And here it is I sit, alone again I’ll admit.
Pulled over before my stop
Trying to convince my thumbs to jot down
What my mouth couldn’t get
Solitude has struck me cold to many times for me count
The nights where I beg for someone in this place I’m in to know who I am without me helping them out
And deeming them too blind to figure me out.
So by myself I sit, with all the ones I love in line to spend time with someone they’ve never met
From a child I knew too well that the sense of loneliness I felt back then
Was something I’d likely never live without
Trapped in a world of which no one understood that life is bigger than cracking beers in the woods.
When I was younger I pitied them because even then I knew
Not one of them will ever know the truth behind everything they thought they knew
They had fun playing drinking games and talking about the little things
While I disappeared to the curb where I cried and wondered if I’d ever know
What it meant to be so blind
I often struggled with question, of why
Why was I chosen to live this life of loneliness
Why was I chosen out of all of them to be burdened with the life I had when reality sets in
Who decided I was equipped enough to handle my questions and fears while having not a soul in my corner to help me through these years.
What in the world could I have done to deserve finding answers to questions and having mind enough to contradict them all.
Oh the the nights I cried and wept begging for this life to give me something that made since.
Having friends made it worse
Now I’m forced to see how great life looks had I not been cursed
Cursed with a mind that can always see beyond these silly games and all the days in between.
While I revel in my sadness and crack jokes to mask the tears
Of knowing not one of these people know me at all, even after all these years
Loving people from the outside in
All the while knowing that time was the only thing that dictated the reason that we’re friends.
Searching for distraction to drown in quickly seemed to be,
The only way to forget the reality that alone I’ll forever be.
On the other side of sadness, a balance is always due
See, I was given my brother somehow,
And how grateful I’ll forever be
For he’s the only one in the world that has
Protected me from me
Somehow I was given this little slice of gold
In a world of shit and sorrows searching for the rope.
He’s the only one whom may ever know what I mean when I say, I’ll always be alone.
Even though he’ll never believe when I say
I’m only the one that’s ever met him
Alone we’ll never stay.
Devine his presence be. I wait for the day he opens his eyes to finally see,
In a world of strangers we’ll sit,
But that stranger to me he’ll never be.
See, he’s burdened just the same. A soul too deep for anyone to ever see.
A human my mothered created born with goggles of the deep
A person to stand beside me while our lonelies finally meet.
With billions of pawns around us, one thing still stands true, like a bishop and a queen on the opposite side of you, maybe no else will ever see,
But I promise you one thing, For a lifetime I’ve known you
As hard as it is to believe,
I understand you to the core of all
The things you feel go unseen,
The only way I know for sure is because we feel all the same things.
The one thing your searching for in life has been me all along.
Trust me you must. I know it’s hard to do..but my life stands on nothing at all if there will ever come a day that I don’t have you.
You think that I don’t know
Unfortunately, I do
Please listen when I say that I love you
All I know of life so far is that the only thing the world ever had since enough to give me has been you all along.