'Hairstray'!

‘Hairstray’!

 

It’s tough, being ‘follicly-challenged’.

(I suppose, it’s because of my age.)

Now, my hair-line is shrinking it’s started me, thinking,

“I’m finally reaching ‘that stage’!”

 

I’ve guessed what the ‘blighters’ are up to

(when they slowly ‘abandon’ my head).

At a loss, what to do,

they’ve sought ‘pastures a-new’

and took over my nostrils instead !

 

Yet others, perhaps are well-meaning.

Some, giving my skull a ‘big hug’.

My parting (so wide)

is enhanced, either side

by thick ‘tufts’, sprouting out of each ‘lug’.

 

But that’s not the end of my torment.

As they won’t, simply ‘leave it at that’.

On the tops of each ear,

‘multi-strands’ will appear,

which I think I could (possibly) plait!

 

And my body’s not being neglected

- hairs, steadfastly ‘carpet’ my back.

The whole thing’s a farce

(from ‘my neck to my arse’!),

where I’m constantly under attack.

 

‘Fur-epaulettes’, now cap each shoulder.

(I’m a werewolf! I’ve, surely been cursed.)

And my once-tidy chest

is now ‘well-past its best’

- like a horse’s-hair mattress, that burst!

 

I suspect, there’s a new ‘Ice Age’, looming.

I’m evolving; ‘half-man and half-goat’!

When the blizzards arrive

I’ll be sure, to survive.

(’Nature’s sorting me out, with a coat!)

 

But the ‘biggest affronts’ are my eyebrows.

‘Jungled hedge-rows’; but (Hey!) I don’t care.

I’ll just let them grow, ‘lush’

and then, upwards, I’ll brush

‘til they cover where, once, I had hair!  

 

 

◄ Great Expectations!

'Caravan Man' ►

Comments

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John Andrew Nield

Sat 18th May 2019 17:42

Cheers, M.C., I've been on here for a couple of years, now but not posted lately. "Fur" enough! 😊

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M.C. Newberry

Sat 18th May 2019 16:27

A most welcome addition to the growing ranks of humour on WOL.
I do hope you're not -
Hair today and gone tomorrow!

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John Andrew Nield

Sat 18th May 2019 14:01

Thanks for your kind comments, gentlemen.

To paraphrase Billy Connolly. "With all this hair sprouting from my every orifice.....what's Nature preparing me for?" 😊

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Brian Maryon

Fri 17th May 2019 23:27

John - all us blokes are either there, been there, or heading there. I'm not particularly hirsute but I always get my barber to run the clippers over my eyebrows.

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keith jeffries

Fri 17th May 2019 22:44

John,

This is such a well composed poem and so well rhymed. One of the best poems I have read for quite some time. Don´t worry too much about hair loss as it only means that you have more face to wash.

Thank you again for this.
Keith

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