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M.C. Newberry

Sat 20th Jun 2015 15:50

David - using the word "mob" in the context, it is defined as a "disorderly crowd of people" and since "disorder"
crosses a range of behaviour - from obscenely vocal to the physically offensive - my own observations place the "SS"
among the more easily inflamed assemblies with
political overtones when lapses into violence become
frequent - and more effectively orchestrated.
More placid causes that provide little opportunity for their
rabble-rousing antics have little attraction for them but
these are outnumbered by the rest that we see on the
streets, especially here in the capital.
Finally "most types of mobs" allowed me some pleasing
alliteration to catch the eye in the opening line. If you
think of it as artistic licence, I won't object.

Comment is about THE SOCIALIST SHIRKERS PARTY (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 20th Jun 2015 15:38

Apart from the shine of the words themselves, the aura of real intimacy glows. The second stanza is really lovely.

Damned if I know whether anal intercourse is part of this, or not, but probably not. 'violation' could suggest almost anything.

Comment is about Beholden to Behind (blog)

Original item by Katy Megan

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 20th Jun 2015 15:28

Well - I really laughed. A little humour at the expense of fine poetry suits me fine - when it's so obvious, you can just enjoy the fun.

Comment is about That Shallot (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 20th Jun 2015 15:14

I had to come back to this work because I really like it, and just ran out of time before. The subject is superb.

May I suggest culling unimportant words that construct 'prose-like sentences'. You have strong, evocative words here, setting clear images. I would give them full force, impelling your 'scene' forward.

Do you know what I mean?

Comment is about Vaccary Walls (blog)

Original item by Graham Ramsden

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 20th Jun 2015 14:55

Great lines on a largely unknown/ignored scientific situation. Apart from your shared thoughts here, I appreciate the update.

Comment is about Universal Time Co-ordinated: June 30th 2015 (blog)

Original item by Margaret Holbrook

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 20th Jun 2015 14:45

IMO, a splendid poem, creating a believable character, her personal history and life-supporting dreams, in a few well-chosen, polished words. WOW, Mr Young.

Comment is about the education of norma (blog)

Original item by jeremy young

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Tommy Carroll

Sat 20th Jun 2015 14:33

Would that be a regular handshake Ray?

Comment is about UNDUE CEREMONY (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Margaret Holbrook

Sat 20th Jun 2015 14:30

Thanks for your comment, not a head for equation type things, so can't answer, I'm afraid, even though I do find it interesting.

Comment is about Universal Time Co-ordinated: June 30th 2015 (blog)

Original item by Margaret Holbrook

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Tommy Carroll

Sat 20th Jun 2015 14:27

I was that man
;-) Tommy

Comment is about My Lottery Win (blog)

Original item by Pauliegreg

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Tommy Carroll

Sat 20th Jun 2015 14:24

Haha good riddance ;-)

Comment is about This God Forsaken World (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 20th Jun 2015 13:52

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Stu Buck

Sat 20th Jun 2015 13:01

Hello,
Thanks for the kind words regarding 'molecules'. Your work is confessional which is hard to write for me (i prefer to keep a distance) so I will follow your progress with a keen eye.
Have a great day!

Comment is about Ash (poet profile)

Original item by Ash

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Tommy Carroll

Sat 20th Jun 2015 10:53

Good morning Ash, what a coincidence! Give me awhile to read them. :-)Tommy

Comment is about Ash (poet profile)

Original item by Ash

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raypool

Sat 20th Jun 2015 10:37

Thanks for all your responses to this one. I did cut to the chase, and although I do have a sense of wonder it does not preclude common sense!

Comment is about IT'S FUNNY HOW RELIGION ARRIVES (blog)

Original item by ray pool

<Deleted User> (9882)

Sat 20th Jun 2015 10:20

ditto previous comments.If I hear those wrongly coupled,contradictory words 'Holy war' again-I'll scream.

Thank you.

Rose.x

Comment is about IT'S FUNNY HOW RELIGION ARRIVES (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Greg Freeman

Sat 20th Jun 2015 09:51

It has to be said, the racism revealed in his letters, written in the early 70s, is shocking and abhorrent. And he idolised Margaret Thatcher. And yet I love Larkin's poetry.

Comment is about Larkin to get Poets' Corner memorial (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Ashley Limon

Sat 20th Jun 2015 09:13

Wow. I was moved by this. Its simple but speaks so loud. Bravo!

Comment is about taxi (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sat 20th Jun 2015 08:17

your poem trips off the tongue nicely Ash but stumbles in places and perhaps loses momentum towards the end. I like the shampoo line but I'd split it like this:
'and when you lay your head on my shoulder
all I smell is your coconut shampoo'
and similarly:
'and randomly wake up just to say
are you alright?'
- separation helps to highlight the important words.
I would be tempted to end:
'and you brought me light
I never knew existed'
which leaves the poem slightly open-ended. Just my opinion of course. Good luck.

Comment is about Ash (poet profile)

Original item by Ash

<Deleted User> (13947)

Fri 19th Jun 2015 23:36

I read this a few days ago and it has been repeating itself in my head every since. Mostly the one line in which you described the child's face after your smile. 'Like sunshine dazzling through clouds' How beautiful :) Such a wonderful read.

Comment is about Child in a Stroller (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Tommy Carroll

Fri 19th Jun 2015 21:35

Indeed Ray, it seems that religion came into being from wonderment and fear then someone noticed an opportunity and the rest is bloody history. Fine post Ray. Tommy

Comment is about IT'S FUNNY HOW RELIGION ARRIVES (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Tommy Carroll

Fri 19th Jun 2015 21:25

Incredible that such situations exist - "putting the brakes on [ time/mass] = C ... have I heard of this somewhere?

Comment is about Universal Time Co-ordinated: June 30th 2015 (blog)

Original item by Margaret Holbrook

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raypool

Fri 19th Jun 2015 20:50

Thanks M.C.for your fulsome comments on 'can poetry lift the spirit', which expressed a very exact commendation on the art; it certainly would not do if everyone had the skill for then there would be no requirement for it I feel.

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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David R Mellor

Fri 19th Jun 2015 20:24

sorry tom its just the way of the world ,thanks for comment

Comment is about The NEW Ten Commandments (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

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Tommy Carroll

Fri 19th Jun 2015 20:17

Tut tut

Comment is about The NEW Ten Commandments (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

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Neil West

Fri 19th Jun 2015 20:08

Hi Stu, thank for reading the monster poems! In fairness, you look quite young from your avatar, it was Swamp Thing, Godzilla then Dracula but you can have a sticker for trying.

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 19th Jun 2015 16:29

Welcome to WOL, Vanna. And you must feel free to express yourself in making comments upon other person's works also. Sharing is a big deal on this site.

Feeling confident enough to accept advice/constructive criticism is a sure sign of a sincere writer. And you never have to take it, just consider it.

Comment is about Vanna (poet profile)

Original item by Vanna

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M.C. Newberry

Fri 19th Jun 2015 16:19

Poetry lifts the spirit when it enables us to see the ordinary
in an extraordinary way, or touches some inner core of
feeling that mundane words cannot reach, or expresses
something for those who lack the means or the moment
to make that leap of imagery and human emotion yet
know the joy of its existence.

Comment is about CAN POETRY LIFT THE SPIRIT (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Stu Buck

Fri 19th Jun 2015 15:10

Hi,

Got them all except the fifth. Not sure about that one, except maybe loch ness monster?

Otherwise I'm hoping its Frankenstein, Mummy, Werewolf, Creature from the Black Lagoon and the last is Dracula. I enjoyed this more than a thirty year old should i think!

Comment is about What Monster? (blog)

Original item by Neil West

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Graham Sherwood

Fri 19th Jun 2015 12:34

In Vanna's piece the last ten lines are reasoning, pure and simple.

Comment is about Facing A Break Down (blog)

Original item by Vanna

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GAURAV JAIN

Fri 19th Jun 2015 11:00

Okay Sir,

Thanks

Comment is about Rules of Success ( Kamyabi ke Niyam ) (blog)

Original item by GAURAV JAIN

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Graham Sherwood

Fri 19th Jun 2015 10:19

Thought provoking Vanna!

Whilst I agree that we are, all of us, only an eggshell away from mental failure (to use HT's definition) it is the ability to continue to reason that keeps us balanced on the high wire.

PMA, self-esteem etc are all governed by the ability to reason. The better the reasoning, the calmer the ride.

We do however have to make time to reason, think, meditate etc.

