Women May Not Get This

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When men have a wee in a public loo...


Sometimes you're up for it

and playfully direct a strong jet

to move a piece of gum around the bowl

negotiating the gaps between the yellow blocks


Then sometimes you're bursting

but you can't go, you get stage fright.

It's even worse when you're hemmed in by two big blokes

and there are no sides to protect your privacy


Then they start talking across you

and you're thinking...are they looking?

Comparing sizes possibly?

Will  I come up to spec?


And as you are thinking this it shrinks a little.

You still can't go, so you make a finishing noise

stick it back in your trousers, and leave...

returning five minutes later when the coast is clear


You can't beat a wee at home in privacy.

There's nothing to put you off.

You can go as often as you like

or save it up and have a really long one


And if you want to avoid splashing the floor

or if you don't want your wife and guests to hear

you can do what women take for granted

and have a lovely relaxed sit-down wee



◄ Taking a Cat on Holiday?

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M.C. Newberry

Sun 8th Jul 2018 16:11

You have to admit that WOL provides a variety of themes!
I remember the protective consideration afforded by the
Victorians and Edwardians with their designs of high
partitions, usually of matching tiled or marbled finish -
even offering support when a bit tipsy -
that separated those relieving themselves in public loos.
Now we have those silly little bowls which offer no such
privacy and the added insult of unwanted splash-back to
signal our visit (via damp spot trousers) to the rest of the world! Progress? Hah!!

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keith jeffries

Sun 8th Jul 2018 11:40

Hello Brian,
Size Matters. Best going at home or in a cubicle. Thank you for this as it has just made me want go.

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Brian Maryon

Sun 8th Jul 2018 11:36

Thanks guys for your likes and comments

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kJ Walker

Sun 8th Jul 2018 06:58

Very funny Brian. I was with you all the way, right up to the end. But the sit down pee, I just don't get that. whenever I've tried that, I seem to have a false stop, then dribble some on the floor as I stand up.

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Sofia Urquiza

Sun 8th Jul 2018 02:54


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Sofia Urquiza

Sun 8th Jul 2018 02:54


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Sofia Urquiza

Sun 8th Jul 2018 02:53

Super funny! Good writing description on this, amazing on how you can just make someying big out of a tinkle lol

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Sat 7th Jul 2018 08:52

Hilarious B!!!! X

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Don Matthews

Sat 7th Jul 2018 01:14

Oh gosh I do so like this Brian
I mean, the pee relief
It may be long it may be short
(The pee), however brief

I hear you thinking down this wire
10.000 miles away
What's he gonna say next, what
'Bout my poetray?

Oh yes, that's what I'm 'spposed to
Do as commentator
You're teaching us the facts of life
Penisic piss debater

You've brought us all the ways and means
To let our stream come out
Be it big or be it small
It's just another spout

A body spout no more, no less...

(go to bed don...leave some room for other commentators)

Your playful rhyming poet 😎

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