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Martin Elder

Mon 29th Jun 2015 21:45

so beautifully put as usual Tommy. The emphasis on leaves and litter together with paint and puddles works so well.

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Katy Megan Hughes

Mon 29th Jun 2015 21:41

That I promise Mr Astell!

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Martin Elder

Mon 29th Jun 2015 21:39

Hi Autum
There is so much power in your poetry as personified by this poem. Keep putting on the blog. I look forward to more.

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Martin Elder

Mon 29th Jun 2015 19:35

Love such sweet sacrifice
rendered with just the right amount of pain !
Great stuff Rose
Another corker

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Helen Elliott

Mon 29th Jun 2015 17:45

Hey, hey :)

Thanks for giving me a little push to read a formal piece. I read Her Scent on Silk at open mic last night. Went really well :) x

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Nigel Astell

Mon 29th Jun 2015 14:27

You sweet stray nymph
your wild wayward desires
cease they must not.

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Stu Buck

Mon 29th Jun 2015 12:12

thanks all for the kind comments. it gives me much needed confidence!

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raypool

Mon 29th Jun 2015 12:09

great stuff Stu. It is really the threat and challenge of individuality turned inward or not being received . The metaphor expresses it perfectly.

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David Cooke

Mon 29th Jun 2015 12:04

HI RAy Glad you liked my Charlie Parker poem!'

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Rachel Bond

Mon 29th Jun 2015 11:02

Thank you x

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raypool

Mon 29th Jun 2015 10:54

I'm glad you like my simple poem Rachel - the fact that some people wear their faith like a new pair of glasses that last the rest of their lives. I like this poem of yours as it has an expansiveness and at the same a feeling of loss, and a condemnation of material things, essential to a wider view of life!

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Rachel Bond

Sun 28th Jun 2015 22:38

good poem :)

Comment is about JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES (blog)

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Rachel Bond

Sun 28th Jun 2015 22:32

like this..the pace faster and desperate as you describe the fog. cool

Comment is about burial (blog)

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David Cooke

Sun 28th Jun 2015 22:15

Hi Stu Thanks for kind comment on Teatime Bulletin!

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Harry O'Neill

Sun 28th Jun 2015 20:44

Oh, dear, Oh dear,

Far from wishing to cause controversy, I re-posted this as a personal reminder of my own, Christian Ideal of marital happiness.

I own absolutely that such a happiness is equally possible to any atheist or any other `ìst` whatsoever. (according to my lights God makes this kind of stuff available to anyone who strives for it)

I don`t mind the comments widening it, but would wish (seeing that this is a poetry blog) that they made any
points about it using the words of the poem.

These are `àbout` an urgent desire for attractive and sexually physical female beauty (including the child -bearing aspect of it), and a recognition that life afterwards would not be all a bed of roses, but end in final happiness.

I was half-expecting to be accused of indulging in an impossible kind of starry-eyed optimism...but there you are!

My - amused - concern about all this recent same-sex stuff is about what happens when they start suing for the restoration of `conjugal` rights. Or (the way it is going) when some starlet pleads to be allowed to wed her chihuahua.

Comment is about A poet at prayer (blog)

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David Moore

Sun 28th Jun 2015 20:27

Stu, a better description there could not be. It is one I frequently utilise for my condition of the need to write.

Comment is about burial (blog)

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Stu Buck

Sun 28th Jun 2015 20:22

Thanks david. I have suffered from the big 'D' for many years, possibly all of them, and it has only been the last years or so i have sought help. I have found poetry to be the best therapy I can get. its a form of cerebral emetic unlike anything else.

Comment is about burial (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

David Moore

Sun 28th Jun 2015 20:12

That has some interesting images painted into it Stu.

I see it as a metaphor for depression.

However it is a depression for which there is no relief (as in reality) although the sufferer is caged in his engulfing fog even when it clears there is no real relief, only the prospect of an even more evident loneliness.

