Leaving My Love

I love you so much we must talk of death,

Dwelling on more than emotional expense.

Exhaust lengthy dark whilst I still have breath,

Sharing division on unravelled consequence.

Within sun-kissed youth, life’s eternal play

Made foolish provision for later years.

Thoughts of mortality were led astray

By blinding innocence and childish fears.

Together we must face more adult monsters,

As progress has left us and them exposed.

Knowledge is clouded with doubts it sponsors,

Unwelcome answers in beliefs once closed.

Days grow shorter and cold night blacks the view.

Sleep now my love, in dreams I will haunt you.

◄ Who Are You?

Phoenix ►

Comments

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Rose Casserley

Fri 2nd Aug 2019 15:22

abandon YOU Rob? never in a month of Sunday's mate!

but in a month of Monday's, Tuesday's, Wednesday's, Thursday's, Friday's, Saturday's,

erm..........😜

keep the heart fires burning!



Rose πŸ’‹

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Devon Brock

Thu 1st Aug 2019 12:18

Rob, to finish my comment (I had to go to work and now I'm at work not working), there is also in the word "haunt", at least for me, and perhaps most importantly, are the habits developed during long relationships, the tiny ways we interact that are ours alone. To be removed from those is certainly haunting.

D

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Robert Mann

Thu 1st Aug 2019 11:53

Thanks Devon.

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Devon Brock

Thu 1st Aug 2019 11:42

Rob, the ending is entirely up to you. I, personally, like "haunt", because to me it is not coming across as ghoulish or anything like that, it spoke to me of the moments when I wasn't there, the missed opportunities to express love, those arguments, regrets, etc.

D

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Robert Mann

Thu 1st Aug 2019 11:38

A Rose by any other name - I don't panic any more (waste of valuable time). Lovely to hear from you again as I thought you had abandoned me. Glad you liked my realism! Check out the others from my back catalogue that I have been adding audio to.
Rob

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Robert Mann

Thu 1st Aug 2019 11:35

Devon - I'm glad this piece resonated with you. The sonnet structuring was almost accidental, but what wasn't was the sentiment. I realise I have to 'hold on tight' to my muse while I still can. I did contemplate using the word comfort rather than haunt in the last line, but decided that the piece almost needed a jarring finale. Any thoughts?
Rob

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Rose Casserley

Thu 1st Aug 2019 10:57

don't p-p-panic! I'm only here because I love reading real poetry πŸ˜‹









Rose πŸ’‹

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Devon Brock

Thu 1st Aug 2019 10:53

Rob, I took a few reads, only because I was caught up in the content of the poem, that this is a sonnet. Well crafted. It takes me to those less than comfortable conversations with the wife, that though uncomfortable, are necessary. Facing my own mortality is one thing, facing hers is heartbreaking. Thank you for this poem. So much in 14 lines.

D

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