Total Tosser

He’s cruising around staring at faces
desperate to satisfy his inflated ego and his increased social status
horn beeping when he passes girls
as he shouts a selection of questionable phrases
but this ain’t this blokes first rodeo 
he’s been doing this for ages
I watch him and I shake my head
and I swear to you 
in this world there is nothing cooler
than a balding middle aged fat cunt lecherous twat faced serial drooler.

#poem #poetry #man #car #driver

◄ It’s a Mystery

Child's Play? ►


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Martin Elder

Sun 1st Jul 2018 19:54

This is certainly a poem that rolls off the tongue quite nicely. I don't know if you have performed this live but I can imagine that it would go quite well.
Nice one Matthew

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Brian Maryon

Sun 1st Jul 2018 17:25

It's a great poem Matthew.

(I'm on holiday in Holland...chilled out and therefore having a day off from c-word objectionism D)

Holiday in Holland...almost a poem in itself!

Pat Hughes

Sun 1st Jul 2018 17:12

I've known a few.

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Laura Taylor

Sun 1st Jul 2018 17:12

Haha David.

Bang on Matthew!

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Sun 1st Jul 2018 14:43

I love the simile of Rodeo especially Matthew. The car puts an important distance and affords protection against possible reprisals all of which would be justified in full.
The whole episode recalls past decades when cars were king. Cars (dare I say it) generally possess less charisma these days, and therefore seem more at odds with the bloke in the poem.

I am reminded if I may of an old joke: a Rolls pulled up at traffic lights. Knock at the window, request for the price of a meal from the unfortunate outsider. Response: "neither a lender nor a borrower be!" followed by the phrase's author. This is followed by "cunt - DH Lawrence."

Sorry to go on a bit! Ray

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Wolfgar Miere

Sun 1st Jul 2018 13:04

Such creatures deserve their four lettered status.

Strategically well played to you Matthew, for putting the C word in the last line. Had you put it in the first you would have lost sensitive souls twenty seconds earlier.

Lets see who turns up to tell you all about the C word and why it will halt civilisation as we know it. Or maybe you'll get away scot-free, it's a busted flush these days

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