I think this need a health warning - it's enough to awaken the dead including Tanaburs.
I hear they need a town crier in Aberystwyth. Failing that the fog horns packed in on the Anglesey light house. They could play this.
Enjoyably OTT.
Comment is about Tanaburs (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Hi Steven - welcome to WOL. Hope to see more of your poetry on here soon :)
Comment is about Steven Parker (poet profile)
Original item by Steven Parker
Well I'll be damned! Sorry Charlotte, trouble with this job, can't do right for doing wrong! Oh well, hope to make it up to you sometime, but all in a good cause if you're at Uni! Looking forward to your guest slot! X
Comment is about Charlotte Henson (poet profile)
Original item by Charlotte Henson
DAMN YOU JEFF I JUST NOTICED YOU BOOKED TONY WALSH ON MY BIRTHDAY AND EVERYTHING AND I'LL BE AT UNI THEN. DAMN YOU.
Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Not to joke about it at all, but heart failure sounds a lot more poetic - there has to be a poem in that.
I'm glad to hear that you are well now.
Isobel x
Comment is about Richard Tyrone Jones: the heart of the matter (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Not a massive heart attack, but massive heart failure, and the facebook event is https://www.facebook.com/events/206236279489229/
Cheers, RTJ
Comment is about Richard Tyrone Jones: the heart of the matter (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
I hadn't considered the thing about performance being different to page. Yes - the repetition would work well in performance - and in song.
Can't make my mind up whether I like the new version better. I'd be inclined to go a whole lot further - so that you aren't telling at all - just showing. I don't like the 'It's a ' openers. I'd like a page poem that just hit me with a lot of images expressed in a flowing poetic way. That's just my opinion though - everyone who reads it will have a different one. At the end of the day you have to stay true to your own voice and style.
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
you are a better woman than i, editing on a saturday morning :) , i tried taking the line out of your poem on paper and yes it was still a poem with a little editing . i still see the advantages to both versions :)
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Reet - had a good think about it, and came up with this. Let me know what you think.
And thanks shoeless and Is - appreciate it. I do think this works better now that I got up off my arse and did something about it ;)
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
no need to respond tsk ! :) I discussed this with my mate ;) and he commented quite rightly I feel that the repetition is perfect for a read aloud poem . but loses some of its beauty on the page, the poem has so many other interesting ideas , the infertility of a berryless bramble I particularly like .... xx shoeless c . (otherwise known as really rather knackered lately )
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Well actually - I think Shoeless really has a point - I like her idea. Say it in the title and then let the metaphors work for you - it would feel a lot less 'Love is... ish' if you know what I mean. But there's no need to respond to this - you've already made your feelings clear.
I liked the prism line best - light is so important to life that it is the best analogy for happiness you can get.
Maybe it's a sign that I'm getting old, but I sometimes think that love without risk might be quite cosy and comforting...
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Thanks, Steve. Line-endings in verse 3 are odd, maybe, deliberately so.I thought the narrative was straightforward enough but the motives and psychology not so much.
Comment is about Sexual Politics (blog)
Strewth, JC - you should put a "deaf" warning
on this! I had to shake my headphones free from my ears when your burst forth.
Not being familar with the source material, I
still liked the tune used.
Comment is about Tanaburs (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Thanks again for all the suggestions folks
Repetition stays, lovely shoeless :)
Ah bugger it, can't think of owt better so title stays too.
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
She looked a bit of a hottie to me. Was it a babe shoot for 'hello' magazine?
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (poet profile)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Yvonne- I will not tell you that the foto is not of my living-room; nor is the previous semi-colon appropriate or not otherwise; but that one was.
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (poet profile)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
ok , i have read this a few times and i think
laura: 'you think ?'
me: 'yes occasionally.'
That the title is good , if you ....... take it out of the rest of the poem entirely. I like the poem without the repeated first phrase
constructive criticism i hope x x
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Brief and to the point - oh, sorry, there's no point.
Clever! Please don't tell me that's a photo of your room!
Comment is about You do not hear my voice. (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Ah I see my newly acquired yorkshire accent has fooled you.
Fancy coming to Donny without letting me know - I'd have got out my best teacup and saucer. You'd still have had to have a mug as I've only got 1 cup as you will have noticed from my poem's title - 'A Cup'
Ref. Askern pond yes you're right except it was taken with a wide angle lens off the far west of Brittany. The view would have been much nicer if that silly woman hadn't got in the way at the last minute.
Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
...hi marianne..I'm sure there's something I don't understand..but I really enjoy the clash of images and feelings in all your poetry.
Comment is about Pure (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
thank-you Cynthia. I went to sea at 17, so when I muse on this I write very quickly and these are the images I find..also religion and time are man-made ideas.. so I dismiss them in order to think clearly.
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
By the way....
....is that Askern pond behind you in the photo?
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (poet profile)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
I didn't know you were Mancunienne; I thought you were a Doncastrienne.
Incidentally, I was in Donny today. What I don't understand is why is it whenever I go in they let all the prisoners out for the day?
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (poet profile)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Wow, thanks Ann. Any more rock poetry, anyone? How about rock with poetry written right through it, like Blackpool?
Comment is about Simon Armitage, Marsden rock star (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Hi again, Chris, I have just updated my poem and altered several lines. :o) Thanks again.
Comment is about Chris Co (poet profile)
Original item by Chris Co
Many thanks Ann. I'm looking forward to participating.
Mike
Comment is about Michael Lewin (poet profile)
Original item by Michael Lewin
The premises is provocative...the imagery well constructed - with some memorable phrases. The care behind the whole is clear to see.
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Just a mite depressed by some of the misery that appears...as if there wasn't enough in the world.
