Good theme - very universal. Always good to see you posting.
IMO, I suggest two changes - for rhythm and verb tense respectively:
With each sunset
sunrise waits'
and
here in downy refuge lies
(unless you are using 'lay' as 'song' which doesn't quite work either.)
Comment is about Moving On (blog)
Many thanks, MC. You're right about this having its linkage with a previous poem, but not the last one - I think; more like "The Naming of the Parts". Certainly - I re-used the pic.
Comment is about Hey There, Vagina (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Excellent review, Dave. I hope to get the book in the New Year.
Comment is about On Euclid Avenue: J Fergus Evans, Flapjack Press (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
I take the view that the nominee is a pathfinder
in poetry - someone who has gone before to open
up new avenues for those who seek direction and
their own means of literary adventure and exploration.
Well deserved.
Comment is about Write Out Loud's Julian Jordon nominated for 'unsung hero' award (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
You lucky lot. And Gaia too. If only 'wishes were horses.'
Comment is about Rhyme and metre and the rhythm of rail at Sowerby Bridge (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Really enjoyed the musical setting and the
inventive lyrics and wonder if there is any
connection between this post and its predecessor?!
Poor young mankind - it's such a strain
When the dick controls the brain
A cool eye - like a medico
Would help that ready,steady, go.
Heading heedless for that funnel
Like an express train in Box Tunnel.
All that coming and all that going
All that tiring to-and-fro-ing.
Nature's got one way of knowing
If the grass was worth the mowing...
In nine months will a kid be showing?!!
Comment is about Hey There, Vagina (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Hahaa :D I've heard it, it's bloody great :D
Comment is about Click It (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9wiGEDdcQc&feature=youtu.be
Comment is about Writing In Fire - live version (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Howdy - re McGarrigle's Glasgow. Thought about it, grew to really like it, have changed it. Thanks Cynth!
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Thought about it, grew to really like it, have changed it. Thanks Cynth and Darren!
Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
I have voted!
You deserve to win, Julian. You are inspirational.
Comment is about Write Out Loud's Julian Jordon nominated for 'unsung hero' award (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Hello Stockport WOL! - I've just seen info about an award - "Unsung Hero" - and Julian is one of the people nominated. I'll be voting for him of course! - just thought I'd mention this! Dorinda x
Comment is about Stockport WoL (group profile)
Original item by Stockport WoL
And then maybe a video with relevant dance moves?
Comment is about Click It (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
A welcome update, Starfish. It would be nice if common-sense prevailed.
I myself have a soft spot for beavers.
Comment is about Reprieve (blog)
Original item by Starfish
Agreed with Steve and Starfish, Dave. Audio! Audio! Audio!.
Comment is about Click It (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
Very poignant, MC. I particularly like the phrase "manifest its worth".
Comment is about THOUGHTS AT CHRISTMAS (2) (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Brilliant piece of writing Tom. I was truly enveloped by it.
Nice work.
Mike
Comment is about Fulfillment (blog)
Original item by Tom
Hello Aaron, yeah I really feel for you in this piece. I have been that man too whom has presented himself at A & E when I have been severely unwell. I suffer from PTSD and have a diagnosis of Schizophrenia. And yes, fully understand how you feel about those that are said to treat us. I have been a revolving door patient now for near on twenty years, and still there seems no cure in sight. Theses mental illnesses are perhaps the worst type of suffering a human being can go through, as it degrades you like no other illness. In the main most of those I have come into contact with, do want to cure, but there are some who shouldn't be in the care team of the psychiatrist, who in honesty may not hold the answer to well being. I guess it's about coping mechanisms, and learning to live with it as best you can. It's something that may take a lifetime, for a lifetime of abuses experienced, but until the world changes that's who it will always be.
I have tried to take my life several times because of these maladies, and as for normal people, please take solace that they don't have the brain power you have, and are for all intents and purposes, dumbed down; for it is said that those suffering from Mental Disorders use more brain than that of so called normal people. I guess, having a higher than average intellect is just as much a handicap, as those born with severe impairment of the brain.
Hey, it takes time, but life does get better.
Please believe that. I sit now, even with all my suffering, and frequent attempts at suicide, with a wonderful wife, and two children to my name who we both adore. It's not easy living with Mental Ill Health, but there are still those out there who do not judge you badly for your suffering, despite only gaining attention when someone who has mental ill health, kills someone else. We are in the main painted in a bad light, but, we feel more than others, for we truly know suffering, we truly know the unfairness and degradation of human spirit. It is an experience, one that i wouldnt want my children to suffer. And to that end, I am bringing them up with all the love I didn't have as a child, for that in essence, is where it all stems from.
Best wishes and much love to you.
Mike
x
Comment is about The Mind F***er (blog)
Original item by Aaron Dinsdale
Sun 15th Dec 2013 21:16
Pathway is beautiful
Comment is about NICK ARMBRISTER (poet profile)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER
Thanks for looking in on my efforts,
best wishes,
Steve
Comment is about c byrne (poet profile)
Original item by c byrne
Sad thing is, there are still plenty of tyrants around who will demand the deaths of young men. Mugabe, Kim Jong-un to name but two . .
Comment is about THOUGHTS AT CHRISTMAS (2) (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
The internet is changing the world, even shopping! Think Starfish is right- a audio entry is required!
Steve
Comment is about Click It (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
Well expressed, I can imagine myself there!
Comment is about Hidden horizons (blog)
Original item by Andy Ainsworth
Stimulated my interest Frances. I have been a long time fan of Isaac Bashevis Singer of whom we hear little these days. His Jews are real flesh and blood people with the same strengths and weaknesses as the rest of humankind, people who "are not only Nazi victims but victims of their own personalities and fate" (intro to "The Enemies:A Love Story". (Penguin 1977) New York's Jewish Daily Forward, a Yiddish newspaper must have been really forward, and brave, to publish his warts and all stories of life through Jewish eyes.He won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1978. Any reason why we hear little of him these days?
Dave
Comment is about To Sing Away the Darkest Days: Norbert Hirschhorn, Holland Park Press (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Sun 15th Dec 2013 18:20
Your samples are great! Thanks for sharing.
Comment is about Steve Higgins (poet profile)
Original item by Steve Higgins
Kenneth Eaton-Dykes
Sun 15th Dec 2013 17:06
That's a lovely thought, so profound, and "Christmas puddingly", rich in content
Comment is about THOUGHTS AT CHRISTMAS (2) (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Hi Steve - writing screenplays was/is a great
experience, not only the discipline of creating
a story but the translation of it into the
correct format...and being able to accept
rejection as "the norm". Certainly, I found
the best way was to send an intro. letter/
email first to invite any interest "without prejudice". My biggest achievement was to have
a script solicited by the VP of production at
Paramount Studios in Hollywood - almost unheard
of in a $$$$$ industry that is paranoid about
accusations of plagiarism and the possibility
of lawsuits!! It wasn't taken up but, almost
two years to the day, a film called "Hard Rain"
appeared which contained many similarities to
my own submission. That always intrigued me!!!
Now I'm having as much fun and satisfaction with songs and verse. It all helps keep the
mind active and busy in retirement.
Cheers - and good luck with your own material.
Never give up.
Comment is about Steve Higgins (poet profile)
Original item by Steve Higgins
An interesting/entertaining view on the availability of online shopping.
Personally, I value it...with a large extended
family to consider, especially at Christmas.
Keeping in touch via email (far more often than
was the case when letter writing was "the norm")
plus remembering birthdays at short notice is to be welcomed!
Comment is about Click It (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
You should read at Chinley station John, except that, of chins, you appear to me to have but the one. Excellent poetry, excellent readings. Greg, you are too self-effacing. You read some wonderful poems in your excellent set. Well done Freda. I won't mention the dandelion and burdock. Oops.
Comment is about Rhyme and metre and the rhythm of rail at Sowerby Bridge (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Hi Cynthia I'll send you a copy of my current book Work Horses. I've run out of copies of the one before called In the Distance. Still, if you can't get enough I'm siure you'll get a cheap copy on Amazon. Anyway, I hope you find some stuff you like it it. BEst wishes DAvid
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
With great pleasure:
Cynthia Buell Thomas,
#3 Willow Tree Court,
Brooklands Rd., Sale'
Cheshire, UK
M33 3SE
Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)
Original item by David Cooke
thanks Cynthia for your comments on strange love. am always a little nervous about comedy pieces about what is funny or not, writing serious pieces is often much more easy i think but am pleased you like this. thanks gray
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
thanks Patricia &Stefan and Cynthia for your comments here. am always a little nervous about comedy pieces about what is funny or not, and like i told you andy before while this is a fictional piece, there are elements which are true, most of this thankfully is fiction! lol but i am grateful you like this. it means a lot to me. thanks gray
Comment is about Strange Love (blog)
Original item by Gray Nicholls
<Deleted User> (6895)
Sun 15th Dec 2013 11:12
Doesnt matter which 'bit'you put yourself into,we were right there behind you-camera in hand!
great piece.xx
Comment is about Strange Love (blog)
Original item by Gray Nicholls
<Deleted User> (6895)
Sun 15th Dec 2013 11:07
Julian's right. Voting for this is a vote for WoL in all its guises and publicity is valuable. So vote!
Comment is about Write Out Loud's Julian Jordon nominated for 'unsung hero' award (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Alas only until the next cull :(
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Comment is about Reprieve (blog)
Original item by Starfish
I think we need an audio entry of this one!
Comment is about Click It (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
I like this. I like the description and also how at the start "This year is charring in the fire grate" and at the end you "Toss my wondering on the fire", bringing it all together.
Comment is about Fulfillment (blog)
Original item by Tom
Thank you for those comments. And, to whoever nominated me (taking the p…?), thanks also.
It's embarrassing and underserved. Write Out Loud is the product of a team of excellent and truly dedicated people (Paul, David, Greg, Isobel, Laura, Ann, Frances, Michael) who keep the website ticking over and steadily developing; and a community of writers, publishers and organisers who submit gigs, poems, articles and such. This includes our Write Out Loud coordinators.
It aint me you are looking for, babe.
But, if it gives Write Out Loud some much-needed press…
Aagh!
Comment is about Write Out Loud's Julian Jordon nominated for 'unsung hero' award (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
What do I write for the security question "what is the colour of the sky"??
Comment is about new free online social network from the poetry school (blog)
Original item by c byrne
Don't forget to vote, folks! Deadline is midnight on Monday night.
Comment is about Write Out Loud's Julian Jordon nominated for 'unsung hero' award (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Julian. I'm so happy that you have received this nomination and it is very well deserved. Does the Panda award involve the receipt of a cuddly black and white furry job? In which case I have plenty of bamboo to hand should you win.
Comment is about Write Out Loud's Julian Jordon nominated for 'unsung hero' award (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
<Deleted User> (9882)
Sat 14th Dec 2013 10:52
sooo cosy an ending,to a great poem.
one suggestion though-
natures decorator is poised
to paley paint in,the new year'
?....x
Comment is about Fulfillment (blog)
Original item by Tom
<Deleted User> (9882)
Sat 14th Dec 2013 10:44
Thanx Greg, its also the festive get together so as is tradition, if anyone wants to bring some festive party nibbles, that would be very much appreciated thanx for your support and all the best for 2014! X
Comment is about Host Jeffarama! takes centre stage at Write Out Loud Bolton (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Thanks Steve! I'm glad u found favourites in 2 of my poems :) thanks again
-Shevaughn
Comment is about Steve Higgins (poet profile)
Original item by Steve Higgins
What chins? Blame the camera angle, John! I'd been standing for a long time, and had to sit down. I've been re-reading '7 O'Clock Brit' in the anthology. I love that poem, more with every reading.
Comment is about Rhyme and metre and the rhythm of rail at Sowerby Bridge (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
well Shevaughn I met a gal on some penpal site I joined when I couldn't sleep in the summer. i went to see her in the Philippines. shes as crazy as me lol. same interests too. no lectures when i get a new tattoo or want to go to the plane museum or see a goth band. im different and will die for what im into and believe in.cant be doing with fly by night cowboys lol. stay happy young lady and true to you. always.:)
Comment is about HIS LATEST FLAME/FUGITIVE (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Mon 16th Dec 2013 13:20
It is good. I just don't quite like the 'as' in an opening line. Would you even consider:
Small rivers on the train window
rain refracts grey light, distorts landscapes
IMO, the alliteration and musical quality takes on a new breadth. Just a thought.
Comment is about Hidden horizons (blog)
Original item by Andy Ainsworth