Women May Not Get This
When men have a wee in a public loo...
Sometimes you're up for it
and playfully direct a strong jet
to move a piece of gum around the bowl
negotiating the gaps between the yellow blocks
Then sometimes you're bursting
but you can't go, you get stage fright.
It's even worse when you're hemmed in by two big blokes
and there are no sides to protect your privacy
Then they start talking across you
and you're thinking...are they looking?
Comparing sizes possibly?
Will I come up to spec?
And as you are thinking this it shrinks a little.
You still can't go, so you make a finishing noise
stick it back in your trousers, and leave...
returning five minutes later when the coast is clear
You can't beat a wee at home in privacy.
There's nothing to put you off.
You can go as often as you like
or save it up and have a really long one
And if you want to avoid splashing the floor
or if you don't want your wife and guests to hear
you can do what women take for granted
and have a lovely relaxed sit-down wee