Buzzword Bingo

Monday morning meeting.

We are gathered here together

to cultivate ideas for performance-based incentives,

and the hot potato pay gap that we didn’t know existed

when we settled on the salaries.

Honest.

 

So let’s talk benefits, with which to touch base on;

construct a presentation by the close of play today.

This pathetic sex pay gap will be smeared

by the media tomorrow if we don’t. 

We have to wash our own face, going forward.

 

Let’s innovate, engage, step up to the plate!

I want a cascade of equality!

A strategy for synergy!  Bring it to the table

to get us out of trouble

but at the same time, enable and incentivise.

 

I take a deep breath and commence to hold forth

with a rattling express,

punching puppies left and right,

to land in silence

and a shuffling of papers.

 

Then,

a throat clears phlegm.

A voice pipes up.

A baritone rumble.

And suddenly

an echo

 

word for word

my idea. 

The room erupts.

 

Well Done!

Three Cheers!

What a brilliant idea!

Such blue sky thinking, this is SO outside the box!

 

And you believe that we are singing from the same hymn sheet

and we are, literally, because you’ve stolen my idea.

I assumed that when proposals emitted from my lips,

that acknowledgement would follow, at the least. 

 

But to assume makes an ass of u and me,

apparently.

There is no ‘I’ in team,

and the pay gap we dismissed

until some no-dick Miss

chose to publicise our business

will be fixed by the bollocks of the species.

 

NaPoMoWri 2019

◄ The Gift

Triptych ►

Comments

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Laura Taylor

Tue 9th Apr 2019 14:11

Cheers Trev. I have been ignored like that in meetings and such, many times. It's how I learned to be loud 😉

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Trevor Alexander

Mon 8th Apr 2019 17:01

I really dislike that business jargon, having lived through some of it in a previous existence. I do get the gender crap: there was a woman worked with me who was a far better engineer, but she was the one made redundant! I think you've got it just right here. 👍

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Laura Taylor

Mon 8th Apr 2019 16:21

Thanks Martin!

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Martin Elder

Mon 8th Apr 2019 15:09

written with your usual verve and flair Laura. I can just imagine you delivering this piece as much to a boardroom as at an open mic.
Nice one

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Laura Taylor

Mon 8th Apr 2019 13:17

Day 8 of Napowrimo

http://www.napowrimo.net/

Today's prompt: write a poem incorporating the argot of a particular job or profession.

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