Old Heads on Young Shoulders!

“Old Heads on Young Shoulders”! 


You can’t put old heads on young shoulders!”, they say. 

But I think that I may have come-up with a way, 

involving some sawing - and stitching - and glue

(and a bit of an ‘inclin’, of just what to do!).


Yet, if I decided to ‘give it a bash’,

that would leave a ‘spare’ head and a body (to ‘stash’)!

Which seems such a waste of a woman or man.

So, now I’ve developed a different plan.


There are youngsters, who’ll want to know stuff ‘early on’.

With many an old ‘un, regretting times, gone.

So let’s do some ‘swapping’, to fulfil their dreams

with no ‘wastage’ (and only a few extra seams!).


I’d start by recruiting some naive young folk

who were willing to give something drastic ‘a poke’.

And pair them all off with compatible ‘codgers’,

intent on replacing their ‘bits’, bobs and todgers!


And then I’d source bandages, needles and threads,

before getting busy with swapping their heads.

‘Old heads on young shoulders’ and ‘young ones on old’.

(Making sure, they were fastened before they got cold!)


Then, once our brave patients have passed ‘first-inspections’,

give ‘old head-receivers’ some “Botox” injections.

And face-lifts or ‘plumpers’, for looking their best

to match their young-bodies (now proudly possessed!).


Conversely, the ’young-heads’ would need something too

- aware that old fogeys are ‘strictly-taboo’.

Subjecting their bods to be ‘nipped’ and then ‘tucked’.

To stop them from looking so wrinkled - and frail !


The ‘oldies’ (of course) would be happy to pay

for a chance to ‘roll-back’ all those years, in one day.

And, to bring in the ‘Young’ this (for them) would be free

(as it’s really a ‘full-body’ transplant, you see ?).


For, when all is done and they’ve, each convalesced,

the ‘Olds’ would be thrilled with new bodies; so blessed!

But the ‘Youngs’ (so betrayed!) would regret their transplants,

as they ache and they fart - through incontinence pants!


So, maybe it’s best to put such thoughts away. 

Aqs I wouldn’t wish that on the ‘Youth of Today’.

The ‘Wisdom of Age’ should take time to seep through.

Let them make their own ‘cock-ups’ - like we had to do !


John Andrew Nield

dark humourhumorous poetryhumorous versehumour

◄ Jesus Wants You!

'Double' Act! ►


<Deleted User> (22247)

Fri 5th Jul 2019 18:46

I thought it was delightful! I can see I'm going to gush over all your poems.

So much clever imagination, a skinfull of detail.

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John Andrew Nield

Tue 2nd Jul 2019 09:08

Thanks very much for your kind comments, Devon. Yes, I have discovered that my 'stuff' does generally tend to be quite lengthy, as I feel the need to paint the fullest picture of what's 'falling out of my head' at the time. I do try to prune a newly completed piece - but then I was never much of a gardener! I've now, however come to accept that brevity will never be my strong point - as you'll have now gathered from this response! ? Best wishes, John..

Devon Brock

Mon 1st Jul 2019 22:30

Yes. It was a long fun ride getting there - but I love the ending. A raised glass and a sip to you!

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