Uncle Seamus

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Uncle Seamus was quite infirm

and couldn't get up the stairs

So he lived and slept in the living room

but still managed two affairs

 

The first with a local widow

who set his heart on fire

the second one more ambitious

with the Malvern Hills Girls Choir

   

He kept himself quite healthy

though his hygiene wasn't best

just washing round the edges

of his sweat-infused string vest

 

Time eventually caught him up

and he died one August night

from distemper and a severe case

of Irish potato blight

Life

◄ Saturday 3 July 1971, Uxbridge

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Comments

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kJ Walker

Wed 24th Oct 2018 07:17

Ha. You've just reminded me of a neighbour, who ended up in a nursing home. He had several affairs, and despite his infirmity was able to climb on the lucky ladies. Climbing off was a different matter, he had to pull the cord for a nurse to help him.

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Brian Maryon

Tue 23rd Oct 2018 23:55

Thanks all, and I would like to apologise to the Malvern Hills Girls Choir for bringing their name into disrepute.

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 22nd Oct 2018 16:03

Your relatives are dead funny - and even funnier dead!

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Taylor Crowshaw

Mon 22nd Oct 2018 14:32

Still smiling Brian..😂

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Don Matthews

Mon 22nd Oct 2018 11:00

Distemper I'd heard about only
So Googled, to try clear my fog
Was shocked to discover that distemper
Does not affect humans, only dogs

This strongly suggests Uncle Seamus
Was not really human at all
But hiding beneath his exterior
Was a dog which distemper made fall

(shoulda got vaccinated....) 😎

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Graham Sherwood

Mon 22nd Oct 2018 10:07

Brilliant start to the week Brian! Thank you for the smile!

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