This was recorded in his studio by the ever obliging Pete Dymond and his excellent singer Marcie Summers.
Check them out on YouTube.
Comment is about WHEN YOU WALKED INTO MY LIFE (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Kiss empty of Bliss...?
Good one, Laura!
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Steve,
Tried to follow the `clues` in this...(I know someone who plays the card game interminably)
The single lines say it more concisely: There`s no option really, so just sit there and let it happen...The rest of the poem gainsays the bit about starting fires, and even the spring, when it comes, is `late and cold`...the total effect is acceptance of Life.
The form puts the `story` over well (but, for me,
dismally)...as one of the `hardening arteries` I couldn`t disagree with the `story` less.
Comment is about Patience (blog)
Original item by STEVE RUDD
Laura,
good poem indeed.
It is well capable of applying to a wider, more
universal application.
Why not `Life without risk` ?
(I know I risk execution for demoting `love`)
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Here in Cornwall there has been considerable regeneration going on in the Redruth area and Bob Deveraux (who is a fab person and poet and runs the May & September St Ives Festivals) has some of his poems carved into rocks on the site. There is a website about Heartlands but it seems to be down at the moment :( So I've just pinched the following from Bob's info site.
"Heartlands
Heartlands is a new visitor attraction developed on land that was once part of the tin mining industry in West Cornwall. Now part of the “Cornish Mining Landscape World Heritage Site”, mine buildings have been restored and developed into art exhibition space and gardens have been designed to tell the story of Cornish emigrants around the world. A poem by Bob about these emigrants (the “Cornish Diaspora”) is carved into
12 granite boulders that form a work by David Mackie entitled “Seams and Veins”."
Comment is about Simon Armitage, Marsden rock star (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Hi Michael - welcome to WOL. I hope you will enjoy becoming part of the site.
Comment is about Michael Lewin (poet profile)
Original item by Michael Lewin
Cheers all
Erm, yeh, might pass on that title Ray! Yup - 'bond' works better (y'hear that Rach? heh), thanks, have changed that now.
Yes - I do intend 'crackled' as it gives a sound and an image :)
Thanks Rach - will keep berryless bramble, cos I really like the sound of it.
Still not stuck on a title yet. Can't call it 'Love is' cos that's too much like those endless bloody cartoon strips. 'Bed of dust' dunt quite get across what I'm saying.
Hmmm.
Ta though :)
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
how'd you get a whole orchestra in your house to do this MC?
Lovely words. 2 love songs in a row. Are you going soppy on us? XX
Comment is about WHEN YOU WALKED INTO MY LIFE (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Too true...the ignorance and insouciance of youth. A great read.
Comment is about Civvies (blog)
Thank God I don't like football. But as a mancunienne with a foot in both camps I can currently claim 'We won! We won!. Te he. xx
Comment is about Fergie, Fergie (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Love it. Great images.You could call it 'Love is ...'
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Zethembiso, thanks for your recent comment on 'tv' lyrics. i mentioned the band as i think its a great song. i quite often put song lyrics on to encourage them as a form of poetry, but i must admit its usually when i cant think of my own :p
a friend of mine taught me some swahili once, he was from nairobi. sadly my memory is terrible..i remember 'jumbo' but not sure how to spell it, but better still he showed me the african way to handshake! ;0
we painted big sheets with africa/uk designs for the church where we worked together in the cafe and played a lot of african music cds, it was definately evocative of an african way and certainly brightened up our dull grey english church :)
beautiful,
thanks again x
Comment is about zethembiso mkhize (poet profile)
Original item by zethembiso mkhize
I agree with Harry. Some powerful imagery and a definite flavour of Hopkins here.
A very evocative piece of writing.
Cate xx
Comment is about Bowers Row Second-hand Memories (blog)
Original item by C Richard Miles
Te he.... I want one.....I want one....
Cate xx
Comment is about Kitchen - Made (blog)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
as usual very well written with interesting verse structure and nice rhythm and flow,
but mostly fantastic content with fascinating imagery that both challenges and suggests intriguing metaphor.
i love it. dont care if its risky ;) i would say that for the 2nd verse i would have the berry with no bramble to describe the riskless love...but that is just my perspective, that riskless love may indulge the juices and bounty of the berry but not take with it the pain of the thorns that come with the risks of a partners prickly full personality. as ive said tho i like the challenges it presents. its great.
thanks laura, quality read x
ive heard for picking titles that a good method is to select a phrase from your own personal favourite line.
i would pick from this...bed of dust.
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Here's my suggestion for a title: Then The Ann Summers Rep Burst Into Verse.
I liked this, this bit most of all
a berryless bramble, no flowers
or sweetness, or prickles on skin
For rhythm's sake you want "passionless bond"
Do you intend crackled in penultimate line, not cracked?
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Thank you for your comments on "Surreal" Cynthia. I just needed to get my thoughts down, and here seemed to be as good a place as any.
I know what you mean about having to study and work hard to attain a certain level of sympathy as that did not come so naturally to me either.
Thanks again.
- Josh
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Brendan, I'd definitely be up for coming up and attempting to justify naming myself after my city of birth...
Comment is about Gary From Leeds (poet profile)
Original item by Gary From Leeds
Thanks Cynthia for comments on my Housel Bay Hotel poem - I have made a few changes (tho not to the audio - too lazy!) Changed the title too. Ta for the advice. xx
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Yvonne Brunton
Sun 20th May 2012 23:34
I'm pleased that you did not tell me that the picture was not of your room. I like a modicum of suspense. Oh, and thank you for the spare semicolon. I have put it in my bits and bobs drawer for future use. XX
Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)
Original item by Tommy Carroll