

Hi Janet,

I don't think this needs any tinkering with. You're having us on! It works well for me, the line breaks being effective punctuation. Don't chuck it away again!

Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about The One That Got Away (blog)

Hi Dave,

Now we all know who knows! Nicely thought out and constructed. I guess you could take the last line a few ways. So, what's your secret?

Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about Our secrets (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Ann,

I always admire those who dare write about their dreams. Yours seem very well defined and vivid. Do you have a hankering for the Harem?

Do you believe that dreams have meaning - or are they jusy our brains doing their "filing" while we sleep? Loved "whale thick sea."
The only dreams I ever seem to be able to remember are the recurring ones ; especially those where I have the ability to fly. I never want to wake up from those.

Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about on waking (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Alan

Welcome to WOL . Looking forward to seeing your samples.

Winston

Comment is about Alan Gillott (poet profile)

Original item by Alan Gillott

Hi Chris,

Just to let you know that your link isn't working - you need to include the "lawrencejoefish" in the link. I did take a look at the site/book after some tinkering, but was disappointed to find that there were no samples of your work. Why not post some here?

Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about My book Air of Fall (blog)

Original item by Chris Lawrence

Mornin chuck

Re cycle haiku - there's a question mark because although we've got to the end of the poem, we haven't got to the end of the cycle. It questions the notion of being complete, because the cycle cannot be so :)

You weirdo, having a clean teen bedroom ;p

Comment is about Shoeless Carole (poet profile)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

Arthur Haynes, eh?
I knew him before he wrote all them manuals.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

A great poetic call to conscience to all those who have held, and continue to hold, the foolish and evil belief in human autonomy that has damaged the world so badly over the past few decades.

Particularly good lines...

'Fellow-prisoners know, but not mates

The barmaid knows, but not dates.

They're soaked in the walls of houses,

but kept from the ears of spouses.'

Big cheers for contemporary gnostics.

Comment is about Our secrets (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Mr Pew ?(pugh)... I dunno - you young 'uns - no proper education. Hmph ! (clue - Charlie Drake)

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

ah - dylan Thomas - I see - you're way ahead of me there. Seriously - I've nothing against the Welsh - just a bit of a laugh :D
and churches - I'm not mad keen, but pretty ones like Cartmel Priory are a revelaton. I much prefer old mosques & minarets for some indefinable reason - I dont really know why, as I have no particular like or dislike of islam

Comment is about Shoeless Carole (poet profile)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

you crack me up Ann- whaddya mean you dont know what's going on ?it's just me, in church, behind two old biddies gossiping & putting the world to rights - that's all. xx B

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

ps I love the new profile piccie - one can really see the likeness!

Comment is about FLOUNDERING (blog)

This is a bit of a change in style for you John. Don't recall you ever writing anything so dark or serious. Your poem is simple and stark - you express yourself well. x

Comment is about FLOUNDERING (blog)

Wonderful crafting. I love the title and the generic nature of the relationships - (does that word work in this scenario?. What I am trying to say is that the women involved are not necessarily the same - though I have the feeling it is the same man. I got the feeling that something had been sacrificed in the beginning and the loss of innocence is what could have led up to the failed second relationship.
The poem would also work if it were the same woman in both situations. I love the way that it is open to interpretation. All a bit sad and Casa Blanca - but you do it so well.
Better hit the 'add comment' and see what a load of drivel, I've just posted :)x

Comment is about alpha et omega (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Graham, I don't have lizards in my bedroom in Cornwall in March - or any other time. What are you like? :)

Comment is about on waking (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove