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Sat 31st Oct 2009 11:59
This is a fantastic piece michael, it really puts the torch on not only the age difference but also social interests between generations. I liked the shakespeare abuse of being 'a sad loser' very funny but also a good example as most young people would say that. Overall i enjoyed it.
Comment is about English Teacher (blog)
Original item by michael shepherd
Sat 31st Oct 2009 11:25
Hi Neil, thanks for your comments on Cemetery Gates, the reference to the dead lying in line is more a reflection of her not being able to move in in that even they aren't bothered that she goes back mourning day after day, all a bit morbid I know! cheers Jeff
Comment is about Neil West (poet profile)
Original item by Neil West
Sat 31st Oct 2009 11:03
Hi Clare, love your poems. Thanks for a great day on Sunday and congratulations again on winning the Big Issue competition.
Here is a small ode to your kind friend
Thank you for the journey
Your pleasant company
Although your name is Sheila
You’re Muriel to me:)
Comment is about Clare Kirwan (poet profile)
Original item by Clare Kirwan
Sat 31st Oct 2009 00:32
thats me then x
Comment is about From Beneath Hades. (blog)
Original item by Kealan Coady
Fri 30th Oct 2009 23:51
Looking forward to seeing some poems...
Comment is about Nikki Bennett (poet profile)
Original item by Nikki Bennett
Patricia and Stefan Wilde
Fri 30th Oct 2009 23:39
half agree with 'cardinal red'carroll,less perhaps one 'm'.personally loved the last three lines.john,since if we assume to be loved,what about the middle ground,the meeting of hearts?or is love deemed to be always one sided?and rach' the stinky man has probably made the same mistake as me,bought asdas own brand of body spray.crap!
Comment is about Romantic Delusions of a Naive Youth (blog)
Original item by Jessie
Fri 30th Oct 2009 21:25
I love this...especially the last two 'stanzas'. It never ceases to amaze me how we 'wait' for another to be, somehow psychic, and to anticipate, or understand our pain...you 'never told him'....I 'never told her'...and yet, we await their 'understanding'. Why? Lovely stuff. Thank you.
Fri 30th Oct 2009 21:11
Fri 30th Oct 2009 20:56
Hi again Jessie
I think I got into poetry a bit late, and have little confidence in the writing, and perhaps less as a 'performance'. It's just for my own amusement.
The poems of yours that I have read are really good, and you should give performance a go. You have the confidence of youth on your side.
I don't often venture over the Pennines, except went to The Howcroft in Bolton the other Sunday, but the WOL crowd seem generally welcoming wherever.
Give it a go! Your stuff is worth a go. Would you go by yourself? Do you know others who perform?
Comment is about Jessie (poet profile)
Fri 30th Oct 2009 18:59
better to lie under the tree with your delusional anticipations than have some stinky man come spoil the moment.
I really liked this x
Fri 30th Oct 2009 12:53
John it would be a very different world if we were all focused on the future I think we d be savages with no reflection, guilt or remorse.
The mesosphere idea is just that 3 layers of night could be the equivalent of hell above us and perhaps heaven below just as you describe with you thought reversal pattern. Kealan maybe the greeks would have us in mesosphere as a form of pergutory. youre dead right we wouldnt be there breathing...not even the giants.
anyway back to earth...
Between courage and heaven
There are heroes in doorways
These are the lines reminding me of the homeless.What were you alluding to here?
Fri 30th Oct 2009 12:31
Cynthia, you're exactly right.. the guy in question is part of a large local family; I guess they've worked out the options -- including selling out when the row of smaller shops he's in, become profitable sales !
Our district's 'Main Street' and 'Second Street' swing over the years -- like so many in towns. As the house prices go up, upmarket shops with hopeful owners risk their all !
Three early delicatessen ventures in the same shop failed before the current one established itself and its élitist prices !
In this case, I changed the poem title as I posted it here.. but it's almost always (except for the jokey ones) that 'tiny explosion' in the mind that says, here's something worth pursuing... and whatabouchou..? (Cue for song..)
Comment is about Hardworn (blog)
Fri 30th Oct 2009 11:26
Enjoyed this, good work. Ever heard 'Canons of Christianity' by Phil Ochs?
Comment is about Fear Theory (blog)
Fri 30th Oct 2009 11:01
Graham I missed my Dad leaving and it haunts me still. A very moving piece,well done.
Comment is about Departure (blog)
Original item by Graham Sherwood
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Fri 30th Oct 2009 11:00
Super poem; runs with the humour ball to a cheering touchdown! If it weren't so true, it wouldn't be so funny. Great observations.
Comment is about In Many Ways, My iPod Is Better Than Your iPod (blog)
Fri 30th Oct 2009 10:55
Very good. Well argued with some very strong points and imaginative presentation..Thanks for the warning.
Check your typing so that your ideas are not compromised. eg religion; If 'you're' a hardcore Catholic ...
Fri 30th Oct 2009 10:43
This is a charming poem. And I take your point of nostalgia clearly.
It would seem that Shopkeepers #1 really had business acumen. They understood the psychology of continued customer allegiance; they obviously saw the handwriting on the wall of non-availability of outdated hardware goods in Standard Measure; and they got out while they still had some profit and 'sprightly youth' to enjoy it.
Believe me, I am not denigrating the 'community participation' of small town/village shops. They were a marvellous part of my own background. But as a modern business woman, I advise Shopkeeper #2 to encourage his clients to alter their expectations of finding 'ancient' parts. The DIY's in our area are very pleasant and helpful, even in 'metric'. We shoppers have to grow up; mechanical progress waits for no man.
What comes first with you - the poem or the title?
Fri 30th Oct 2009 09:49
Thanks for reading.Comments left on Ronaldo blog. Win
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Fri 30th Oct 2009 09:12
Great response Steve. The darker side of the siren, from temptress to gutteress, to waking up on the Sunday morning next to a nameless face and not remembering what you did the night before after a cocktail of drinks -( not that I ever did that, more of the treat em mean keep em keen girl way back when I was younger).
Nice bit of grit steve, nicky x
Comment is about Siren on the Rocks (blog)
Fri 30th Oct 2009 08:46
I'm at a loss to explain that poem too. I guess some poetry is just about juxtaposition of words and images and not designed to be understood. You would have to love or hate that style just as you would the type of poem that hands it to you on a plate... Sorry for poking my nose in - was just interested by Marianne's comment.
Comment is about Graham Sherwood (poet profile)
Marianne Louise Daniels
Fri 30th Oct 2009 02:35
i didn't take what you said as negative criticism at all. i guess some people just are trying to conquer their own hurt on a grand scale to make sense of things. this is probably the most personal explanation i have given and anybody who doesnt say they are doing that is, in my opinion (and i can deseve a backlash), is a liar. if it is cryptic, then it is a puzzle to me too, and thats why i have to write it down.
thanks for the comment.
Thu 29th Oct 2009 23:28
Loved this Ralph,great to see / hear you the other night
Comment is about The Loveless (blog)
Original item by Ralph Dartford
Thu 29th Oct 2009 23:23
Lessons of loss
loosens me, to the dot
of somebody's pupil
blinking me away.
Is a fantastic segment of words.
And now the TV dies and everyone stands for the national anthem. The BBC is closing down.
Comment is about Lessons of loss (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Thu 29th Oct 2009 23:17
no credit card. no iplod. :-)
Thu 29th Oct 2009 23:16
Neil, great idea... go from being unapppreciated, for free, to being appreciated, if you pay them to ?...
Comment is about Surgery (blog)
Thu 29th Oct 2009 22:51
Great evening, top poetry!!!! :)
Comment is about Andy N at the Waterside Arts Centre, Sale October 2009 (photo)
Thu 29th Oct 2009 21:59
Looking forward to hearing you at Hebden Catherine. An interesting challenge. Good luck. Winston
Comment is about The Hitch-hiker's guide to Poetry (article)
Thu 29th Oct 2009 20:58
eee i look like a deep grooved ould trout...ah well its my words that count eh?
Comment is about Julian Jordon comperes at the Old Boar's Head, Middleton October 2009 (photo)
Thu 29th Oct 2009 20:49
Looks like you tried to blog and ended up posting a comment on your profile. Why not have another go at blogging. The poem is good fun and well written, and good value for a blog.
Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
Thu 29th Oct 2009 20:43
Hi Marianne, I think this is fabulous. I love the language and the images. Having as I do a bit of a dull mind, can you tell me what it's about?
Comment is about Victory Gin (blog)
Thu 29th Oct 2009 20:37
Hi Graham. As I browsed the blogs this one stopped me in my tracks. A very moving piece and brave of you to share something so deeply personal. Ultimately I guess it's a part of life at least half of us will experience at some time.
Thu 29th Oct 2009 19:57
I've managed to break two i pods and can never work the damned things anyway - don't know what that says about me! Great observation H.
Thu 29th Oct 2009 19:55
Hi Michael, enjoyed the poem, I think it has a kind of tumbling fluid structure that makes the surfing reference seem all the more relevant. I'm glad you didn't have to have an injection! Have you considered going private???
Nice Rhythms here
Comment is about Korma girl (blog)
Original item by Andrea
Thu 29th Oct 2009 19:48
Yes I agree with Cynthia, these words stand out. Very polished indeed. Well done Ralph.
Thu 29th Oct 2009 19:45
Marianne, please don't take this as a negative criticism, but I don't get it. I've tried and tried to understand what you are trying to say but I can't break it down. It sounds like a Bob Dylan song lyric, very clever but indecipherable. I'm feeling pretty uncool and very thick.
Thu 29th Oct 2009 19:06
Some nice concepts to think about.
I sometimes wonder if we would be better or worse off if we could only see the future (and not the past) - as we can't; or if we could only see the past (and not the future) - as we can.
Any road up, that's all very well but can you answer me a more relevant question ( for me, anyway). How can I post any more poems on my profile page like you have just done with this blog? John
Thu 29th Oct 2009 18:43
perhaps the hell concept came in as our lungs would explode in tormential quantities of pain at that layer of 'sphere'
Thu 29th Oct 2009 18:39
hey jeff...loved Glastonbury poem. Ha what a shit like dive of foul cow turd pie..yuk. watching people get shitfaced and roll around in cow shit is not my idea of fun either. fuck glastonbury! parties in a cow field can be fun however but make sure you dont get crushed in a stampede or anger some big bull. portable ghetto blasters are a must for easy jumping over hedges ;)
Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Thu 29th Oct 2009 18:27
3 layers of night...taking us to the mesospheric layer. not sure if its hellish hot though as the temperature there can be - 130 C. Curious
Thu 29th Oct 2009 18:04
i dont have a credit card !!
Thu 29th Oct 2009 17:56
I haven't got anything monogrammed or engraved on mine, and it certainly isn't new but it does the job, my credit card is less tuneful but frequently cheers me up just as much.
Thu 29th Oct 2009 17:32
:) i have a new ipod this week , its engraved on the back , and i love it so very much ,
Thu 29th Oct 2009 17:06
Appreciated for thought, sound and music.
Comment is about no adventure (blog)
Thu 29th Oct 2009 16:54
Some very innovative lines here: 'Warm radio noise', 'The October drizzle mourns', 'the death of the sweet pea' , 'soon the soapsuds will sigh' - really the wow factor, Mr Dartford.
Thu 29th Oct 2009 14:29
I'm keeping my powder dry this month (so to speak).
I got all giddy last month, and where did it get me?
I'd paid for at least 4 votes.
I've still got my speech ready though.
Thu 29th Oct 2009 13:15
welcome to Writeoutloud
Comment is about Gildae (poet profile)
Original item by Gildae
Thu 29th Oct 2009 12:47
Got there at last. Well done Nicky - a huge improvement on the earlier tottering structure
Comment is about Bone Dry (and Destitute)- the plight of two children. (blog)
Original item by Nicky Burrows
Thu 29th Oct 2009 11:45
Absorbing and penetrating, with several concurrent plots, a clear sense of place and time, and psychology, with the observation of clothes revealing the personality so acutely. The use of repetition is very skillful , the 'never-changing plot' emphasized. The play on the word NOVEL in the title is clever.
Michael, I don't know why I comment. I must look like an idiot, but I do persist. Let's face it: I'm 'star struck!' Just tell me where to get off, and I will.
Comment is about A Novel Situation (blog)
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