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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 29th Aug 2010 14:45

Outstanding, Dave, a real jewel to be revisited many times.
Is there a meaning of 'chum' beyond 'friend'?

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 29th Aug 2010 14:35

Lauretta, this is really good, an excellent theme from boyhood drooling to real experience, developed with poetical and sensual skill. The last few lines are superb.
Have you noticed the even greater freedom of lingerie advertising on telly recently, or of body washes?

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Greg Freeman

Sun 29th Aug 2010 14:31

Hi Ann. Yes, I went on an Arvon course in 2004, for prose not poetry. I hadn't really looked at the small print, but when I got there discovered the course was primarily designed to root out bad habits. It was tough. I think I wrote my best piece at the beginning of the week, and my worst at the end. Two people left the course in midweek. We were given a template to construct fiction, and I could see the sense in it, but I don't think I've ever used it. Write the kind of poetry you enjoy writing - I guess that's obvious - it shouldn't be like a grinding school exercise. But sometimes it's enjoyable to try something new. And read as much as you can. And don't beat yourself up about not getting published. Blimey, that's good advice. It's about time I started following it!

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 29th Aug 2010 14:23

This will appeal to a lot of readers, Pete. It has many relate-able images and strong emotions expressed with vivid language. It covers extensive ground.

Comment is about on the verge (blog)

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Sun 29th Aug 2010 13:57

You are welcome dear Lady-despite being a southerner-but a blummin gorgeous one to boot!(not physically I hasten to add)massive bag of kisses'n'ugs-Stef-xx(B-xx)

Comment is about MERMAID (blog)

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Banksy

Sun 29th Aug 2010 11:45

yes, I know, but there's nothing like a quickie every now & then ;)
- seriously - I wanted it short & straight to the point.

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Lynn Dye

Sun 29th Aug 2010 11:33

Lots of social comment in this one, Dave, and totally agree with all of it. Good piece, Warm regards, Lynn x

Comment is about Future Archaeology (blog)

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Lynn Dye

Sun 29th Aug 2010 11:26

Love this, Dave. It does get the imagination conjuring up images. Really good poem xx

Comment is about Lovely chum (blog)

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Lynn Dye

Sun 29th Aug 2010 11:18

Hi Alain, thank you for your kind comments on "Candyfloss", much appreciated. x

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Lynn Dye

Sun 29th Aug 2010 11:01

Thanks Stefan, fish n grips could be right, hey! lol. xxx

Alain, thank you for kind words, naturally I can't speak for all females though!! x

Larisa, appreciate your advice, and your rhyme is very good, but on this occasion I think it would alter my meaning too much - I am hinting by the lady not being a dancer, that she may be ready for romance! xxx

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Isobel

Sun 29th Aug 2010 10:47

I agree with Chris - you could so develop this. x

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Lynn Dye

Sun 29th Aug 2010 10:46

Thank you kind sir :-) Love, Lynn xx

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Isobel

Sun 29th Aug 2010 10:45

Some people do have fascinating ways of expressing themselves - hands being a great one. I think I told you about the person I knew whose every sentence was prefaced by a tongue poking out - most disconcerting - a horrid habit - I'm amazed no-one told him about it. I digress.... nice poem x

Comment is about Lovely chum (blog)

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Sun 29th Aug 2010 10:39

See! what the flips wrong with that! good poem Lynn-thanks-Stefan-xx(B-xx)

Comment is about MERMAID (blog)

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Lynn Dye

Sun 29th Aug 2010 10:34

One for the kids!