I will re-read a few times I am sure.

Thanks.

Comment is about burial (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Lynn Hamilton

Sun 28th Jun 2015 15:12

Lovely. Frances ;)

Comment is about the paint and the puddles (blog)

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Tommy Carroll

Sun 28th Jun 2015 14:35

Hi Helen, I'm pleased that you picked up on 'melancholy'. Tommy

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 28th Jun 2015 14:25

Hugh this isn't the right forum to have a serious discussion about monotheism or atheism. I do not castigate anyone for being of a religious bent. One of my closest pals is a vicar. But you are wrong in your attestation:

"a good relationship founded on the loyalty of love is truly a gift from The Almighty".

I did have a choice and I chose well.

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Tommy Carroll

Sun 28th Jun 2015 14:15

Hi Helen, I'm pleased that you picked up on 'melancholy'. Tommy

Comment is about the paint and the puddles (blog)

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Tommy Carroll

Sun 28th Jun 2015 14:12

Hi Graham. I have re-wrote this piece a number of times over the last 5 years and most changes have been concerning "tears" & "pain" and countless rejigging around them. Even the use of "pain" in verse 2 was rejigged after posting half-a-dozen times.

The wind it tackles
The leaves and the litter
The leaves and the litter
The leaves and the past

The sun it dries
The paint and the puddles
The paint and the puddles
The paint and the past

I saw the land quickly approaching
the bend in the river
that soon would be passed
I saw her look
I knew she was leaving
The leaves and the puddles
The paint and the past.

The original posting.
Quod pleno non compleuit sed abandomed

Comment is about the paint and the puddles (blog)

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 28th Jun 2015 13:17

Can't agree Hugh, sorry. As a confirmed atheist married for 44 years now I'm living proof you don't need an idol to believe in. Love exists in everyone. It's just the finding of it!

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Original item by Harry O`N eill

Graham Sherwood

Sun 28th Jun 2015 13:14

Good work Tommy.
I would have liked the first three (perhaps four five six) verses to have been identically repetitive before the last wonderful gathering up verse to summarize it all.

I like the style, well done.

Graham

Comment is about the paint and the puddles (blog)

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 28th Jun 2015 13:04

Rose you certainly have some good ideas. I like this analogy and wondered why you haven't developed it further (I'm always saying that I know, sorry).

For instance what if your love had have been entombed? would it not still be beautiful to the outside world an appear precious.

Comment is about honey trap (blog)

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sun 28th Jun 2015 08:34

well that's a (m)arrow in me eye - I lie pole(t)axed before thee Lady Thatcherley
x

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Rose Casserley

Sun 28th Jun 2015 08:21

Col,U ditch if you want to-this lady (?) is not for ditching.


x

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Cathy Crabb

Sun 28th Jun 2015 01:37

The first thing that I can tell you is that I wanted to have Spinning Mule Elk Mill in the letters of the poem.

So I wrote it as an acrostic poem so that every first letter would spell that out.

Then I wanted it to sound like the mill, so I took the noise from recording of a mill with a spinning mule in.

And then I wanted it to be layers of how people would work for the weekend so they could have a drink so I put that in with words that I knew were northern slang and also mill slang.

And then I wanted it to go full circle so I put word in that would carry on so you'd get to the end and start at the beginning again.

My hope is that you can look up a lot of the words and phrases and trace them back to the mill.

Comment is about On a mat appears...(an early practice poem for a public art commission) (blog)

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Chandana S.

Sat 27th Jun 2015 19:11

Huw Thomas, I appreciate your comment. It was well observed and really on par with what I was going for.

Comment is about Left Without a Clue (blog)

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Chandana S.

Sat 27th Jun 2015 19:08

Thank you for your observation, it was on point. It is a poem about finding self.

Comment is about Out of Breath (blog)

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Helen Elliott

Sat 27th Jun 2015 18:40

Really like this Tommy. It feels very lyrical and melancholy. Some nice poetic tools used with the repetition and alliteration. Good stuff!

