You’re welcome

Forever sad

Drowning in a life that wasn’t supposed to be this bad 

Dreaming of dream where these trials seem worth it

A morning painted in gold the day that my entire life becomes a memory that I’ve told

Knowing the distance quickly drifts away further from the time I convinced myself to stay

Coddling my fears of never getting out 

Remembering the days I counted the years till I tapped out

Understanding no one can fix what’s been done. 

Praying to god “whose work has just begun” 

Wishing there was someone to feel what I’ve felt, at the same time praying no one else ever gets the cards I’ve been dealt 

Alone in a world where everything is possible 

Anyone can live the life they’ve always dreamt about, 

Haunted by the truth that out of everyone I’ve ever met I’m the only one I know that can’t find a way out

Scared that I’m destined to be the girl that didn’t live, because the universe gave her the problems of all the other kids 

And they grow to be strong with degrees in business and their in laws get a long. They create human beings so their name carries on. 

While I sit on the edge 

of the parking lot that I found 

when I was 15 and knew that I’d always be without. 

Taming these depressive spouts with reality tv and all the drugs we took before we turned 16

Clinging to sick comedy which seems to only be 

The only way I blend into a world that only had mind enough to create one of me 

So you could one day see, what you could of been had you been here instead of me

Knowing that my purpose is to be alone beneath the surface. 

Death is only an end to the idea of a life I always knew I’d never find. 

Remember? ►

Comments

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Chelsea Crossman

Tue 12th Mar 2019 05:27

From your response, you must be able to relate. Your input is appreciated heart of lead!

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Heart of Lead

Sun 10th Mar 2019 04:08

This is haunting and heartbreaking. True loneliness is the belief (outside of angst) that our souls are alone with stories sucked up from the riverbed of life to remain barely below the surface.

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