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Lynn Dye

Sun 29th Aug 2010 10:14

This is so lovely, Ann. I was tempted to try a mermaid poem after Bernadette gave us the image, but I feel my attempts are rubbish in comparison, lol. Love, Lynn xxx

Comment is about mermaid wedding (blog)

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Lynn Dye

Sun 29th Aug 2010 10:10

I think the video is so funny, Ann, thanks for making me smile so early on a Sunday morning! Love, Lynn xxx

Comment is about Oh No! It's Dance Round the Kitchen time again! (blog)

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Lynn Dye

Sun 29th Aug 2010 10:05

Beautiful poem, Stef. (Didn't see it before changes!) xxx

Comment is about Neccessary sacrifice (blog)

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Chris Dawson

Sun 29th Aug 2010 09:55

Nice beginning. Or possibly ending. Needs more, I feel.
Cx

Comment is about don't let go (blog)

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 29th Aug 2010 09:06

No, I didn't spot the anyone in a blue cardy - sure it wasn't a blue rinse? There's a rather nice guy in a Fairisle pullover though - might be you? 'Cept he's not so pale! Actually, the chap singin' is rather lovely. Think I'm gonna be the lady singin'! ;-)

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 29th Aug 2010 08:10

Just proves that it ain't never too late!

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Francine

Sun 29th Aug 2010 01:32

Mmmm... Lovely one.
Leaves a lot to the imagination... to make that move ; )

Comment is about Lovely chum (blog)

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Dave Bradley

Sat 28th Aug 2010 22:16

Gus is right - excellent, especially Cashy G.

Comment is about Two New Uns: Wreckuiem & Cashy Gs (blog)

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shoeless

Sat 28th Aug 2010 22:08

thats cool

Comment is about cryogenic (blog)

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John Marks

Sat 28th Aug 2010 21:46

Cheers for the notice Cynthia. Foggy!

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Gus Jonsson

Sat 28th Aug 2010 20:49

Well done Peter... a bit like me

Parts of me are slipping away.

Hope to c u soon
Gusx

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Gus Jonsson

Sat 28th Aug 2010 20:47

Hey up Gypsy girl

you just keep on getting better and better!!

superb... especially Csahy G's

Hope to c u soon

Gus xx

Comment is about Two New Uns: Wreckuiem & Cashy Gs (blog)

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Sat 28th Aug 2010 20:45

Hi Alain - thanks for dropping by and commenting on 'Future Archaeology'. Best wishes, Dave

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Francine

Sat 28th Aug 2010 20:15

How you perceive anything will determine your thoughts...

Comment is about The Word (blog)

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David Cooke

Sat 28th Aug 2010 17:53

AS ever thanks for positive comms. It was one of those things I wanted to write something about for a while and then out of the blue it came.

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Isobel

Sat 28th Aug 2010 17:00

I love the imagery in this - very original - don't recall anyone else comparing love to a blanket of snow...Your love poetry is always shot through with sadness - probably true to life though.

No disrespect to Stefan but I would stick with frame.

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Alain English

Sat 28th Aug 2010 16:41

A good piece, connecting the science of archaeology to the progress of man - nothing really changes, does it?

Comment is about Future Archaeology (blog)

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Alain English

Sat 28th Aug 2010 16:37

Very funny piece - and for a man, quite insightful as to courtship from a female's point of view.

Comment is about Candyfloss (blog)

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Alain English

Sat 28th Aug 2010 16:30

Loved it - you really capture the beauty of mermaids - well rendered poem!

Comment is about mermaid wedding (blog)

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Greg Freeman

Sat 28th Aug 2010 16:01

Cynthia, your enthusiasm always comes across as genuine and lovely, and your praise is prized, as it often balanced by careful criticism, and morale-boosting. Don't stop, please! The nomination was for WOL poem of the month, for next Jan! It is made by the month's previous winner, in this case David. I must admit it has gone under my radar in the past, but I guess it pops up in the Features section?

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Francine

Sat 28th Aug 2010 15:30

Tu me fais toujours fondre le coeur avec tes mots si sensibles et doux...

xxxxx

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 28th Aug 2010 15:11

Sexual Personae: Art and Decadence from Nefertiti to Emily Dickinson, by Camille Paglia, Vintage Books, September, 1991.

My friend in Canada forwarded this information, bless his pea-pickin' heart.

