Some see me as a

Victor Meldrew type

having words with the

postie for dumping

junk mail through my

letter box and ignoring

the ‘please don’t signs’

I visit the local depot

all geared up for a few

words – the manager

looks perplexed – and

makes a confession –

we don’t like the stuff

either but have to do it

‘Have to do?’ I muse to a

more subdued self – sorry

now to have got worked

up about it – I raise my pop

gun to a higher elevation

time to have a word or two

with those fat cats at the top

But in the meantime there

is the Opt Out form which

can be downloaded on-line

via Royal Mail.com and joy

comes with new found and

welcomed empowerment

since it actually works as

2 weeks later only the mail

I really want presents itself.

And trees destined for the,

wood-man’s figurative axe

may start to sigh relief – it

is my considered belief that

now only wanted mail will arrive.

Whether that is whilst I am

still alive or not is a factor for

futurity but from little seeds

of thought today– may mighty

oak trees take their root and

multiply – it is my message in

a bottle for tomorrow’s world.





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M.C. Newberry

Tue 20th Aug 2019 15:36

I get those promotional mailshots about funeral plans and take much
pleasure in knowing the presumption is negated by my decision to
invest in a pre-paid funeral years ago. To borrow a term from two
admirable contributors to WOL - it is my "coffin dodger" contribution
to take the load from other shoulders upon my eventual "opting-out"
from existence on this mortal coil.

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Jason Bayliss

Mon 19th Aug 2019 23:47

Quite right too. I love the way you went from junk mail, to needlessly felled trees, to acorns that birth mighty oaks, right the way back to a message in a bottle.
Cleverly written narrative and a great message.

J. x

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Ruth O'Reilly

Mon 19th Aug 2019 23:26

I don't beleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeive it! used to love that OFITG when I was a kid! And then when he ended up in Father Ted that was funny too?

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Don Matthews

Mon 19th Aug 2019 23:24

You're gonna get
A bill to cover
Funeral expenses
When you're dug over

Friends: Shit! Junk mail.....

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