WIP

Wait, wait, ignore the fallacy
Wait, wait, ignore the depravity
All i want is all i have is all you need is not enough
How can you tell me everything is ok.
You.dont.care
And i love you for it.
Afraid to live, afraid to die
Terrified all the time
Can't stop grasping at straws each time i feel myself going under
Wish i could care for someone who gives a shit
But i mistrust myself more than any other.
I resent the help you offer, making me feel like a victim again
I sicken myself, in body and mind, the kinder you are the worse for me
All the right things feel so wrong and i can't stop
Though i know i should, all paths keep leading me here again
Im so lost. 
I just keep walking, getting nowhere but i can't stop.
Cant escape from me. However hard i try
Theres one way out and im trying not to see it
Stay lost, don't feel the terror again, dont go back
But i do, i will.
i move this puppet of me like im supposed to
I do my duty though it slowly kills me
Nod in all the right places, at all the right faces
Politely, quietly die a little more.
I envy your life, so free you don't even know it
This world was never built for me 
And i can't change it
Let me run with the wind forever
And i'll love you like no other.

 

escapeMental illness

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Comments

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Itsjustmedownhere

Tue 18th Feb 2020 04:28

I felt this poem as I read each word, very deep. I liked it.
-J

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mathenge mengo

Sun 16th Feb 2020 07:37

So deep

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