Dear Younger Me

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Being born into this world wasn't welcoming

Thats how I believe I got my life's sentencing

I wasn't wanted by my mama

I swear people came to watch my life play out at the cinema

Tears on the floor

when I'm opening the door

Creepin to see

If he would find me

Whispers in my ear

he wants to touch me

I thought I was adopted because I was special

And nothing lesser

But he had a plan

And that was my precious body in his left hand

Growing up I tried to switch lanes

Running threw green lights yellow lights

no stop its another red light

Men taking advantage of this little girl right out of sight

What a shame!

All I wanted to do was play a game

A game or two with my friends

But my life went to shreds

As a child my life wasn't normal

Who knew at a young age I could be suicidal

Write before my eyes 

I started to tell lies

To everyone

To look like my life was normal, special, average

One of a kind

But naw it was like a carnival spinning around like a fast ride

I looked happy on the outside

But life was aweful

And I was so emotional

Dear younger me

Years went by

I got older

But still didn't know how to live life

started playing with knives

Found myself sitting in the back of a trap house

Not noticing someone undid my blouse

Feeling high as a kite

Fading into the late night

Wait my face is turning pale white

About to pass out again

 I can't feel my brain

I look around

Everybody's gone

What did I do wrong

I look down

There's blood everywhere

I did it again

My wrists are bleeding

The voices in my head are speeding

I'm so desperatly needing

needing someone to stop the bleeding

I quickly gather my stuff and stumble out the door

Knowing I can't come back here anymore

I'm sitting on the curb

Feeling so disturbed

My hair needs a comb

I need a battery for my phone

How will I find my way home

Dear younger me

Could my life get any worse?

I have to promise myself

To get out of this nightmare

I stop and remember a sweet voice telling me

Just pray

So I get on my knees

And my body starts to sway

Back and forth

I wrestle with the devil

He tells me

Grab a shovel

Dig your grave

And like always

He thinks he's got his way 

But not so

Jesus comes with his glow

He tells me

Be brave

I am your Airwave

Yes Jesus

He picks me up off my knees

Wipes my tears

And tells me

I've been fighting for you

All your years

Dear younger me

Your worth more than you know

You may have had a hard life

May have went threw a lot of strife

But you are special

And you will become succesful

The Lord has bought you out of so much

With his gentle touch

There is none such like him

Dear younger me

Now that I look at my life

I'm so happy to be alive

I have so much to be thankful for

I have a sister that stepped up to be a mom to me

She see's the good in me

When no one else has

I may have a delay in my mind and it might take me longer

to learn things than others

But that's my life

And it will always be full of wonders

The most important thing in life my sister taught me

is

that there was and is someone who Loves 

me more than anyone or anything

And that even though life can be so challenging at times

Jesus is Love

And no one can take his Love away from me

That is a guarentee!

 

Soulmate In The Air ►

Comments

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Martin Elder

Mon 10th Feb 2020 10:44

Wow what an incredibly honest brave and powerful piece of poetry. so beautifully written.
I look forward to more
Nice one

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