I looked up (final version (for now) )

I looked up


few raise their eyes to look at clouds -

the skies hold intimations of eternal

considerations best left to theologians


town folk meander, mesmerised, eyes down,

skimming ‘essential news’ - others’ bargains,

Snapchat cappuccinos, cats, and kittens.


unlike those truly lost - scratching

‘S O S’ on desolation beaches,

or firing flares amid mountain seas

or standing in foreign fountain squares,

wrestling with maps, trying to figure

how they can get from where they are, to

the sepulchre of Sainte Someone-or-other.


urban lost souls, sighing silently,

nightly herd their head-down

weary rut-way home

to brawling kids

and supper on the sofa.


roll back to summer 74;


on a breezy esplanade,

Scarborough, as I remember,

scanning rows of cliff-top benches

tight with old-girl pensioners. their heads

spree-rinsed electric blue or shocking pink.

legs spread wide, brazenly flaunting bloomers

exactly the tint of their coiffures,

gauging the manhood of young bucks passing –

a cackle of ‘kiss me quick’ Medusas.


although half-petrified, I gazed upwards -

finding the panorama glorious.

◄ I looked up

A view from Mainland ►



Wed 11th Sep 2019 10:33

Thanks, Devon, the first version is soon to be deleted ?

Devon Brock

Tue 10th Sep 2019 11:03

Nipped, tucked, spectacular. The contrasts between the two halves of the poem, structurally, support its conceit. First half - gaunt, gray, lonely, a smattering of judgement. Second half - exploding with color, big teasing imagery, vibrancy.

You may want to put a few spaces between the final draft and the second draft, as not to confuse.


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