As Humpy Dumpty sat on a wall
- It isn’t that Humpty liked to
sit on a cold draughty old wall
which is the big issue here, it
revolves around the question
as to what caused him to topple
off when all the King’s Horses
and all of the Monarch’s men
couldn’t reassemble him again.
Methinks he could have been
on the Old Captain Morgan’s
hard stuff that was the problem
and he over indulged himself
then got squiffy in a jiffy when
he spotted little Miss Moffet
seated on her tuffet scoffing her
curds and whey, as has been said.
Members of the jury – you have
heard some of the compelling
evidence in this case – so let me
remind us about what any reasonable
man or woman might do in a like -
wise situation. Why was the
scoundrel Humpty absent from his
work desk and ogling away at
those poor servant girls – let’s hear
some more evidence from Tom
Tom, the piper’s son – perhaps he
can throw a little more light on
what might have been going on.
What’s that Mr Clerk – Tom, Tom,
the Piper’s son has been taken away
for a naughty weekend somewhere!
Near Scarborough. Whatever next?
And did you also mention he was
peeping behind the hedges at some
of the local girls but claimed he was only
admiring their flouncy curls – this case
gets more serious by the minute. Time
to get the swimming trunks and head off for
those beaches to see out what’s going on.