the good old days?
let me make this very clear
Chris and I are not voyeurs
we just like watching vintage TV
especially if we catch
The Price is Right with Brucie.
if a good looking young woman is picked
and bounces down to ‘Contestants’ Row’
we share knowing looks and hope she wins
and if she wins we zone in
on the host’s right hand
encircling her waist
and scope Forsyth’s thumb,
creeping to the underwire.
some fellah, Emon, scooped a percolator
and could drive home a car by winning at ‘Plinko’ -
a game played from a raised dais.
the ‘National Treasure’ nudged and winked,
‘would you like to go upstairs with ‘Sally’?’
(‘Sally’ was a glamorous hostess on the show)
the studio audience loved the innuendo
Emon could not care less - his mind full of car.
the game was afoot,
we put down our cups.
Emon climbed the narrow steps
Sally close behind him
and close up to her, Brucie,
who had to pass Sally
to get to the punter
no escape for the hostess
all toothy grin and chuckling
Brucie struggled past
crushing chest to chest
milking the moment
and taking his time.
the audience whooped
Brucie leered. Sally glared.
then she stepped down
and shot a wide smile
to camera one.
Chris tutted. I sighed,
’the nineties eh? diff’rent world.’