Brother

And here it is I sit, alone again I’ll admit.

Pulled over before my stop 

Trying to convince my thumbs to jot down 

What my mouth couldn’t get

Solitude has struck me cold to many times for me count 

The nights where I beg for someone in this place I’m in to know who I am without me helping them out 

And deeming them too blind to figure me out. 

So by myself I sit, with all the ones I love in line to spend time with someone they’ve never met

From a child I knew too well that the sense of loneliness I felt back then 

Was something I’d likely never live without

Trapped in a world of which no one understood that life is bigger than cracking beers in the woods.

When I was younger I pitied them because even then I knew 

Not one of them will ever know the truth behind everything they thought they knew

They had fun playing drinking games and talking about the little things

While I disappeared to the curb where I cried and wondered if I’d ever know

What it meant to be so blind

I often struggled with question, of why

Why was I chosen to live this life of loneliness 

Why was I chosen out of all of them to be burdened with the life I had when reality sets in

Who decided I was equipped enough to handle my questions and fears while having not a soul in my corner to help me through these years. 

What in the world could I have done to deserve finding answers to questions and having mind enough to contradict them all. 

Oh the the nights I cried and wept begging for this life to give me something that made since. 

Having friends made it worse 

Now I’m forced to see how great life looks had I not been cursed 

Cursed with a mind that can always see beyond these silly games and all the days in between. 

While I revel in my sadness and crack jokes to mask the tears 

Of knowing not one of these people know me at all, even after all these years

Loving people from the outside in 

All the while knowing that time was the only thing that dictated the reason that we’re friends.

Searching for distraction to drown in quickly seemed to be, 

The only way to forget the reality that alone I’ll forever be. 

On the other side of sadness, a balance is always due

See, I was given my brother somehow, 

And how grateful I’ll forever be

For he’s the only one in the world that has

Protected me from me

Somehow I was given this little slice of gold 

In a world of shit and sorrows searching for the rope. 

He’s the only one whom may ever know what I mean when I say, I’ll always be alone.

Even though he’ll never believe when I say

I’m only the one that’s ever met him 

Alone we’ll never stay.

Devine his presence be. I wait for the day he opens his eyes to finally see, 

In a world of strangers we’ll sit, 

But that stranger to me he’ll never be.

See, he’s burdened just the same. A soul too deep for anyone to ever see.

A human my mothered created born with goggles of the deep 

A person to stand beside me while our lonelies finally meet. 

With billions of pawns around us, one thing still stands true, like a bishop and a queen on the opposite side of you, maybe no else will ever see, 

But I promise you one thing, For a lifetime I’ve known you

As hard as it is to believe, 

I understand you to the core of all

The things you feel go unseen, 

The only way I know for sure is because we feel all the same things.

The one thing your searching for in life has been me all along. 

Trust me you must. I know it’s hard to do..but my life stands on nothing at all if there will ever come a day that I don’t have you. 

You think that I don’t know 

Unfortunately, I do 

Please listen when I say that I love you 

All I know of life so far is that the only thing the world ever had since enough to give me has been you all along.