Wed 8th Sep 2010 15:44
You know you are getting old when you remember Harry Worth and can still do the mirror arm and leg action... adimttedly I was a babe in arms...
Comment is about old friend (blog)
Original item by Banksy
Wed 8th Sep 2010 15:41
I've thought about the phone some more. I suppose you must be mentally disconnecting - that is probably quite a significant line.
Comment is about The Psychology of Doodles (blog)
Original item by John Togher
Wed 8th Sep 2010 15:23
This is really good John. I like the subtle way the doodles highlight the underlying currents under the mundane conversation. Very ominous that she sees you with stars in your eyes, and you "slowly erase" her when its finished!
Wed 8th Sep 2010 14:58
Oh God this could only have been written by a man! Love it Dave, and the sentiment it invokes, but Ive never known nature be quick or slick!
However the protective feeling you have for your newborn is beautifully drawn.
Comment is about The Moment (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Wed 8th Sep 2010 14:56
Wow ! - at last Cyn - one I can both unnerstand and unashamedly heap praise upon. xx
(because of the former)
Comment is about Bite the Bullet (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Wed 8th Sep 2010 14:50
I really like this a lot. You've implied so much about two people and their relationship, just by their doodles. x (Mine are always spirals coming off more spirals. God knows what that means about me!)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 13:44
I prefer this to 'Paper' - same underlying theme but expressed more subtly.
Not sure how it has ended up being her on the phone and then you putting it down at the end. The very different perceptions of each other are neatly described in the doodle idea though.
It works well as a poem. x
Wed 8th Sep 2010 13:10
Profound messages indeed - that the majority of men can't handle committment or long term relationships! Love the whimsical ending also.
So glad you are on board. x
Wed 8th Sep 2010 12:41
hiya john...could you send me that turkish pulling poem please. My car is very dirty and needs washing again (it has a couple of marks on it)...will have to go see the lovely abdul x
Comment is about John Darwin (poet profile)
Original item by John Darwin
Patricia and Stefan Wilde
Wed 8th Sep 2010 11:23
Good morning Mrs H-hope alls well with you and yours-best regards-Stef-xx
Comment is about bernadette herbertson (poet profile)
Original item by bernadette herbertson
Wed 8th Sep 2010 11:21
Good morning lovely Odessa Lady! warm regards to you-and yours!hope you have a nice peacful day-see you soon Larisa-love-Stefan-xx(M-xx)
Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (poet profile)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Wed 8th Sep 2010 11:10
Hi Greg... thanks for comments on my recent haiku, If I have done what you say then I have done a good job. Economy of words with maximum meaning could be a good haiku writters motto. Win
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Wed 8th Sep 2010 10:33
Steven, I thought I had left a comment, but obviously not. I think this is really good with many outstanding lines. I like the conversational style too, and the ordering of the stanzas. One suggestion perhaps: 'Dying' is used in a slang sense, perhaps by intention to really infer 'Death', but maybe you did mean 'Longing'. "Longing' might be a very apt word here, that would pull all the ideas together. Entirely my opinion.
Comment is about Same Old Tired Shit (blog)
Original item by Steven Kenny
Wed 8th Sep 2010 09:47
A great read Andy. You are at home in this style mate. Win
Comment is about First Holiday in Ireland (blog)
Original item by Andy N
Wed 8th Sep 2010 09:45
Agree with Greg here Jackie, I like the way the colours weave throughout, makes it very vivid. And I like the form too, read aloud it washes back and forth - like Mediterranean waves - very evocative.
Hope you're well?
Comment is about Lemon trees (blog)
Original item by Jacqueline King
Wed 8th Sep 2010 09:44
Some great scenes in this mixture of strong images Andy. not sure how you intend it to be performed ? it would make a great song maybe. Win
Comment is about Chamber Music XIII (blog)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 09:40
Hi Andy, Thanks for your kind words re my recent haiku posting. Whilst you are spot on with your comments on this one (In that the reader gets a snapshot and is left in suspense) I don't thik this is always the case with haikus. Win x
Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 09:38
Thanks for your comments Greg, on my other poem aswell, makes you feel like plodding on :)
Comment is about English rain (blog)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:52
No, it's not rubbish at all, Jackie, rather a great collection of images!
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:49
Just stumbled upon this, Jackie. A lot of tears in this - "desperate sheets," "saddened clouds", "shuddering silence". I like it, although as a keen if unsuccessful gardener I usually welcome the rain!
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:23
close to a song this Dali in places, I must admit - reminds me of my last train journey to London (the other week).. it has that long, endless feel to me!
Comment is about ALMOST ALONE ON PLANET LONDON (blog)
Original item by Dali
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:19
great use of language here again Marianne, must admit i thought it was going to carry on for a bit longer than i thought it would be (always a good idea to catch the reader out - lol)..
nice stuff again! x
Comment is about Harpy (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:18
the note at the end was a wise move, dave but tone wise, the piece is a tender and soft, gentle and understated (at least to me).
love it, m8
(I am still working on my bite to bullet piece - you do realise there is a track by Machinehead who are a really loud rock band called this don't you??? lol)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:17
Hi - thanks very much for the comments. B
Comment is about reading the papers (blog)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:16
i have a similar opinion like Jo here, Marianne as in the fact i don't have a clue what is going on with the narrative, but the language is brilliant... the first line for example 'Affectionate and shapely fingers, forking fast but sometimes falling feline' which is a terrific opening for example..
top stuff, Marianne (Would hate to have to try and perform this however!) x
Comment is about The Eighty Eight Handshake (blog)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:13
Hi Cynthia - particularly like the ending here.. Nice one and great stuff on the rest of the piece also! x
Wed 8th Sep 2010 03:28
The more I read it, the more I like it. There are some profound messages in this.
