Monday morning meeting.
We are gathered here together
to cultivate ideas for performance-based incentives,
and the hot potato pay gap that we didn’t know existed
when we settled on the salaries.
So let’s talk benefits, with which to touch base on;
construct a presentation by the close of play today.
This pathetic sex pay gap will be smeared
by the media tomorrow if we don’t.
We have to wash our own face, going forward.
Let’s innovate, engage, step up to the plate!
I want a cascade of equality!
A strategy for synergy! Bring it to the table
to get us out of trouble
but at the same time, enable and incentivise.
I take a deep breath and commence to hold forth
with a rattling express,
punching puppies left and right,
to land in silence
and a shuffling of papers.
a throat clears phlegm.
A voice pipes up.
A baritone rumble.
word for word
The room erupts.
What a brilliant idea!
Such blue sky thinking, this is SO outside the box!
And you believe that we are singing from the same hymn sheet
and we are, literally, because you’ve stolen my idea.
I assumed that when proposals emitted from my lips,
that acknowledgement would follow, at the least.
But to assume makes an ass of u and me,
There is no ‘I’ in team,
and the pay gap we dismissed
until some no-dick Miss
chose to publicise our business
will be fixed by the bollocks of the species.