If I possessed a phone back then,

would it help or hinder?

They’re calling it ‘disclosure’.

Those men were ten years older.

They said it was a party,

I believed them.

Would the phone show “asking for it”,

“look at what she did and said,

dirty girls deserve to learn a lesson”?


If I had had a mobile phone,

would it show Authority that teenage promiscuity

is often born of need? Of hunger for affection,

love in any currency?

A fight against morality?

And if it did, would it say

my body is my business, not to be dismissed

and narrowed down, opened up,

one unbroken flow of always yes and never no?


Would the bottle of Bacardi that they gave me

be on Instagram?

Evidence of ever more debauchery?

Perhaps there would be photos of me

sprawled across the bed, dead drunk,

limbs numb, and unable to co-ordinate defence.

Perhaps there would be videos, diminishing No’s,

and the noises men make.

Maybe not.


Distance doesn’t medicate

or mediate the damage done;

tranquillity’s impossible for some,

full disclosure.

I’m thirty years older.

They said it was a party

but it wasn’t.


Napowrimo 2019

◄ Speaking in Tongues

Genesis ►


<Deleted User> (21487)

Thu 2nd May 2019 16:56

I am so glad that i went back to your poem again. I think it was the very real emotion that shook me on the first reading, (It just shows how good it is) and I can understand that it cost you dear to write it.
However I was relieved to read
" I will not be beaten"

Stay strong.


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Laura Taylor

Tue 30th Apr 2019 10:21

Thank you so much for your note, Dorothy, and for coming back to the poem despite being disturbed by it. Writing it took me back to a time that I don't like to remember, and a horrible feeling stayed with me all day and night because of it. I keep reminding myself that I am still here, the sun shines, and I have achieved so many things since then. I will not be beaten. Thanks again x

<Deleted User> (21487)

Mon 29th Apr 2019 19:38

i have re-read again and again. It is very strong and you do not hold back on your emotion - i did not see the news report - but it clearly upset you a lot,
I think your poem is brilliant and powerful and disturbing. Well done.

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Laura Taylor

Mon 29th Apr 2019 15:44

Thanks Trev

I know. Beggars belief.

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Trevor Alexander

Mon 29th Apr 2019 12:38

Strong emotion comes across in every line! Well done! I saw that news report too, Laura, and I was absolutely gobsmacked! What are they smoking?!

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Laura Taylor

Mon 29th Apr 2019 12:10

Dorothy - it made for traumatic writing. I don't usually go into this but a news report this morning really angered me, and with the prompt today, well, it wanted to be written, finally.

<Deleted User> (21487)

Mon 29th Apr 2019 12:07

This makes for traumatic reading, i need to think and then I will read it again

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Laura Taylor

Mon 29th Apr 2019 12:03

Day 29, Napowrimo 2019

Today's prompt: a poem that meditates, from a position of tranquility, on an emotion you have felt powerfully.

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