Tue 7th Sep 2010 23:30
Thanks a lot!
Tue 7th Sep 2010 19:53
Ooh, this is delicious! I love the way that you play fast and loose with alliterative sounds, and it all trips off the brain-tongue in a VERY satisfying way. I don't pretend to understand what's going on in terms of a narrative, but I suspect there's more to it than I'm picking up. Is there more to say? I feel like I want more on 'the precipice' and its repercussions.
Tue 7th Sep 2010 19:37
I'm glad you added the footnote; I was ready to condemn all men to sheer idiocy. It is a lovely poem about an incredible 'moment'
Tue 7th Sep 2010 19:32
It is pure coincidence that 'obsession' appears here right after Steven's good poem. Normally, for that reason I would remove mine, but not this time since it is a 'themed' poem.
Tue 7th Sep 2010 18:29
Hi Dave. Thanks for looking at and commenting on my recent haiku. Liking the "bite the bullet" idea/comp. I will see if i can russle something up. Win
Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)
Tue 7th Sep 2010 18:12
So you let her out of the kitchen then... I love these snippets of your domestic bliss - they are very life affirming. xx
Tue 7th Sep 2010 18:02
I really liked this one Banksy. You do have huge variety in your writing.
Tue 7th Sep 2010 14:30
Peaceful, perfect day.
Tue 7th Sep 2010 14:13
Cheersonionioni, there was an underlying message here as I threw this together, your point is in there too!
Comment is about 2 mins (blog)
Original item by Christopher Dawson
Tue 7th Sep 2010 12:57
This is very good - very economical but each line adds a lot!
Tue 7th Sep 2010 12:54
Further - Thats a real compliment that you think it is musical as Ghazals are written to be sung. In their traditional form they are often cosidered twee or over sentimental. Winston
Comment is about Jo Mayers (poet profile)
Original item by Jo Mayers
Tue 7th Sep 2010 12:45
It's a shame you added that footnote Dave - I was looking forward to lambasting you! Yes - a quick delivery is the best a woman can ask for - there is nothing quite like that moment when all the pain is over though and you are handed this perfect being. You must be very in touch with your feminine side to understand that - the poet in you maybe.
I love the protective note that you end on - raw nature at its best. x
Tue 7th Sep 2010 12:41
Finally got round to reading this - I find it hard reading a blog that doesn't start with the line of a poem...
I would agree with you that language is marvellous to play with - I found the humour in there. x
Comment is about a mountain of crumbs (blog)
Tue 7th Sep 2010 11:43
Hi Jo, Thanks for your comments on my Pakistan Ghazal. It is a difficult form to write in English. Somewhere between a poem and a crossword puzzle. Winston
Tue 7th Sep 2010 11:34
Hi Andy... thanks for your comments on my Pakistan Ghazal. Its a massive subject isnt it. And one difficult to do justice to therefore. Win
Tue 7th Sep 2010 11:30
Hi Greg, Thankyou for your comments as ever on Ghazal (Pakistan) The line "Footsteps dissolved in our wake, signatures erased" was supposed to suggest fleeing from the flood waters which disolve and erase traces of their owners. but then again I suspect your know that. Win x
Tue 7th Sep 2010 11:19
Very sporty, Lynne, feisty, fast paced and strong; well written, keeps the reader totally with you. I have dumped a full G&T over a man's head; my rage was so great my mind blanked it out almost simultaneously so that I had no explanation to offer, even to myself.
Comment is about Deceived (She Bites the Bullet) (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Tue 7th Sep 2010 11:11
Ray, you are absolutely right. I puzzled much over 'redolent of vomit' but finally let it go, when, in fact, it was the key.
Comment is about Fading Out (blog)
Tue 7th Sep 2010 11:00
Hi Peter, Welcome to WOL. Hope you enjoy exploring the site. Winston
Comment is about Peter R White (poet profile)
Original item by Peter R White
Tue 7th Sep 2010 10:28
No argument from me. You've taken a 'dualism truism' of human nature and lampooned it cleverly; 101 Psychology in a nutshell with curt, effective language - all Anglo-Saxon perhaps? It's very good.
Comment is about Double talk (blog)
Original item by Antonionioni
Tue 7th Sep 2010 10:03
enjoyed Sad sally and her unique legs! ~ ~
Comment is about Andy Storey (poet profile)
Original item by Andy Storey
Tue 7th Sep 2010 09:54
Hi Andy Welcome to WOL. Looking forward to seeing more of your work, Winston
Tue 7th Sep 2010 09:11
Good morning Dave-dont worry at all about replies etc at all-obviously you have more important concerns-just hoping you keep well matey-thank you Dave-best regards always-Stef.
Comment is about Dave Dunn (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Dunn
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