Snakes go ape for mice and rats.
Dogs eat dirt and snaffled snacks.
Mice adore a fragrant cheese.
Flu likes humans, hens and seals.
Bats eat beetles, moths, mosquitoes.
Bees are nuts for nectar.
Rabbits gorge on grass and bran,
and dandelion dinners.
Maggots love marshmallows.
Dust mites munch on pillows.
Streptococcus hungers after meat or milk or fish.
Necrotizing fasciitis? Partial to a dish of flesh.
I have my favourites, you do too.
All things need to eat some food.
But some are greedy, some are thieves,
and some are cunning bastards
known as Cats.
Pinching pizza, cheese and chips, curry, crisps and biscuits.
Nabbing salad, spinach, ham, chicken, beef and chilli.
Cats will eat your eyes out if you die before their dinner.
Then they'll eat the rest of you, pretending you are tuna.
Satan's children, whiskered wankers,
worse than piles or merchant bankers.
Furry avaricious twats,
the fucker's filched me sandwiches.