Oh thank you! thank you! my newspaper enclosed gizmo selling mag!

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After having the best sleep

I have ever had on my

' ORGANIC LAVENDAR SPRAYED ' pillow

I hear my

' CLEVER CORDLESS PLUG-IN ALARM CLOCK '

into which I have been able to pre-record my own voice

shouting get up you lazy bastard!

which means it is time for me to step into my

' SHOWER SHOES '

and give my body the once over, using my

'  EASY REACH BODY BRUSH '

and my

' CHARCOAL GIFT SOAP '

then step out onto my

' MOULD FREE BATH MAT '

and dry my self off with my

' MRS COOPERS OLD TOWEL REVIVER '

revived old towel

then go downstairs where I sit at my

' FULLY ADJUSTABLE MINI BREAKFAST TABLE '

while wearing my

' FULL COVERAGE BIB '

to stop my jimjams from getting porridge-blobbed

after which I will get dressed not forgetting to don my

' STYLISH EASY TO FIT MAGNETIC SCARF '

before trying out my new

' TELESCOPIC GUTTER CLEANER '

 

How easy and exciting has my tacky product-loving life become

apart from the time I almost broke my effing neck

when I got my sockless foot caught in the metal loop

holding the sock open at the end of the metal rod

sending me in an arse over tit rolling rage!

fuck you- ' SOCK STICK!  

◄ Up and at it!

Exiting prospect of singularity ►

Comments

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LEON STOLGARD

Mon 2nd Sep 2019 14:21

most people would know that many of these crappy items are just NOT going to work.

Could buying any be called un-comfort buying? 😆

Thank's guys. Gonna do my best to refill the pipeline with similar stuff in time to come, so I can once again enjoy your laughing enjoyment
that has been the best way you could all ( Don, Kate, Ruth, Martin and Devon ) have made my day.

LS.

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Martin Elder

Mon 2nd Sep 2019 10:17

My favourite line in this is
'Mrs Coopers old towel reviver' which put me in mind of either s brand of extra strong mints, a cheese or a real ale. I am plumping for the latter.
Great poem Leon
loved it

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Ruth O'Reilly

Sun 1st Sep 2019 17:21

Ha,Ha got to love those good old catalogue gadgets at least you've managed to knit half a sock!😁

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Don Matthews

Sun 1st Sep 2019 13:28

Yes Leon, keep up the humour. We need it. And love it...😋

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keith jeffries

Sun 1st Sep 2019 13:18

Leon,

I think, perhaps erroneously, that we are about the same age and with that in mind I roared with laughter all the way through this poem.
This must be one of your best yet. More please.

Thanks
Keith

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Kate G

Sun 1st Sep 2019 12:48

Don's right. Humorous and clever. Looking forward to reading more.

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Don Matthews

Sun 1st Sep 2019 12:19

Leon, you have really excelled yourself with this one. I applaud you with this different concept.

The Humour Blight is catching on
Leon has been bit
Who will next succumb to it
Who will next say shit!

That Matthews he done started it
Infecting our WOL site
Wanting doom and gloom be gone
Infected Humour Blight

You bad poet you........

We were quite happy 'fore you came
On your kangaroo
Wallowing in doom and gloom
What did you think you'd do?

I rode in proud, on Skippy
Said watch out here I come
Been pushing wanting laughter
Looks like it's here, ho hum...😋

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