The Denial of an Ageing Disgrace

Where's the fucking rizlas man?
I just need a fucking smoke
to take the edge of
starting with just one almighty toke
this week's been shit. I have to say
today's been much the same
let's smoke 'til I can't see her face
and can't recall their names
she said that I'm an addict yeah
what does she fucking know?
A few pills every weekend
and a little bit of blow
a spliff for breakfast everyday
to help me on my feet
and a couple more at bedtime yeah
but that's just to help me sleep
beers with the lads at dinner time
before it's back to work
and a swift one after clocking off
It's the least that I deserve.

I love my life - there's nothing wrong
I'll never change a thing
there aint a drinking game exists
that I can't fucking win!

How could she ever understand 
or find ways to forgive?
She must think I'm some useless selfish bastard fucking div!
There's things I tried to tell her
but how could I ever say?
I think of ways to end my life at least fifteen times a day
she never let's me see the kids
it breaks my fucking heart
she's says I'm unpredictable 
but she knew that from the start
school, foster homes and prison
none of it did me no good
I was born and dragged up fighting.
Surviving. Any way I could
I've been this way from being fourteen
life will never be no different
pissed and stoned forever
from a fourty plus delinquent!

abuseaddictionalcoholAngerdenialDrugsparentparenthoodparentingpoempoetryworking class

◄ Child's Play?

Having a Boss Time Behind Bars ►

Comments

Big Sal

Fri 24th Aug 2018 00:48

Great flow to a great piece.👍

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