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Ann Foxglove

Sat 28th Aug 2010 15:04

Ayup Jim lad! I just added an audioo for yuoo! (With a bit on the end - of her tail!) Swish swish!! xx

Comment is about mermaid wedding (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 28th Aug 2010 15:04

This is very interesting, Josh; I like the way your mind works. Actually, IMO, the word 'why' is the one word least taken for granted; so I don't quite follow your logic here. I find the last verse rather limps to a conclusion rather than whamming home a goal. In today's world, pictures can 'lie' as well as words. You cannot believe everything presented as 'proof' in a photo. This is a sad state of affairs, to have such a rich idea reduced to doubt. But a young, modern writer does have to consider these things. Always with respect, as you know. See you soon, I hope.

Comment is about The Word (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 28th Aug 2010 14:45

Greg, do I sometimes come across as insincere? I would bend over backward to avoid that. But sometimes a poem makes me want to jump up and shout, the connection with someone else's mind feels so good!

What nomination?

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Ann Foxglove

Sat 28th Aug 2010 14:01

Just a daft ancient piece (much like myself!) xxxx

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Sat 28th Aug 2010 13:24

as per usual Pete,brilliant! one teeny tiny suggestion..retain/suspend instead of frame? thank you-Stef

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Dave Bradley

Sat 28th Aug 2010 12:31

Terrific. "search myself to smithereens" is just one of several very memorable lines. There's an awful lot in this one. I'm sure I won't be the last to comment.

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David Cooke

Sat 28th Aug 2010 12:14

Hi Greg, Nomination was well deserved. You're well overdue for recognition on the site. As for the pic, I hope it reveals the inner man. I was quite impressed with myself for 'uploading' it. Next hurdle is the MP3. Need one of the kids home to show me how to do that. Way too clever for me!

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Greg Freeman

Sat 28th Aug 2010 10:42

Hi David. Cheers for the nomination - a happy new year for me! The welcome news coincided with an email from a colleague congratulating me on a headline I'd written, which doesn't happen very often, I can tell you! He'd also spotted something in it that I hadn't, which almost makes it on a par with poetry. Almost. Thanks for your suggestions about my samples; it's true, I suppose, I must spruce up my act. Good to see your pic, too. Mine's a pint of cider ...

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Sat 28th Aug 2010 10:35

wow! fave song...(look of love)

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Greg Freeman

Sat 28th Aug 2010 10:32

Of course, I was hooked by the very first line of this, Ray. And I only noticed the title afterwards! It's well-structured and rich, but the funny thing is, to me there are two separate poems there. The second one begins, "the detritus of all the days." What do you think? The mood and language of the second half is quite different; more mysterious, and suddenly there are two people there instead of one. But Dusty ... don't get me started. What a voice, and what a girl! That Bacharach song is probably my all-time favourite

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Sat 28th Aug 2010 10:31

Good morning 'C'-have you tried catchin em-with a word netter? ta in the meantime-Stef.

Comment is about Fed Up (blog)

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Ann Foxglove

Sat 28th Aug 2010 10:27

I guess Greg I am attempting to write in a more reserved way, more minimal, less description, more "show", less "tell"! All due to the writing course really, but it will be interesting to see, if my poems "tone down", whether anyone will like them! Bugger!! ;-)

Comment is about field boundaries (blog)

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Ann Foxglove

Sat 28th Aug 2010 10:18

Interesting to read that you went on an Arvon course. I really enjoyed the one I just went on but it threw me a bit, I know I need to improve by masses and I have an idea of part of what is bad about my stuff, but it is so hard to try and refine your work without losing your poetry voice. Keeping at it is the best idea I guess! I haven't really tried sending off anything to poetry magazines, but there are so many! And of course, the rejection slips will make me question myself even more! Sometimes it just seems the easiest option to just write tons and bung it all on WOL (my strategy so far!)but that won't maybe get me anywhere in the long term. HELP!! xx PS Just saw your comment on my Field Boundaries poem. Thanks! You have spotted the change in tone. This is all due to the Arvon experience. Even the place is Totleigh Barton. xx

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