What are we searching for in our relationship?
The kind of social order that is set up today, each individual is alone, aloof and struggling to find a perfect relationship. God has made human beings in a way in which we require a social order to live in. the era of today is devoid of all such things which caters to the social, personal and family needs of man. Here is a list of those characteristics and factors that is imperative in building a positive and sound relationship for a long time. Let’s see them in order of priority.
1. Our relationship with God:- First and foremost we need to have a good relationship with the one who created us. Our creator knows what is indeed best for us. All guidance and help is from Him alone. To strengthen our relationship with God we need to work on ourselves to be totally dependent on God and seek His guidance and help through prayers. The closer and deeper the bond the better the relationship. So each of us should strengthen this bond at our best.
2. Our relationship with family members: - Family plays a vital role in helping us develop into a positive and successful individuals. The better environment we have at home and the relationship that we share with our family members, the better will be our life. So we should take extra good care to care, help, share and be with our family as much as possible.
3. Our relationship with our neighbours: - After family, it’s our neighbours who deserve the best of our good actions and care. The healthier the relationship, the better the bond.
But the problem is how to strengthen this bond. What is it that we need to give and expect in our relationships?
Now let’s consider the qualities we should search for and instil to enjoy a good relationship.
1. Trust – without trust we can never have a sound relationship. Mutual trust builds a strong bond and affection. We should understand, forgive and look past the mistakes and finally never break the trust of our partner.
2. Love – if love is skin deep it ends, if love is based on mutual give and take then also a relationship ends too fast. Love should be unconditional. We should accept our partners as they are. Without having to change their looks, dressing or anything to suit our taste and desires. We should never be demanding rather we should be giving.
3. Companionship: - we should have a companion for life. Choosing a partner wisely is important because a person who is your friend will always understand you. Will always be there with you and you can share a comfortable relationship with a friend.
4. Mutual respect – we should respect our partners as to who they are. Respect their thoughts, views, their background, achievements and their flaws.
5. Freedom of speech – although freedom of speech is good but it should be monitored. Rudeness and abusing isn’t freedom of speech rather such things destroy a relationship. Be respectful and polite and yet make your statements firmly backed by truth and concern.
6. Sharing and caring- sharing your time, mind, money, talent and every good you are blessed with helps in creating a quality time and good use of your hard earned money on people whom we love and who for sure deserve it foremost. Caring for them during their times of illness, weakness, downfall and problems helps us support them and bring them back to their good shape.
7. Liberty – no one should control anyone’s thoughts, views and judgements. This improves the atmosphere at home and each one feels relaxed and at ease without being living in an oppressive and tortured environment with some kind of a constant fear, from where you need to break free and escape. Each person should be free to choose according to their likes and dislikes and according to their tastes and preferences.
There are many more points that can be included. But for a healthy relationship these points are more than enough, to work on a continuous basis. We can always develop and incorporate other points as well, as per the need and situation. But these for me are the building blocks and foundation on which the whole structure of any relationship is built upon.
By:- Ghazala Lari
Dear Readers, I would like to add a poem related to this topic. I am indebted to Mr. Hugh for allowing me to include his poem as my blog entry.
The poem below is written by Hugh from WOL.
Relationships, inspired by Ghazala Lari
Friday 27th September 2019 3:05 pm
Ghazala Lari ,your wise words I have put into verse,
Into your hearts dear readers closely please nurse.
The advice of this young lady shines so bright,
Look after your relationships and put things right.
He who made us we must respect,
He who made us don't neglect.
Love your Creator and your never alone,
He will look after you down to the bone.
With our family we must truly bond,
Doing things together of which we are fond.
Blood is so much thicker than water,
Take extra care of your son and daughter.
Look after your neighbours give them your attention,
Living aloof nowadays,but they deserve a mention.
Say "hello,"when you pass them by,
Comfort them if you see them cry.
Trust,love and companionship should be top of the bill,
Look after your family when they are ill.
If love is skin deep ,it won't last long,
Embedded in your heart ,it will stay strong.
Share a comfortable relationship with a friend,
To advise and cherish you they will lovingly bend.
Attempt to get on with your relatives and in-laws,
Respect their thoughts,views and flaws.
Advise your grand children if they smoke and vape,
Help and support them, bring them back to shape.
Transmit your love with a coating of liberty,
Sprinkle them with advice into their puberty.