Comment is about the paint and the puddles (blog)

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Stu Buck

Sat 27th Jun 2015 15:20

i dont know. i think everyone is looking for something different. but most people want to escape something! i remember going to a festival several years ago called buddhafield and seeing a myriad of people, all professionals, desperate to forget who they were. they were rolling around on the floor, dancing and singing. i spoke to a few of them while i was there, and they told me it was a good form of escapism. i myself have tried several forms of escapism. the trick is to have nothing to escape from, a difficult thing to achieve.

Comment is about ouroboros (blog)

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Corr Lens

Sat 27th Jun 2015 14:12

Who knows

Comment is about Red White and Burbank- Deathy and the Dive (blog)

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brian timmis

Sat 27th Jun 2015 12:29

only if the wrong to Robert Poste is righted.
and did the goat die?

Review is about Starkadder poetry open mic on 6 Jul 2015 (event)

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Tommy Carroll

Sat 27th Jun 2015 10:12

Ray- re Taxi "weary inevitability" spot on. I could not have put it any better. Tommy

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Summer miller

Sat 27th Jun 2015 08:02

excuse me i'm new here pls help me how to write my poems here

Comment is about us (blog)

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Yugol Barman

Fri 26th Jun 2015 21:14

As I said, it's really nice....

Comment is about Reminiscence (blog)

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Rebecca Miller

Fri 26th Jun 2015 20:32

"Static safety" I love this. Thank you for such a beautifully sad read. This has quickly become a favorite of mine.

Comment is about brahms (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

David Moore

Fri 26th Jun 2015 18:58

Stu, it has a beautiful sadness from start to finish, but the final four lines are hard hitting with a delicate touch, using the poltergeist image softens it, almost confusing the reader which I always appreciate.

It is very real with childlike truth, there is not one indication of anger or bitterness, maybe that tells of something you have come to appreciate and maybe understand.

Comment is about brahms (blog)

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Henry

Fri 26th Jun 2015 17:47

Crispin Blunt just came on the radio.

Comment is about MAKING A POINT (blog)

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Tommy Carroll

Fri 26th Jun 2015 17:42

Well bless my Fanny Cradock's

Comment is about MAKING A POINT (blog)

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Stu Buck

Fri 26th Jun 2015 17:36

i assume this begins when the sukebind comes into bud

Review is about Starkadder poetry open mic on 6 Jul 2015 (event)

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David Blake

Fri 26th Jun 2015 16:59

I like this a lot Cynthia, it's full of fun and wit. And agree with Philipos in it looking like you had fun writing this.

Comment is about Back To Basic Bacteria (blog)

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Nigel Astell

Fri 26th Jun 2015 15:57

Loved your photo dorinda on the picture gallery from Marsden on the home page.

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Nigel Astell

Fri 26th Jun 2015 15:47

Come to me.
Touch me.
Stay with me.

each repeated line
tells me
the longing you feel.

Comment is about Solstice (blog)

Original item by Katy Megan Hughes

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Nigel Astell

Fri 26th Jun 2015 15:34

A sharp comment at the end making the point very blunt.

Comment is about MAKING A POINT (blog)

Graham Sherwood

Fri 26th Jun 2015 13:27

Here here Harry. You feeling like that too! They were the days eh?

Comment is about A poet at prayer (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Lynn Hamilton

Fri 26th Jun 2015 13:11

Hi Celia. I really enjoyed this piece. x

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Original item by Celia

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Stu Buck

Fri 26th Jun 2015 12:57

Yes. Having spent the majority of my 20's loathing the acts that made me able to write such a poem, i have, not often, done just the same. I have never been physically abusive to my wife, although we have had some blazing rows. She has given me a good whack on occasion though! I was glaringly under prepared for adult life, as I am guessing many of us were, and the stresses it brings. I think this is the major cause of a lot of these problems.

Comment is about brahms (blog)

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