Just Be

Just be?

Believe me!


Just see this beast!

- Many screams -

By me, of mine, and me

At someone’s pair of legs poking out from under my bed

When they disappear,

I remind me: they were never here

But why do people say “in your head”?

When it can make you scream, 

And grow big in length and width

Until it cannot fit “in your head”

When it can breathe life, roam the world,

Slide into your shoes, walk your life

Define “in your head”!

Ha, “in your head”!

Tell that to my memories,

My puking heartbeat,

My pent up thumping, pumping pulse

The thud of my hot blood,

My stomach that is never full

My eyes that don’t blink

Because they cannot sleep a wink

Constantly on the brink, on the brink

Of ten… pairs of eyes… when?

Grinning men: four

Women basking in shadows: six

(Not to mention the voices)

“Do you see dead people?”

Asked the psychologist

Yes, ten!

“On a scale of…”


“How anxious do you feel?”

Ten, ten, ten!

Judge me, you! Judge me, do!

I need you to

(if you can see me that is)

Maybe I’m a woman of shadow too

Say: “Open sesame, bloody Mary, Jiminy Cricket, lickety split”

Look in the mirror, rub a lamp, make a wish, put a shell to your ear,

I’ll appear!

(There are ten of me, my dear)

Alpha, Omega, Beta Blockers - Ten!

They’ll teach your heart one trick: zen

To tick - tock – tick like Big Ben

Spring clean that head!

But I’d rather see dead people, I said

Just ten

Like having ten fingers and ten toes

I have ten more friends, I suppose

Some people have more company in life

Do you believe me?

Do you see me?

We’ll just be me

anxietyconfusiondepressionhallucinatehallucinationinternaljourneymedicationmental healthmisunderstoodpanic attackprescribePsychologyPsychosisquirkyself acceptancestruggletherapyunderstandingvision

◄ Afraid Of the Dark

Anticlimactic ►


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Alexandra Parapadakis

Mon 3rd Feb 2020 13:35

Wow, really got me thinking. Thank you for your insights!

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Wed 22nd Jan 2020 15:38


You need to seek HELP

Why? You may ask, I've had help a plenty and look at the good it did.

Been there done that took the tablets and the nice orange thick shake (You know the Larrg walk inducing smoothy... the one where you slouch forward with you knuckles facing forwards, always facing forwards) arched back neck bent facing the floor, always facing the floor.

The help you need is telling you how to tell and help others what I'm talking about... you know I know you know and now you now I know... you have such a gift, a talent, a talent to heal and make others whole again.

WE have experienced it and came out on the other side.

Plenty don't and need a guide to achieve release.

After 28 days that might happen all by itself... BUT
I don't need these tablets I'm fine, there is nothing wrong with me it is the others we say, flushing the tablets down the loo.

Back for another 28 days!

You are a poet to watch.

Can I borrow this poem... I am asking a few poets here and other places this question... BECAUSE YOU, ME, THEY, Know the answers from experience Not from a book!

Let us together write a book that will tell the people who really need the answers only we have.

TYped so quickly I did not have time for punctuation and spelling and shit... just the thoughts running racing through my head.

That and the prompts from umpteen dead people who took their own life! (I wish I was joking... Please trust me when I say “I AM NOT” )

Do you hear dead people they asked me “Hell Yes I said... Don’t you?”

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Wed 22nd Jan 2020 15:23

This reminds me of our dear friend, Don. 😃

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