Comment is about Facing A Break Down (blog)

Original item by Vanna

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Vanna

Fri 19th Jun 2015 05:23

Thank you :)

Comment is about Their Story (blog)

Original item by Vanna

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Vanna

Fri 19th Jun 2015 05:22

Thank you. Any advice and/or constructive criticism is welcome. I love writing, and some I wrote years ago.

Comment is about Happy Ending (blog)

Original item by Vanna

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 18th Jun 2015 14:23

Sorry Gaurav, I have tried to do it too and did not have success either. I will seek advice.

regards,

Graham

Comment is about Rules of Success ( Kamyabi ke Niyam ) (blog)

Original item by GAURAV JAIN

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GAURAV JAIN

Thu 18th Jun 2015 13:21

Sir,

i tried.
but i did not find were is the add poem option.
i m confused how to translate poem.
please help me if u can.


thank u

Comment is about Rules of Success ( Kamyabi ke Niyam ) (blog)

Original item by GAURAV JAIN

Lynn Hamilton

Thu 18th Jun 2015 13:13

I enjoyed the whole but those first four lines are just so.

Comment is about look see here she comes (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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GAURAV JAIN

Thu 18th Jun 2015 12:54

ji haa aakash bhai................ bas thoda bhut likh lete h

Comment is about GAURAV JAIN (poet profile)

Original item by GAURAV JAIN

aakash

Thu 18th Jun 2015 12:27

Bahut khub Gaurav CA ki padhai k sath sath kavita likhne ka b sauk farmate hai kya aap

Comment is about GAURAV JAIN (poet profile)

Original item by GAURAV JAIN

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 18th Jun 2015 09:29

Gaurav, I don't know whether this will interest you but you can perhaps translate this into English to obtain a wider audience.

If you cut and paste you poem into the Translation Wiki under the more title on the homepage, you could give it a try.

Go to Homepage
Click on More
Add poem
submit your name
paste your poem

I have never done it but give it a try

Comment is about Rules of Success ( Kamyabi ke Niyam ) (blog)

Original item by GAURAV JAIN

<Deleted User> (13762)

Thu 18th Jun 2015 06:34

I sometimes wonder if writing poetry is a bit like watching a football match or collecting stamps where the variations are endless - but ultimately the outcomes are much the same - a pointless waste of time to while away our earthly hours.

Comment is about CAN POETRY LIFT THE SPIRIT (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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raypool

Wed 17th Jun 2015 22:24

This is great news when a genuine observer and commentator on life is rewarded amongst the "greats" of society who may have garnered their place by judicious placement .

Comment is about Larkin to get Poets' Corner memorial (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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John Coopey

Wed 17th Jun 2015 18:38

Got that wrong didn't I, Corr?

Comment is about DAVE DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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John Coopey

Wed 17th Jun 2015 18:36

Interesting observation, Corr. It didn't occur to me to test the theology with empiricism.

Comment is about THE POWER OF PRAYER (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 17th Jun 2015 16:49

When it appeals to the likes of "Terry and June" it will
surely be gaining ground (for those with memories of a
famous TV couple!).

Comment is about Calling Terry and Julie: poetry bookshop is opening soon near Waterloo (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 17th Jun 2015 16:42

Further to my previous comment, I look forward to the
opportunity of submitting self-financed publications to
this planned poetry "shop window" and wait on the
information needed to follow up. I'm sure there others
with the same idea, beyond the usual poetry publishers.

Comment is about 'There's no reason why poetry should have such a small readership': Paul McMenemy on his plans for a poetry bookshop (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 17th Jun 2015 16:22

Harry - somehow I am left with the thought "Clapped out"!!
:-))

Comment is about HONOURS UNEVEN (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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Nigel Astell

Wed 17th Jun 2015 13:34

A thumb a forefinger perfectly placed
write lines that are ripened once read.

Comment is about Beholden to Behind (blog)

Original item by Katy Megan

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Corr Lens

Wed 17th Jun 2015 10:40

Love the pace. First of yours I've read I'm excited to read the rest!

Comment is about THE 19TH FLOOR (blog)

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Corr Lens

Wed 17th Jun 2015 10:37

<3 is all. Very nice as always.

Comment is about Missing You (blog)

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Corr Lens

Wed 17th Jun 2015 10:34

typical Dave.

Comment is about DAVE DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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