Sometimes

What you see is a soul

Fighting effortlessly 

Slaying, surviving,

Even thriving.

 

What you don't see

Is some times

Are so soul-crushing

Jarring and numbing

That I can hardly walk 

Hardly stand

Hardly breathe.

 

Please make no mistake -

This was never easy

And though I have made so much progress,

I have gone through so much pain.

 

Sometimes, I break.

 

Sometimes, I could really use your help, goddamn it. 

 

And I just miss you.

 

Sometimes, I want to beg you

Plead with you 

For just five more minutes

Five more seconds

 

I am only silent because you have asked it of me,

And it is not my place to rip off bandages 

If you are finally healing 

I will not do that to you,

No matter how much I hurt inside

I refuse. 

 

But please know

That this is no walk in the park for me 

That every day is a choice

Fuck, every moment is a choice

To let the current pull me under

Or to keep fighting 

And I'm

Fighting

Because 

Promised 

Would

Not 

Allow

Either 

One

Of 

Us 

To 

Drown.

 

◄ Hush, lovey.

And Then ►

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