Drowning in a life that wasn’t supposed to be this bad
Dreaming of dream where these trials seem worth it
A morning painted in gold the day that my entire life becomes a memory that I’ve told
Knowing the distance quickly drifts away further from the time I convinced myself to stay
Coddling my fears of never getting out
Remembering the days I counted the years till I tapped out
Understanding no one can fix what’s been done.
Praying to god “whose work has just begun”
Wishing there was someone to feel what I’ve felt, at the same time praying no one else ever gets the cards I’ve been dealt
Alone in a world where everything is possible
Anyone can live the life they’ve always dreamt about,
Haunted by the truth that out of everyone I’ve ever met I’m the only one I know that can’t find a way out
Scared that I’m destined to be the girl that didn’t live, because the universe gave her the problems of all the other kids
And they grow to be strong with degrees in business and their in laws get a long. They create human beings so their name carries on.
While I sit on the edge
of the parking lot that I found
when I was 15 and knew that I’d always be without.
Taming these depressive spouts with reality tv and all the drugs we took before we turned 16
Clinging to sick comedy which seems to only be
The only way I blend into a world that only had mind enough to create one of me
So you could one day see, what you could of been had you been here instead of me
Knowing that my purpose is to be alone beneath the surface.
Death is only an end to the idea of a life I always knew I’d never find.